The Depth Of Feeling
by Saint Sentiment
Summary: Shaken by the death of a loved one, Risa is plunged into a world of anger and despair. Life itself is meaningless now, a neverending nightmare. But she is not the only one who is suffering. Can Satoshi show her to love again before it's too late? COMPLETE
1. The Stubborn Memory

This is another idea that I've had in my mind for a while. I actually thought this up before I finished ''Wings Of Desire'', and the idea would not leave me alone. It had to be written down. This isn't really explained the way a normal person would explain it. I decided that with this story, I would take a different approach. I would pry into Risa's mind, and try to tell the story just by the way she thinks. Or at least I tried to. I wanted to make this story a psychological one. Enjoy the read.

_**The Depth of Feeling**_

(Risa)

The sky is a pale blue that puts everything at peace. The sun is blinded by the clouds that are crying on the city. I'm looking out the window, watching the heads of colorful umbrellas walk down the street. It's a dreary April day, and I'm confined to my room, watching the world go by. Outside, I see two teenagers running down the street, sloshing the water about. A boy and a girl. I hate that combination. My stomach churns in bitter jealousy as the boy grabs the girl's hand and they laugh their way home.

I can't have that. I wasn't given a hand to hold. I wasn't given...

_When I open my lazy eyelids, I drowsily drag my arm to my view. The watch on my wrist says 4:09 am._

_I've been here that long? I just fell asleep and time flew by..._

_I grunt as I sit up from the bench I was sleeping on. That emptiness is still here. It will never leave me. My gaze shifts to the swing set nearby. Sitting on it, I think. Think. Time goes by. But nothing is compensating for my misery. What am I doing here? Why did I come here?_

_Home...is not where I want to be. No, not home. No, I'm not going home. I hate home. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate Riku. I hate dad. But I love you, mom. I'll always love you. I just love you so much. _

_I squint my eyes, but the tears escape. Don't do this to me. I don't deserve this. I don't want this. I don't want any of this! I don't want it!_

_"Risa?"_

_Who...?_

_I look up and stare at none other than him. It couldn't be anyone else. There was never anyone but him. Only he would be here. He's the only one who should be here._

_Dark._

_"Risa, what in the world are you doing here?" He asked, his deep violet eyes full of concern._

_"I don't want to go home." I whisper._

_"You should be with your family. At home. Do you have any idea what time it is?"_

_"Do you know what time it is?" I ask, though knowing the answer. I know how late it is. But you're not making me go home. I won't go home. You won't do this to me. I'm not coming home._

_"It's four in the morning, Risa." He says. "You should be asleep."_

_"I was asleep."_

_"Where? On the swing?"_

_"No. The bench."_

_"The ben...you don't mean to tell me that...you actually slept in the park?"_

_I remained silent. Of course I slept here. I want to stay here. I have no home. The look in his eyes is killing me. He staring at me with disbelief. I can sleep here. I can sleep where ever I want! Stop looking at me! Stop it!_

_"Risa...what are you doing here?" He asks cautiously._

_Yes..why am I here? I shouldn't be here. But I can't go anywhere else. Riku's crying. It won't leave me. So I had to leave her. Dad is not here. Home...is not where I want to be. No, I can't. Stop it! Stop it! Stop crying! _

_"My mom..."_

_Dark approached me. "Yes, what is it? Risa, you're scaring me. Please te--''_

_"...She's dead."_

Memories. Why can't I forget?

My father is on a business trip. But he's not there for anything else. He's there to forget. Ever since mom died, he's never been here. I think I finally am starting to forget his face. Riku...oh Riku...ever since...she never once asked me to be there for her. Never once asked me to hold her while she cried. She was on the phone that night. I ran to the park to forget.

Her crying was giving me a headache. Everything that day made my head throb. She never once asked if I was alright. She never reminded me that we're sisters, that we'll get through this together. No, she didn't. Instead, she ran away too. Right into Daisuke's arms.

I haven't seen her since.

They said she wasn't going to live for very long. I should've seen it coming. I should've ran away then. I wanted to run. But mom needed us. I should've ran away. Riku was doing it. Why didn't I? She was on the phone with him every day, crying to him. Not once...not once did she say my name. She never needed me.

I hate you. I hate you Riku. I hate you too, Dad. I _hate_ you!

And now him. He's not here either. He's with her. Dark. Did I ever love you?

My friends. They're not here anymore. I don't want to be with them. What's so special about friends anyway? I _never_ needed them. That day, I decided I didn't need them. So I walked away.

_"We have to be here for Riku. I'm sorry, Risa."_

Augh...I fell asleep again. I stretch for a while, then I close the open window. It's silent outside, late again. The time. Where's my cell phone? Cell phone...phone..

I reach into my dress pocket and pull out my phone. Here it is. The time is 2:37 am.

It's been this long? Time goes so fast when I'm asleep. Time may have left me, but not that emptiness. No, that emptiness is still here. It's here with me in my room. It was there with me in the park. It was in the hospital too.

The hospital? Mom. It's there in the back of my mind. She doesn't exist anymore. That sour, recurring realization. The churning insides. The heavy conscience. That black realization. It's in the back of my mind, still there.

I woke up tired every morning. And she's not here.

I forced myself to eat something.I didn't want to but if I didn't, I'd get sick. Three days, no food. I had to eat something. And her dresses are in the closet.

Wanted to run again. I didn't want to come back. But the dishes had to be done. I can't leave the house messy. I'll get grounded. And she's not here to ground me.

I want to hurt Riku. I exist, you know! Daisuke isn't the only person on this earth! Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you tell me we have each other? Why won't you put your damn phone down!

And the bed is made on her side..she'll never sleep there anymore.

Isn't she cold? All alone. Dad isn't sleeping beside her. Doesn't she feel cold?

But that's when I remember. She won't ever feel again.

I look at the darkness outside. Trying to get my mind off of mom isn't easy. It's because she doesn't want to leave. I don't want her to leave. Her dresses are in the closet. I could sleep with that.

I want to smell her again. If I did that, I could fall asleep tonight. I won't wake up tired. She's not here. But everything she left behind is still here. I get up and trot across the hall to my parent's room. When I turn the cold knob and open the door, the smell suffuses my nostrils. She used to be here. She slept here with dad.

But she'll never sleep here again.

I walk into the room and close my eyes. I love you mom, I'll always love you. I promise I won't leave. I won't run away. You need me here, right? I open the closet door. Her smell greets me, as if she's welcoming me home from school for the millionth time. Her dresses. Exactly where she had left them. Exactly where she wanted them to be, before the phone rang.

I take out the pink one. It was her favorite. She wore it only once, though. At Aunt Mieko's wedding. She spun around so many times in this dress, I still remember the distinct feeling of dizziness. She used to love this dress.

But she doesn't love it any more.

Smelling her dress brings me temporary relief. I love her smell more than life itself. She was here once. I love you, mom. I'll always love you. I promise.

Back at my room, I try to let go of the loathing I have for being alone. She's here with me. I lay down the pink dress on my bed. I smell that wonderful scent one last time before it shuts me down completely. Sleep comes to me at last.

But not even sleep can sever me from that dread. That sour, recurring realization. It's still there.

_"...She's dead."_

The sun shines through the window, blinding my eyes. Even underneath my eyelids, it stings. I can see a bright mixture of colors, sending signals to my brain that now is the time to wake up. But I don't want to wake up. Mom is not downstairs. She isn't making eggs and sausage like she used to. She'll never make us breakfast again. Why should I wake up?

The house. I need to clean. I just need everything to be clean. If the dishes aren't done and the tables wiped clean, what would mom say?

_She wouldn't say anything._

I slowly will myself to move. I slump over myself until my brain reminds me the house has to be clean. I stand up, and drag myself to the door. A warm wind hits the back of my body, and I turn around to the open window by my bedside. But that's impossible. I closed it last night, didn't I? Oh, whatever. What difference does it make that I may have woken up in the middle of night and opened it? What difference does it make that I never really closed it at all? What if I just imagined I closed it? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. I sigh as I reach the last step, inhaling the sweet, lonely scent of my home. She was here before. She smelled like this house.

I go into the kitchen and take some Fantastic from the dinner table, where I left it. I don't remember leaving it there, but I was the only one who touched it since...

Wiping off the table until I can see my own reflection in the shimmering glass, I go on to my next task. And then the next. Then the others. In what seemed like only a few minutes, I cleaned the entire ground floor of my home. I can see my reflection in the dark screen of the television. I can see myself in the windows. Every porcelain doll sitting on the old rocking chairs have had their beautiful spiral curls defined, and their hair detangled. Their dresses have been dusted off, and I super glued any glass limb of theirs that had been broken off by rough care. The floor has been vacuumed, the kitchen floor has been mopped, all the evidence of how much the house has aged since then...completely gone. Only one unfinished chore. The dishes.

I let the water warm itself for a while, then grab the sponge that she used to use. I feel a profound sadness at the thought of the sponge eventually ripping apart from vigorous use, especially considering the fact that it was one of the few things she had touched before she...

That's right. She _is_ gone. She's not here anymore.

While washing off the dishes and drying them, I glance over at the refrigerator at my favorite magnet. The glance turned into a lasting gaze. The magnet says ''World's Greatest Mom". I remember buying her that magnet. I was 6 years old then. When I gave it to her, I told her I loved her and that she was my 'favoritest person in the whole wided world'. She laughed and corrected my grammar, then took the magnet and placed it there on the refrigerator, where it had remained for the past 8 years. She hugged me and tickled me where I would laugh the hardest, my feet.

"World's Greatest Mom". The world doesn't have the greatest mom anymore. And it never will.

_She was wearing a different dress that day. She wanted to wear the one she wore at Aunt Mieko's wedding, but dad said that it didn't seem like it was a good idea. I guess it wasn't._

_She was in the closet. She was sorting all her dresses, when it happened. She was going to pull out the pink one she used to love, but then it happened. The phone rang._

_"Yes?"_

_Incoherent murmurs on the other end of the line. Only she knows what that person is saying. Could be bad. Could be good. I didn't think much of it until she said who it was._

_"The doctor, honey." She said to my father. I couldn't read the expression on her face. That night in the park I knew why. It was because I've never seen that look on her before. I couldn't interpret that emotion on my mother's face. No, not hers. Her eyes would never narrow that way, he cheeks would never pale, her lip would never quiver. Not my mother. But I saw it there. I didn't know what it was until I was sitting on the swing. Not until I was looking at him with that concerned look on his face. It was fear. My mother had fear in her eyes._

_"Riku, Risa, my little sunshines." She giggled in the hospital bed. "Will you hold mommy's hand?"_

_We both grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. I didn't want to let go. No, you can't do this. Don't do this to me. Not today._

_"Please mom," Riku sobbed, "Stop talking to us like we're children."_

_"But you are children," She protested,"You're mommy's little girls."_

_"I know," she whispered almost inaudibly, the simple sentence hidden beneath Riku's fragile, breaking voice. It was all falling apart. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. Not to my family. Not to my mother. I hated everything that day. But not you, mom. I love you. I'll always love you. I promise._

_"I want you to take care of the house. I can't be there to take care of it." She sniffed. "Do you promise?"_

_"I promise." Riku and I said in unison._

_"And be good to eachother...be silly. It's okay to be silly sometimes." Now her voice was breaking, but the smile did not fade from her face._

_"Yes." Said Riku._

_"I promise." I said._

_"I'll always be with you both. When you're asleep, I'll be there. I will." She whispered, gazing into our glassy eyes. She nodded her head. "I will."_

_"Mom, what's happening?" I cried, shaking her hand. "Why won't you tell me?"_

_"Risa, my little pooh bear." She smiled warmly, grasping our hands tighter. "Do you remember that time at the beach when you buried mommy in the sand?"_

_She's dodging my questions. Don't do this. I have to know why!_

_"Yes, I remember."_

_"I can still feel the sand." She said. "It was rough against my skin. I can feel everything." _

_I gave her a confused expression, but the doctor told me the medicine she was taking had hallucinatory side effects. When I was sitting on the swing, I thought about that. She wasn't hallucinating. She could feel everything. Anything she ever felt was real to her in the hospital bed. She knew she didn't have time left. If she didn't remember what it felt like in time, then she would never feel again._

_"Mom...please..." Riku said, wiping a tear off her inflamed cheek, "Tell me what happened."_

_I have to know why. Don't ignore her question._

_"Riku, do you remember when we drove down to the barn? You saw the owl there. It twisted it's head around. You were scared," she laughed, "So I held you tight and told you it's okay. Because it is. It is okay."_

_Stop it! Stop it please! Why won't you tell me what happened!_

_"I remember, mom." Riku confirmed._

_"It was windy then. I can feel the wind." She said._

_The hospital window was open, blowing a fresh breeze through the interior. But she wasn't feeling the wind here. She was feeling the wind from the barn. She squeezed my hand tighter, so tight I thought she would crush it. It was then..._

_We both knew. It was time._

_"Girls...when you get married, have lots of grandchildren for mommy. Can you watch them grow for me, please?"_

_We both nodded. The room was deadly silent._

_"Both of you, stay in school. The people out there, they want smart people to work for them. Don't be a dummy and not go to school, okay?"_

_I let out a gasp and struggled to hold in my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of her. She couldn't see me cry. I had to be strong for her. But I was so weak. Riku was weak, too._

_"I love you, Risa, Riku...I just love you so much." She smiled, and my heart pounded faster and faster as she stared at us both. We gazed at each other until suddenly, she stopped blinking. At first it seemed she was frozen in place. But her hand was loosening. The warmth of her hand was leaving me. Dread, fear, sadness, despair...all whirled into one single, overwhelmingly powerful emotion the moment the light left her eyes. I actually saw the light leave. The light had left her lifeless and cold. Her deep auburn orbs turned into a dull brown._

_She was gone._

My face is wet before I even realize it. The water is still running, attempting to overflow the sink. Just another thirty seconds of depressed musing and I would've had quite a unpleasant awakening. I quickly turn off the faucet and stare at the depth of the water and the dirty dishes underneath. I turn over the plates that were clogging the sink, and slowly the water goes down. As it does, all I can think about was the retreating light. When the water goes down, it's gone. Just like she is. But I can turn on the faucet and the water will continue to run. If bringing my mom back to me was as simple as turning on the water, then she would be the one washing these dishes. I would've been upstairs, just waking up the fresh smell of the morning breeze and the reassuring clanking of plates and running water.

But never. Never again.

_Thump._

Huh? Why would there be any noise but the sound of the sloshing water as I move the plates about? Why would there be any sound but the wind blowing though the open windows? Is it because...someone is here?

I turn around to face _her._The traitor. She left me here. The one who used to be my sister. Riku. She has her arms crossed and glaring at me, having already disturbed me from my hopeless ruminations by dropping my long forgotten book bag on the kitchen table. If she broke the glass, I would've decked her.

"You're going to school today," She says in a I'm-not-asking-you-I'm telling-you tone. I clench my fists and return the cold glare. Just _who_does she think she is? First she abandons me for stupid Daisuke, and now she's going to tell me that I'm going to school? I haven't gone to school since our family life was destroyed. And now what is she trying to be? The hero of this tragic tale?

"So you just remembered that I exist? How comfortable is Daisuke's bed? I just thought you'd know, since you practically _live _there now." I growled bitterly.

Riku flinches and stomps on the floor. "I can't believe you! Don't you remember anything? We're supossed to be going to school! You've been absent for two weeks straight!"

"And did you just realize that _today_!" I screamed. "I remember everything! I'm not like you! I don't forget my family!"

"I didn't forget you!" Riku protested.

"Yes you did! Why don't you sleep here anymore, huh? Why did you vanish from the face of the earth for two weeks? Did you remember me while you were on your fricken phone all the time, crying your heart out to _Daisuke_?"

"You weren't important!" Riku cried, smashing her fists on the table.

I wasn't important? Did she just say what I thought she did? Was I ever your sister, Riku? Were you just so caught up in your own misery that you forgot you had a sister? Why didn't you come to me?

"I _hate_you!" I sobbed. "I hate you and I can't stand to see your face! Go back to Daisuke's house!"

"You're going to school now!" She fiercely commanded, throwing my bookbag at me.

"Your not my--"

"This isn't what mom would've wanted! She didn't want you to skip school!"

I stare blankly at her at the mention of our mom. Some times I can take it, some times I can't. I don't want to remember. I don't want to see the light. I don't want to feel a cold hand. I was never given a hand to hold...after she was gone. She's gone.

_"Do you promise?"_

I broke it. I broke that promise. I'm not going to school. For the rest of the time I was with Riku, I remained mute. I don't ever want to talk again. We were walking up to the entrance to the school, and I could see the smiling teenagers. I hate them. I hate them all. Why do they deserve to be happy when I'm not? It's not fair! It's just not fair! Why can everyone escape when I'm trapped! I don't want this place! I don't want it!

"Risa...when I came in, the house was clean. Why did you do that?" Riku was not facing me when she said this. I guess when I said I couldn't stand to look at her face, she took it seriously.

Mom told me to. She said we had to take care of the house when she was gone. So I did. If I left the house in it's aged condition, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It's what she wanted. It's what she would've wanted. I stay silent, vowing not to speak at all until the next day, maybe never.

Riku gets that I'm ignoring her, and whispers hurtfully, "Fine."

She speeds away on her bike to right over to Daisuke, who's waving at her from afar. She chains her bike and talks to him for a while. For a split second, his gaze meets my own, but he quickly looks away. I wasn't sure if Riku was talking about me ignoring her, or if he had a part in her desire for me to go to school today. The way he looked at me, it seemed as if he wanted to stare at me longer. To relish the image of me standing in a crowd of teenagers walking to the school. Knowing him, he probably can't remember the last time he seen me. It's because I wanted to disappear. I wanted to forget.

Just like Riku had forgotten me.

I wanted someone to steal away my pain. I wanted mom to take my pain away. Just like Daisuke had taken her away from me. Daisuke...the filthy traitor. I thought he was my friend. Before she abandoned me, I thought he would be one of my saviors. But I was wrong. Daisuke...I despise you.

_That feeling. My guts are churning again. It does that when you hear something so hurtful, it makes your insides hurt. I'm gripping the chains that suspend the swing I'm sitting on. I want to squeeze them so hard I'll crush the metal between my fingers. But what I'm feeling is not anger. It's heartbreak...and jealousy._

_"What...?" I choke out in disbelief._

_Dark is staring at me with eyes of sympathy. I don't like that look in a person's eyes. It's disgusting. I don't anyone to feel sorry for me! I don't want it! Stop looking at me that way!_

_He turns away from me. He clenches his fists, preparing himself to say it again. I don't want to hear it. It hurts..._

_"I'm...part of Daisuke.."_

_"Part of him? What do you...?" I can't think straight. Then again, I couldn't think straight since that horrible day. What does he mean he's 'part of Daisuke'? Since when was Daisuke ever involved in this? What is he telling me? That he's not a person. But how could he not be? He has his own body.._

_"Daisuke and I are one with eachother. I live inside him..and..Daisuke has chosen her as his true love.."_

_Not her. The traitor. He chose her? But if he loves my sister, that means Dark--_

_"...and so have I."_

_So have I...So have I..._

_The words won't leave me alone. Riku's crying won't leave me alone. It's all falling apart now. This wasn't supossed to happen. Not to me. I can't believe it...all the nights I've cried for him, all the nights..._

_Dark...did I ever love you?_

_"Risa...I never meant to hurt you. But I've been meaning to tell you this...that I'm...not human."_

_I knew you weren't. But you were a person to me! I don't want to hear it anymore! Stop it! I cover my ears and shake my head. No! Just leave me alone! Despite the fact that I'm covering my ears, I can still hear him say one last thing...before he goes. Before he leaves. Just like everyone else._

_"So, I can't participate in a human relationship. We have to be here for Riku. I'm sorry, Risa."_

The chatter of students. The sound of chalk on the board. The teacher's jingling bracelet. The tapping of the pencil on a desk. All sounds I don't want to hear. I can't believe my life anymore. Everything is detached from reality. Life turned from a happy dream to a never ending nightmare. Everytime I walk, every time I think, every time I breathe...it's there with me. The emptiness. It was there in my room last night. It was in the hospital. Now it's in the classroom.

"Ah, Risa Harada," says the teacher in astonishment, "Where in the world have you been? Have you been sick? Your sister is always here, but..." She looks around the classroom. The students have horrified looks on their faces. Some of them are shaking their heads. One kid is has his finger to his mouth, going, "Shh."

That's right. News of her death spread across the school like the plague. Now everyone knows.

I was originally going to ignore her, but Riku spoke up for me. Damn traitor.

"Um, Miss, she's been sick. She's lost her voice, so.." Riku trailed off.

"Oh, alright." The teacher turned to me with that disgusting look of sympathy on her face, "Well, I'll try not to bother you, Risa."

Good. Just leave me be, so I can think. I can't be here with all these people talking. They're talking...about me. They know what happened. They know everything. It's not fair. It isn't fair!

I can see him from the corner of my eye. Satoshi. I haven't seen him for a long time. In fact, I had completely forgotten he attends the same classes I do. If I could choose who to throw out of this class, it would be everyone except him. He doesn't talk. He doesn't say hurtful things. He isn't a traitor. He slowly turns his head towards me. He starts to eye me for a long time, and now I'm starting to reconsider who I would throw out of this class. No. If I could choose, I wouldn't even _be_ here.His mouth opens to say something, but he remains silent instead. That's right. Don't talk. Voices...I can't stand them. I just want to go deaf. I just want to forget. I just want to escape. I finger comb my hair and shield the side of my face with it. I comb it until I stop at a knot. I press down on it with my fingers. The tiny jolt of pain travels up my hair shaft to sting my scalp. It was then I remembered. I just realized...I can't remember the last time I brushed my hair.

Just walk. Walk. Go somewhere. I can't go home. I don't want to be there. I could...no, not the swing. Not the park. Where? Escape...escape...dammit this place doesn't have an exit! Where is anything? I go down the steps to the second floor. It's crowded with students. People. I can't stand those voices. Stop talking. Stop it! I walk past them and try not to touch anyone, but they keep accidentally rubbing against me. I finally spot the exit to the school. Sanctuary! But...what is sanctuary? Is there anything out there? Anything out there but home? The hospital? The park?

When I get out, I look around. Nothing here to set me free of this place. Just a few trees and a brick wall. I'm trapped. I thought I went out the front, but I'm in the back of the school. Great. If I go through the front everyone will see me. But here, at least...I can be alone. They don't want me there anyway. They never needed me. I walk around the perimeter of the back of the school, until something catches my attention. It's not a bird, it's not a plane...it's a tree. Standing there, all by itself. The other trees are separated from it. It's all alone. Just like me. I could sit there. I approach it slowly, and sit down on the cool grass. Does it mind if I sit here? Will it get annoyed if I--

You dummy! It's a tree! It doesn't have feelings!

Then I guess it's okay to sit here. I mean, when I see it standing there all by itself, it looks a little...lonely. Were you forgotten? Is that why the other trees are somewhere else? I'll sit here with you. I'll sit here everyday. I won't leave forever, I won't run away. I promise. I won't break it again.

* * *

"I don't know where she went." Riku said in bewilderment. "She just suddenly disappeared."

"Well, she couldn't have gone far. She only disappeared a few minutes after homeroom." Said Daisuke.

"Still, she could've walked out of the school. I fought with Risa to get her here."

"Yeah. Let's ask the teacher to give us a pass, then we can go look for her."

"Okay." Riku and Daisuke got up from their seats and asked the teacher. The teacher approved, so they both started down the hall. While on their excursion, they searched all around the school, asked nine teachers and students passing by if they had seen her, but no satisfactory results. It was then that they both decided to do something bold: they would leave the school without permission and continue their relentless search for Risa. And so they did.

They both walked down the busy, rainy streets of Azumano until they reached the Harada residence.

"Okay, here we are. Risa's house." Said Riku, sighing and putting her hands in her pockets.

Daisuke was confused."_Risa's _house? Shouldn't you have said ''_our_ house'?"

Riku looked down at the pavement and shook her head. "I guess I don't really live there anymore."

Riku took out her key and inserted it in the lock, she twisted it and flung open the door. That familiar, dreadful scent welcomed her, just like her mom would whenever she got home from school. She walked home with her sister then, and they were both greeted with their mother's squeal of delight at her daughters' return. It was _her_scent. Riku distinctly remembered that the house always smelled like her, no matter how long she was gone. Even in death, her mother was there and would never leave. This is where they had grown up. This is where two inseparable sisters had spend the happiest years of their life. _That was before the phone rang_, Riku thought to herself as she ushered Daisuke inside.

The house was unbearably lonely, but the clean interior was welcoming. The lifeless porcelain dolls on the old rocking chairs smiled blankly at them, as if they were happy they were there. Riku went up to her childhood favorite, Lucy. Lucy had ginger spiral curls and bright blue eyes, with a pink frilly dress and white stockings. Riku could've sworn her foot was broken off her ankle the day Risa had accidentally fell on her, but the foot was pieced together into it's proper place. Daisuke amused himself in the collection of shiny china plates displayed on the kitchen counter. The whole house had been cleaned, Riku realized, and it seemed to give the house a newer look. _If the two weeks had passed and everything had been left as they were, the house would look haunted. But Risa wouldn't let that happen, _Riku mused.

"Hey, this place is really quiet," Daisuke whispered, "Are you sure Risa is here?"

"Probably in her room.." Riku muttered to herself, hurrying upstairs to Risa's bedroom. She opened the door, "Ri--"

Riku just stood there. Daisuke ran up the steps to ask what was wrong, but he didn't need an answer as the inside of her room caught his attention. The room was tidied up, but on the bed layed their mother's favorite pink dress. _The one she wore the day Aunt Mieko was married._

And the window was open.

* * *

(Risa)

Laying against the tree, I can't think of anything else to do but think. The sky is drizzling rain, landing on my exposed legs and forming tiny water droplets. Nothing to do but to sit here and think about it. And so my mind wanders off..

_The sun is shining insufferably bright. The tide washes over my feet, giving me a sudden jolt of uncomfortable cold. I step back and admire the frothy sea water, running back to the ocean just so the waves can push it back toward me. I can slowly feel myself sinking in the sand, so I step back and leave a small hole where I had been standing. The rush of water fills the hole in a second, bringing shreds of seaweed with it. Riku picks up a sea shell and presents it to me._

_"Look, it's not broken like the other ones." She says happily. "You can keep it."_

_I gladly take it and slide my fingers down it's smooth surface. "It's so pretty. I'll give it to mom."_

_Riku and I run up to her. She's sitting in the sand, smiling at a crab peeking it's small, beady black eyes out of the sand and looking directly at her. When we approach the crab it quickly pops out of his hole and scampers sideways away from us. It has it's claws high over it's head, ready to snap at any opposers. My mother giggles and stands up, brushing the sand off her hips. _

_"What is it, my little pooh bear?"_

_"I brought you a shell, Mom. Riku found one that wasn't broken." _

_She takes it and says, "Oh, that's wonderful, sweetie. I'll keep it forever."_

_Ironically, she brought up her own demise that day. The subject came up when we were walking down the boardwalk, talking about all the cute hermit crabs that were being sold. She said it more to herself than anyone, but our dad and us heard her. She took out the shell I gave her from her purse and stroked it with her thumb. _

_"When I die, I want to be buried with this."_

_Dad scolded her for saying something so preposterous on a happy occasion, but Riku stood silent. I decided to open my big mouth._

_"You mean, in the ground? With that sea shell?"_

_"No. I want to be buried in the sea. With this." She said, holding up the shell._

Sitting by the tree, I absent mindedly uttered, "In her tomb by the sounding sea.."

From around the corner, I hear the back door slowly open and close. Footsteps advance, getting a little louder the nearer the unknown person gets to me. Riku? Maybe she looked for me. Or the principal? A teacher? I feel that feeling in my gut. I don't want anyone to see me. I get up and hide behind the trunk of the tree, trying not to make any noises. I try to breath without inhaling too much air. The unknown person could hear me breathing if they get too close. From where I'm hiding, I can only see the figure's shadow. I look for any curves in the figure that might indicate the person is female. I find none. So it must be a boy. That rules out Riku. Oh no. I don't like what I'm feeling right now. All alone in the back of the school with a _boy_? That doesn't sound good.

The shadow sets some things down on the grass and sits on the ground, leaning against the tree just like I did before I was interrupted. The shadow has a perfectly round head. That rules out Daisuke. Who could it be? I can't just walk away. He'll think I was stalking him or something. Or worse. He'll think I'm skipping class. Not that the whole school doesn't think I'm avoiding class..

But I can't just sit here behind the tree and wait until he leaves! I stay stay there for a few more moments until I decide that I need to get away. I need to go somewhere. Sitting behind this tree and avoiding this boy makes me feel trapped. Reluctantly, I slowly stand up and quietly brush myself off, trying not to scare him with any sudden sounds. Now all I need to do is calmly--

"Harada?"

I whip around to face Satoshi, who has his hands clutched on the side of the tree, like he was afraid of what was on the other side. He stares at me, trailing his eyes up and down my body like seeing a girl is a new experience for him. I instinctively yell my first thought: "Stop looking at me!"

He flinches and steps back. I guess no one has ever yelled at him before. "I'm sorry, Miss Harada, it wasn't my intention to upset you." He says softly.

Miss Harada? He's addressing me like I'm a teacher or something. I get a warm, foreign feeling in my chest. No one has ever addressed me with that much respect before. He said it like I'm older than him.

"M-miss Harada?" I choke out. My throat feels dry. I haven't drank water in 3 days on account of my depressed, obsessive pondering in my lonely house.

"Do you prefer I don't call you that?" He puts his hands behind his back and gives me a weak, timid smile. Is he actually happy to see me? What is wrong with this kid? Don't I look hostile? I haven't brushed my hair in more than 2 weeks. I don't like the way you're staring at me! Leave me alone!

"N-no." I clear my throat and keep my eyes to the grass. Just go away. Please. Just go.

"Well, if I interrupted you, I apologize. You see, every day during lunch I retreat to the back of the school and paint at my tree."

I was offended. This doesn't _belong_ to him! Who does he think he is? "_Your_ tree?" I spat.

He nodded. "Yes. May I show you?"

I gingerly approach him, and he points at the bottom half of the trunk. ''H.S'' in capital letters is carved into the wood. Oh. So this _is_ his tree. But he still doesn't have the right!

"Oh..is it Hiwatari or Hikari?" I ask.

He thinks for a moment. "It's interchangeable, I suppose."

I look down. A canvas, some brushes of varied sizes and a box of paints are on the floor. The box looks beat up and the brushes are caked with different colors of dried paint. But the canvas looks brand new. It's admirable that he's an artist. Most teenagers would rather talk on their cell phone all day or go on Myspace rather than paint. At least the kids in Azumano do that. I turn around to leave, but he speaks up.

"Excuse me."

"What?" I said more hoarsely than I wanted to.

He hesitates for a moment. "If you don't have anything in particular to do, would you mind if you stayed here with me? If it's not a problem, I would like to paint in your presence."

That feeling again. The warmth. I lick my lips and try to think of something to say. But I can't think of anything. His words completely caught me off guard. Satoshi is one of the few kids in our school with a reclusive personality, and everyone knows he prefers to be alone. But...now he's asking me if I would like to stay with him? And do what? Just talk? That's so out of character for him..

"Very well.." He says as he sits down and prepares his paints. My silence discouraged him.

"I..don't mind.." I whisper, pushing rough, uncombed strands behind my ear. "It's okay.."

He looks up at me and gives me the same shy smile. "Thank you."

My heart seems to skip a beat then. I've never met such a gentleman before. He's so kind. So warm. Not one thing he's said so far is hurtful. Can I trust him?

I sit down and watch him mix the colors. He has brown, peach, green, and blue. What an odd choice of colors. I unzip my book bag and pull out "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Stories & Poems" and read silently. Ever since that day, poetry has helped me cope. It is the most evocative and beautiful language there is. It's filled with kind words, and not hurtful ones. Poetry can't abandon me, much like paint can never leave the artist. I don't feel happy. But content is good.

Half an hour later, the bell sounds throughout the school. Lunch time is over. The emptiness returns to me as he organizes his supplies and prepares to leave. No. Don't do this. Please..

"Wait. Satoshi."

He picks up his canvas. "Yes?"

I can't just tell him that I want him to stay. He has to get to class. Dammit, Risa, think of something to say! Don't just sit there and look dumb! Um...um..

"C-can you show me what you painted?"

He takes a peek at his canvas and gives me an unsure look. "Well, I'm not so sure that I.."

Being persistent, I say, "You were painting all this time and you won't even show me the finished result?"

Reluctantly, he accepts. He presents the canvas to me and I stare in awe at the masterpiece he just made in under an hour. It's...me. His strokes are thin and precise, accurately depicting me sitting down in the grass, calmly reading my book. Did Satoshi really paint this? He made me look so...pretty.

"W-why..? I-I mean...me? Of all people?" I manage to stutter again. Is he intimidating to me, or have I just not learned to speak correctly? I curse my flawed speech ability until he does something I don't expect. He takes a section of my hair in his hand and slides his finger down the shaft of my strands. He does this as if it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. I twitch as my heart skips a beat again. Damn you, Risa! Stay calm!

He gazes at me with those deep azure eyes of his. "A human being is the greatest work of art."

And with that...he left. He turns the corner, and the door opens and swings shut. I sit there in the dewy grass, trying to grasp reality. He can't mean me. Not me. I'm not pretty. Why would he paint me? Is this his idea of a joke? A human being..? I clench my chest and whisper softly to myself:

"A work of art..?"

* * *

Whew! That came out longer than I expected! I hope you enjoyed. As you can see, Risa is a little out of character here. Like my previous Risa/Satoshi fic, she has a depressed personality. Did you like?


	2. Misery

(Just a side note for those who may be confused by the paragraphs in italics..those are flashbacks)

(Satoshi)

Great. This is just what I need. That feeling in my gut. I don't need this. Why did I do that? It won't be long before he..

I can't have that happen. When he wakes up he's...no. Not thinking about that. I can't let him hear me. Be quiet. Don't think. Just go home and sleep. Yeah, all I need is some sleep. It won't make things better, but atleast I can escape for a while. I pass by a grocery store on my way home, and the tantalizing sight of a woman walking by with bags of food makes my stomach growl. I shiver and cover my stomach, hoping no one heard that embarrassing sound. I ignore my hunger and continue walking home. Though it kills me deep inside, I can't eat. I have to keep my energy low. He can't use me when I'm weak. I'm useless to him then. But I have to eat something..I'll kill myself before long if I keep this up. But would that be so bad? As far as I know, death is just a deep sleep. A deep, coma-like, eternal sleep you'll never wake up from. That doesn't sound too bad. I like to sleep better than anything else. So if I fell asleep forever, I wouldn't have a reason to complain. I would be unfeeling. No more pain. No more anxiety. No more fear. Sounds welcoming.

Walking home now. So hungry, so tired I want to collapse. Haven't eaten in a long while. I'm afraid of everything now. But I wasn't afraid when I was sitting next to her...

No! Next subject...just focus on going home. I don't want to think anymore. I finally approach my doorstep, swipe my entry card in it's slot, and open the door. Upon entering my home, an unsettling emotion takes over me. But what could possibly be wrong? Nothing but me and my lonely apartment. Nothing but me...and him.

Is it me or is it a little...stuffy in here? It's so hot. I loosen my collar and brush back my hair. From the corner of my eye, I can see something glowing a bright vermillion. I turn my head to the color to face the fireplace, lighting up the dreary confines of my apartment, but still giving it an eerie effect. Why in the world would the fireplace...?

Then I see him. The last person I wanted to see. His gold locks and piercing eyes send shivers up my spine. I hate this. Fear. He's drilling a hole in me the way his gaze is completely fixed on me. He's laying on the couch with his arms crossed, looking annoyed. I can't think of anything I might've done to upset him...

No. Wait. I remember. Dammit, he knows. He saw everything. I thought he was asleep!

Krad tilts his head to the side, still glaring at me, and says, "The greatest work of art?"

A jolt of panic races up my body, and I shiver again. I don't have to answer him. I'm just going to walk away. Just walk away. What's the worse he could do to me? I walk past him, or atleast try to. He catches me off guard by snatching the canvas out from under my arm. He stares at the painting in animosity, dispising the woman depicted in my work.

"Krad! What are you doing?" I say as I try to snatch it back. Unfortunately, Krad's height gives him the advantage in our little quarrel for the painting. He holds it high above me, and I pathetically jump up and attempt to steal it. He pushes me back with sudden force and I land on my behind.

"Dammit, Krad! Give it back!" I spring up and swipe at the elevated painting, but my failed attempt is met with a hard slap across my face. I stumble back, holding my cheek. My lips and hands quiver in disbelief. He actually struck me. It's been such a long time since our fights have gotten to the point of physical violence, but with Krad's malicious tendencies it was only a matter of time. "K-Krad..." I stammered.

Krad takes the painting down from it's high position and shouts, "The greatest work of art? That disgustingly pathetic _human_ girl? A work of art? Have you lost your sanity?!"

"K--"

"Your pathetic race may have the ability to create great things, but you yourselves are _not_ great."

I stayed silent. There was no use arguing with him...unless I want to get hit again.

"What happened between you and that girl will cost you! Whatever rebellious notion had come into your mind, it would be wise to not entertain it any longer!"

Krad throws the painting in the fireplace, and the flames consume it instantly. I run over to the fireplace and turn it off, but it's too late. A part of the canvas where Risa's face had been was reduced to ashes, and the rest of her body was melted and horribly disfigured. I sank to my knees and gazed at the destroyed piece. Before I have time to try and hold the capacity, tears make tiny paths down my cheeks. I shake violently and clench my fists.

"I hate you! I want you to die!" I cried in despair.

Krad was unaffected by this and crossed his arms. "It was for your own good. I don't want you to socialize with all these ugly people. Stay away from that girl or else."

"I can paint anything I want!" I screamed as I ran into my room and shut the door like the pathetic child I am.

The broken dishes. The destroyed artwork. The paint splattered all over the wall. The over turned tables. The broken tv. Everything here says there's been a fight. And there was. I don't know why I did that. I just got so angry I...I fought with myself. I demolished my own home. I hate everything. I just want everything to hurt, just like I do. I want everyone to die. I want to die. I want to kill Krad...I want to kill him..

The bedroom door is locked. Won't keep him out though. He's there...wherever I go. He'll never leave. And everything is broken. I can't ask my 'father' for money. He'll know I destroyed everything. Why should I get money from him? I know what I'll do. I'll buy new plates...new everything...and when I'm mad..I'll break them again. I can't be trusted. I'm laying on the floor, rigid. My face feels hot and wet. I have a headache. My cuts are stinging. I should've handled the glass better. No. I wanted to cut myself.

I sit up drag myself to the edge of the bedside. The glass scrapes the floor when I push the fragments away from me. I slowly pull the sleeves of my school shirt up my arms and tuck the fabric in. What is revealed to me is my marred skin. Pink slashes in random places. I can't remember how many times I've cut myself. There's so many of them. I reach into my pocket and pull out a small razor. My savior in my time of need. I puncture the skin and grunt in discomfort. I slide the blade up to my wrist. The main artery. I'm so close. So close...so close...

Just one more cut..

_(Exeunt)_

* * *

(Risa)

The cool water trickles down my body. Such a refreshing feeling. It feels so good. I take the shampoo and lather up my hair. Taking a small comb, I gently slide it through my strands and detangle my hair. At school I actually walked around with my horrible unbrushed, unwashed hair. After that day...I just didn't want to shop for new clothes. Didn't want to go to the salon. Didn't want to take my usual bubble baths. Every enjoyable aspect of my life was demolished that day. Augh, no. I don't want to feel sad anymore. Just want to get clean. I wash out the shampoo and slide my thumb down the length of my hair just like Satoshi did. He thinks I'm a work of art. I've never had someone say anything like that to me before. I feel my cheeks. Am I blushing? This is so embarrassing...well, atleast no one can see me. I take the conditioner and slap it on my head. Then I take the soap and scrub everywhere. I wash out the conditioner and turn off the faucet. All clean. Now to take a nap. When I push back the shower curtain and see my reflection in the foggy mirror, I begin to analyze myself. I cup my breasts and feel them. I rub my flat stomach. A work of art...

...me?

I close my eyes and imagine him sitting against the tree with me, painting me without my knowledge. I take the comb I had with me in the shower and brush my hair. For some odd reason, I care that my hair was knotty when I was at school. Couldn't I have gone to school looking more presentable? I stare at myself in the mirror again. I guess I'm not that bad looking..infact...I look really pretty. I am pretty. But that's because what he said made me feel pretty.

No. That's not it. He doesn't make me feel pretty.

"He makes me feel so...beautiful."

_I have tears in my eyes. I can feel his eyes boring into me. I don't want to look at him. Still clutching the chains. I still want to crush them. Why is he here? Why can't he just go and leave me be? _

_"Risa...?"_

_My unwilling eyes look up to him. He's just a figure in the darkness. I can't see his face anymore. He must be ashamed. My eyes are so blurry I just can't..._

_"There is someone who loves you."_

_But that person isn't you._

_He flies off into the night sky. His wings leave behind hundreds of black feathers that drift off in the purple sky. I wish I could fly. Then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. If I can't run away, I want to fly away. If only I had wings like he does._

The door bell sounds, and I'm plunged back into reality. I blink for a moment, trying to grasp where I was just now. I look around, finding I'm still in my bathroom, still naked, and someone's at the door. My face turns red again and I scramble for clothes. In a rush, I decided to just slip on my school uniform really quick and answer the door. My first thought on who it might be is dad. He could be back from his business trip. My hopes are high, and I know how happy I'll be when I see his face. I trot downstairs and welcome him home, but I get a unwanted suprise. The person at my door isn't dad.

She slings the bookbag over her shoulder and puts her hands at her hips. She does this as if she's convinced that since she manipulated me this morning into going to school, she can do it again tonight. Not a chance. She betrayed me. She used to be my sister. But now she isn't, not anymore. Never. Never again.

"I'm coming back, Risa." she says with a stern look in her eyes. How did she become so convinced that I'll let her in this house to defile it again? She abandoned me, and I won't ever allow her to come back.

"I thought I wasn't important. All your crap is at Daisuke's anyway, so as far as I'm concerned you're no longer welcome in my house." I snap.

Riku flinches and pushes me back, and I almost fall down. "Just who do you think you are?! This is still our house! My name is on the lease just like yours!"

"Since dad's gone, I'm the boss and I say what goes! And I say get out!"

Riku slams the door shut behind her and crosses her arms in defiance. Her intended act of disobedience lit a fire in me. If she won't leave, then the police can drag her out.

"I'm calling the police!" I threatened, staring at her with disgust. I can't believe she just waltzed into my house and said she's coming back. What does she expect me to do? Welcome her with open arms after she left me all alone? I won't tolerate it!

"The police won't do a damn thing to me unless I threatened to hurt you, and in case you didn't know--I still live here!" she yells back.

I run up the steps to get the phone from my room to show her it wasn't a threat, it was a promise. But Riku zooms up the stairs after me, clutching my wrist before I can run into the room and lock the door. She spins me around to face her and shouts, "Do you honestly think mom would like it to see you kick me out of my own home?!"

I froze in place. My mind goes blank at the mention of her name. At that moment her smell suffused my nostrils, forcing me to relive the horrifying sight of the dying light in my mother's eyes while she layed in the hospital bed. I don't want this thought. I don't want to see it! I want to push it away from me!

Having entered my bout of insanity I scream back, "You filthy traitor! You took everything away from me! You even got a boyfriend before I did and even stole my true love away from me! I hate you!"

Just as I wanted to push my mother's deteriorating gaze away from me, I had lifted my hands and shoved Riku away from me. She flew back and tried to grip the railing, but it slipped away from her fingers, leaving three giant gashes carved into the wood from her nails. After her first and final attempt at rescue, she tumbled down the steps. I heard a sudden crack and she hit the ground, rolling to the door and hitting her spine against it. She layed there, face down and rigid for a what seemed like forever while I contemplated the senselessness of what I just did. The terrifying thought that I might've killed her takes hold of me and refuses to let me go. She's bleeding. There's a tiny pool of blood gathering underneath her limp arm. At the top of her elbow, a portion of ripped skin reveals a white surface. I trembled and covered my mouth in horror. My eyes welled up with hot tears and I began gasping and sobbing, trying to blink away the sight of Riku's motionless, bleeding body. But it wasn't going away. I felt this terrible, awful pain in my stomach. A powerful, swirling mix of emotions grasped me, and I sat there, crying, and clutching the railing.

What did I do? Oh God, she's not moving. She's completely still. She can't be. No, no, no...please. Please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no, no, no...please. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Riku, I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to do it! Please do something! Wake up! Wake up!

Just as my brain was sending messages to my conciousness that I am a murderer, an insane girl who just killed her own sister, a completely psychotic, senseless maniac intentionally pushed her sibling down the steps and killed her...

She twitches.

I blink again and zoom in on her, at first believing that she didn't move. That my desire for her to suddenly spring back to life was causing me to hallucinate. Those horrible emotions are still swirling through me at a faster, intensifying rate. I breathe in a lung full of acrid air, the faint, but very present scent of her blood filling the air. She twitches again. She could be dead. She could be alive. Her nerve endings could be firing inside her frantically as she's dying. But is she? Is she--

She coughs. My heart skips a beat and starts beating like a frenzied drum. Riku..? Are you...?

She grunts and coughs again, and her broken arm begins to shake violently. I gasp and fall back in suprise, completely mesmerized by the fact that she still has life in her yet. I could've sworn...I thought she was...I could've sworn she was dead. She's...

I try to talk to her, but no words come out, and it occurs to me that I'm in such a state of shock I cannot speak. My second attempt at saying something comes out as a harsh gasp. I try to assemble my thoughts and ignore the overwhelming feelings boiling inside me. I attempt to speak a third time, and my voice finally decides to obey me.

"R-R...Riku...?" I whisper, even more tears trickling down my cheeks as I see her struggling to move.

Her eyes catch the protruding bone from her arm, and she screams out in pain. Riku holds her arm and releases another blood-curdling scream. Over and over she screams and gasps for breath. I shake my head and whimper, covering my ears. No, no, anything but this sound! No! No! Stop screaming! Stop it please! But Riku refuses to stop screaming. She refuses to cease her painful cries. She rolls over on her stomach and scratches at the door, leaving thin trails of dark red blood. With her unbroken arm, she reaches up to the door knob and tries to turn it. Her nails make tiny scratching sounds as she tries with no avail to grasp it. My head is screaming at me that I have to help her, that I can't just leave her there to struggle. Having gathered up what could loosely be called courage, I try to will my body to move. I tremble over to the first step, and my toes press down on the it, making it creak. Riku is startled by the creak and turns to me, distracted from escaping. I can see so many feelings in her eyes. Red rimmed and watery. Her orbs are full of fear, anger, pain and bitter malice. She squeezes her eyes shut and screams, "Don't come near me you fricken psychopath! I swear I'll hate you until the day you die! I want you to _die_!"

I mouth Riku's name, and let out another choked sob."I-I'm s...orry..." I stutter helplessly.

Riku lets out another painful, angonizing scream and stumbles to her feet. She looses her balance and slams against the wall, forcing her to yell out again. I want to help her, but my body isn't cooperating with me. As if bound in immobility by Riku's demands, I sit there on the steps, shivering and mouthing to her that I'm sorry. She reaches for the knob again and manages to open the door, the blood from her shattered skin dripping and defiling the carpet. She trips over her bookbag, making papers spill out. She grunts and with all her strength bolts out the door, screaming for help. The door is left open and I keep my eyes glued to the dark sky outside. After that...I sit there and wait.

Wait to die. Wait to faint. Wait to wake up from a horrible dream. Wait for the tranquility of the night sky to be disturbed by the sudden sound of the ambulance siren. But nothing. Nothing for hours. No one calls for me. The police don't arrive. I fall into the floor and slip into what feels like a coma. I can still feel the rough material of the rug against my skin. But I don't feel the cold steel or hear the clank of silver cuffs securing themselves around my wrist. Riku's screams have been silenced. For what seemed like only a few minutes, I see her falling down the steps over and over again. I keep on seeing those eyes of hers, filled with hatred...hatred for me.

_"I want you to die!!"_

All the while I could still feel the fire of her fury in me, leaving it's mark in my memory and my senses. I could only smell the strong scent of her blood. I could only see her eyes of hostility and the frenzied scrapings on the railing and the door. I could only hear her shrill screaming and her cruel denouncement of me. Her last words ring in my ears.

_"Don't..." _

_"Near me.."_

_"Fricken psychopath..!!"_

_"Hate you..!!"_

_Riku's voice disappears slowly, and a new image comes into view. I'm so little. My fingers are so small...and my eyes are huge. I still have long hair. I'm crying, holding a porcelian doll in my hands. Riku's doll. She's petting her ginger spiral curls and telling me to calm down. I lost my grip. I fell down while we were playing and landed on Lucy. I cried for her. Riku wiped my tears away. I smiled and looked at her. She wasn't angry like I'd thought she'd be. Lucy was her favorite, and I broke her. I fell on her and shattered her leg to pieces. Riku picks up the broken pieces and places them in the pocket of Lucy's pink dress. _

_"It's okay to be silly sometimes." she said. "And it wasn't your fault. It was an accident."_

_"B-but..I b-broke her," I sobbed, "She'll never forgive me!"_

_Riku picked her up and cradled her in her arms. "No, she says it's okay. She's not angry okay?"_

_Mom entered the room, shaking the water droplets off her hands after cleaning the dishes. "What's wrong, pooh bear?"_

_"I b-broke Lucy.." I cried, hiding myself in my arms. "I'm such a bad girl!" _

_"Risa.." she picked me up and cradled me in her arms, just as Riku had done to Lucy. "She isn't angry. Riku told you this." She carried me into the kitchen and pointed at the magnet I had given her. Still in it's proper place, praising my mother. "Do you see that? 'World's Greatest Mom'. Would a bad girl think that about her mommy?'_

_"No.." I said, sniffing and wiping my cheeks. _

_"That's right." She sat down on the kitchen floor and motioned Riku to come to her. Riku sat in mom's lap and she braided my hair. "Your mommy's little girls. Right?"_

_We both nodded in unison. _

_"Yes," I said. _

_"Of course," said Riku._

_She smiled and giggled at us. "I love you both..Risa, Riku...I just love you so much."_

The darkness is lifting. I stir out of my coma slowly. It's still there. This emptiness. Why won't it leave? Oh god Riku...what have I done? Please forgive me...I didn't mean to...

I slowly rise up and rub my shoulders, trying to console my shattered heart. This isn't what she would've wanted. I broke another promise. I broke it. I hurt Riku..she told _us_ to stick together. She told _us_ to stay in school. She told _us_ to take care of the house when she's gone. Not just me. I can't believe my life anymore. I completely lost myself. What I once was disappeared in a fog of memories and hatred..for everyone. I hate Daisuke. I hate my father. I hate Riku. But I don't hate you, mom. I didn't mean to disappoint you. I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't want to be a bad girl..but I did. Are you happy where you are? Are you cold? Are you angry at me? Do you hate me just like Riku? Can you see me?

I love you, mom. I wish you could see me. I clean up the house if it makes you happy. I will. I turn around to look at the bottom of the stairs. Papers scattered everywhere. Blood stains on the carpet. No, it can't stay this way. Mom would ground me if she saw this.

_If _she saw this. But she'll never see again.

I walk down the steps, painfully savoring the scent of my mother. Maybe she is standing here, watching me walk down the steps, watching the papers strewn about the floor. A witness to what I've done. I sit down on the floor and try to assemble my thoughts so I can comprehend them one at a time. But so many images, so many messages are being sent to my brain. I'm a horrible person. What have I done? The blood is everywhere. Mom, I miss you. Where did Riku go? I am going to jail. How did this happen?

At first I was afraid to touch something that was hers, because a random memory of my mom telling me that I shouldn't touch something that is not mine pops up into my head and repeats itself again and again. I want to hear her voice so badly. Even if she somehow came back and cried and screamed like Riku did, telling me she hated me...I would love each and every word. Her voice would intoxicate me. It's because I want so bad for her to be here. I want her to yell at me and tell me I've done wrong. I want her to condemn me. Atleast I would stop revisiting these mindless, randomly appearing ruminations and finally grasp reality instead of walking down a endless road of confusion. I suddenly come across a paper that catches my attention. I can only see the word "Ris" in cursive. I slide the paper that was laying over it away to reveal my name. It says..."To: Riku and Risa". My eyes catch the words above it: "From: Yoshiro Harada"

My father.

I'm staring at a torn envelope. Apparently, Riku must have retrieved the mail while I was cleaning my house. She secretly slipped it in her bookbag and took it with her to school. Why didn't she show me earlier? I pick up the letter and study it. A rather thin letter. He must've not had much to say to us. I take the letter out and unfold the paper.

_"Dear Riku and Risa, _

_These past few weeks have been extremely hard on all of us. We all miss mommy very much, but we need to be happy because mommy wouldn't want us to cry for her. The business trip will be over in about 2 more weeks. Just hold on a little while longer. I hate to have to write this to you both, but mommy's funeral expenses have left us penniless. This means you both have to get jobs. I don't care where you apply, but please do so soon. I haven't been paying the bills because of mommy, but after I'm done with this work here, things will be back to normal. I promise. I didn't forget my little star and my pooh bear._

_Love, Dad"_

Dear god. That's why Riku came over. She came over so dad wouldn't know what she did. She came over so we could be a family again. And to thank her, I nearly took her life. I injured Riku and threw her out of my ho--no..._our_ home! I destroyed everything! What will happen when dad comes home and finds out what I did? I ruined everything...

I fell on the floor and layed in Riku's blood. I just can't forgive myself. I want to stay here forever. Maybe it's better that mom is gone. Then she can't see me like this. She won't ever know what I did to Riku. I won't have to face my guilt.

_"Would a bad girl think that about her mommy?"_

I'm not a bad girl. I'm an abomination..

* * *

Like "Wings of Desire", this story is also composed of Risa's and Satoshi's point of view. I was thinking about having just one chapter dedicated for Risa, then another one for Satoshi, but I now prefer the alternating points of view in one chapter. By the way, a good soundtrack that I believe really brings out the mood of this story is _The Village. _It is composed by James Newton Howard, and in my opinion, he really knows how to put despair, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and love into music. Oh, and Satoshi's episode was really short compared to Risa's narration of the story, but hopefully it will be longer in the future. Thoughts, please?


	3. The Endless Sea

(Risa)

Any day now. Any minute now. I might be apprehended when I least expect it. But I know they're coming.

"_I want you to die!"_

I hang the pink dress she wore at Aunt Mieko's wedding in the closet because I can no longer bear the sight of it. It seems everything in the house is accusing me of a crime. I saw the porcelain dolls. Their bright, lifeless orbs bearing their mark in my soul. They no longer welcome me home. I have been shunned. It's because they know. They saw the whole thing. She saw it too. Lucy was sitting quietly with her little sisters on the rocking chair when all of a sudden..

They saw her falling down.

Now when I go downstairs I always see them. They all have mouths, but they can't speak. But if they could, I know what they would say.

"_You did it...you did it..."_

I go down the stairs and stare at the accusing bloodstain at the door. It won't disappear on it's own. I have to get it out. I know what I did. And I don't need that stain there to remind me. I strut into the kitchen and swipe the worn out sponge near the sink. Though it pains me more than I can say in words to rub the stain out with the sponge she used to use, I have to do it. It's a constant reminder of my guilt. To my horror, the stain is stubborn and won't come out. I'm too late. I was too shocked to move at the time. But now, because of my little bout of insanity, that stain is ingrained in the carpet. And now it will never leave. I must have rubbed the sponge into the carpet for well over an hour before I finally decided to give up. I sit against the door and try to avoid the dead eyes of the porcelain dolls. I might see my mother in them. Seeing as that's what drove me off the edge in the first place, I close my eyes. Now I can't see anything. Confined within the depth of my mind, I search for something that might serve as an anti-depressant. Only temporary, but I'd rather waste my life reliving my childhood memories than spend another minute in reality.

_We were at the library. I wore my hair in pigtails then, obsessed with praise. Every adult who passed by my small form would stare at me in admiration, saying things like, "Oh, she's so cute," or "Look at her! She's adorable!"_

_Ever since I was 3 1/2, I was caught up in a relentless pursuit to be the perfect lady. Being the perfect lady meant every eye was on me. Being the perfect lady meant that handsome men would kiss my feet and beg me to wear their wedding ring. And so, to keep my image and my unrealistic dreams intact, I vowed to be a model of excellence even in my girlhood years. This meant that I had to dress irresistibly cute and steal as much affection from everyone as I could. One day, when I was 5, I was trying on mom's high heels without her knowledge. Though the shoes were several sizes way too big, it didn't discourage me. I knew someday my small feet would be as big as hers, and I could entice the perfect man while wearing a seductive pair of high heels. Unexpectedly, my mother walked into the room and started giggling. When I knew I had finally been caught, I threw her shoes in the closet and spun around to face her. _

"_Now why was mommy's little Risa-pooh trying on my shoes?" she said teasingly._

_I blushed and and bowed my head in embarrassment. "I-I was trying to be like a lady."_

"_A lady, eh?" she asked, putting a finger to her chin and pondering something. "Well, did you know that a lady doesn't only have to be pretty?"_

_My head shot up in surprise. "Really? What else do they have to do?"_

"_Well, they have to be really well educated, too."_

"_Edu...catwed..?" I titled my head in confusion._

"_Yes. Ed-u-ca-ted. It means to be smart."_

_I nodded. "How do I do that?"_

"_You have know how to read, and do so very frequently."_

"_Huh?"_

_She giggled again. "Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that me and daddy use big words that you don't understand."_

_I felt disappointed. How was I ever going to squeeze all the knowledge of the universe into my brain in time to grow up flawless? Mom could see I was unhappy with my new found obstacle, and took pity on me._

"_Oh, that's right. I haven't taken you to the library yet, have I?"_

"_A...librawry?"_

"_Yes. It's a place where you learn for free. Unlike the rent, which is not free." she chuckled at her little joke and picked me up. "You want to go?"_

_I nodded enthusiastically._

_While we were there, I could see books from every corner of me, and tall bookshelves that seemed so high they would fall on me. Intimidated by the sight I clung on to my mother's dress, and she smiled at me and ran her smooth fingers through my hair. If only I had told her how much her touch meant to me before she.._

_They were so soft. Her fingers. Sometimes when I went to bed she would sit by my bedside and give me a back massage. Now that she's not here to do that anymore I just.._

_My mind abandons that thought and presents the image of my mom and me in the library. She sits down in one of the narrow isles and pats the floor, telling Riku and I to sit down with her. She slides out a tattered copy of "The Ugly Duckling" and begins to read:_

" _'...Poor little ugly duckling!" she would say. "Why are you different from all the others?'"_

" _'And the ugly duckling felt worse than ever. He secretly wept at night. He felt nobody wanted him.'"_

" _'Nobody loves me! They all tease me! Why am I different from my brothers?'"_

_After she was done, I was relieved that the story had a happy ending. I thought he would never fit in and he would die alone, cold and lonely in the icy pond. My mother stood up and nudged Riku's shoulder, pointing at a child who's mother was coincidentally reading to him. I could only make out his weird spikey hair and his wide eyes, completely hypnotized by the story she was reading. Riku knew who it was, and her cheeks suddenly turned a warm pink. Did she have a crush on this boy? _

_A few minutes of staring obsessively at him passed and she decided to muster up the courage to approach him. I followed her, wanting to take a closer look at the little boy she was so enamored with. Of course it was little 5 year old Daisuke, and his insane mother Emiko, who was predictably reading him "The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow", relishing the expression of terror on her son's face._

_I rolled my eyes in jealousy as Riku timidly stuttered and blushed while she talked to him. _

"_Oh, my little Dai! She sure is pretty! Is this your girlfriend?" Emiko asked._

_Daisuke shook his head feverishly at the sight of me, probably thinking I was offended. I didn't know who he was then, but he seemed to know me. My mother even told me once when I got home from school that "That red-haired boy has followed you home on many occasions."_

_She tapped my head to get my attention. She smiled and showed me "The Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe" and suggested I join her for some poetry. I agreed, and she sat down in the isle we were previously in, and read her favorite poem. _

" _'It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden lived whom you may know, By the name of Annabel Lee..."_

My eyes fluttered open to stare at the bloody floor and the mess of papers I was too afraid to clean up. The letter dad mailed to the house was still where I had dropped it last night. The contents of the letter flooded my brain, and it occurred to me that our living expenses were no longer being payed, so Riku and I had to get jobs. I have no idea where she ran off to. She is probably at Daisuke's house. Damn traitor. No, no, no, I have to stop calling her that. After what I've done to her, I have no right to hate her anymore. If anything, she should..

Great. How can I even show my face outside now? By this time every one knows what I did, since she sped out of the house screaming bloody murder. I can't bear the thought. Outside. All those eyes. Staring at me. Knowing what happened.

"_You did it...You did it..."_

I shake my head and stand up, weakly determined to find employment.

* * *

Maybe someone up there is taking pity on me. Or it could just be coincidence. Either way, that doesn't alter the fact that I am standing in front of the library, staring at a frighteningly convenient "Help Wanted" sign on the window. For the first time since my normal life was destroyed and I was thrown into recurrent phantasma to cope with my loss, something finally looks like it isn't going to crumble down on me. I could get this job. I could help for once, instead of moping in my deserted house, looking for a way out through my by-gone ruminations of my deceased mother. I look up and see a young woman trip over a pile of books she clumsily dropped. Yes, they definitely need help. And I'm going to give it to them. She would've been proud, had she been here.

I approach the counter and say, "Hello, I saw your help wanted sign in the window, and I'm interested in applying."

I look calm and composed on the outside, but I'm panicking and running around in circles on the inside. Did I sound professional? I tried to. I hope the librarian doesn't think I'm weird...or worse: tells me that some one else has taken _my_ job. No, this is mine! I need this more than anyone else! Who ever wants this job better back off!

Unexpectedly, the librarian sighs in relief and ushers me into the nearest isle of bookshelves.

"Hallelujah! We have been waiting for someone to just waltz in here and ask for the job. Little Miyuki over there is having a tough time taking care of things by herself." she points to the girl who dropped the pile of books, who's now putting them in their proper place, looking flushed.

I smile and breathe, actually happy that this job was more within my reach than I thought it was.

"Um..alright, so...what do I do?"

"Well, right now, we need people to put put the books away, that's all. It's a quick and easy job, and you get paid 6.25 an hour. How long can you work?"

I had to restrain myself from jumping in joy at her words. How did I come across such fortune out of nowhere?

I thought for a moment. I could work all day, and earn the rent in no time. But..

"_Don't be a dummy and not go to school, okay?"_

I can't avoid class anymore. That's not what she would've wanted. I'll get to work after school. Her small and warm smile appears in my mind, and I push it away in fear that I'll get sucked up into another memory again.

"After school, all day." I murmured without much thought.

She clapped her hands together. "Great! You'll start tomorrow at 4:00." she looked over to the Miyuki girl and happily exclaimed, "For two weeks we've been waiting for someone to fill in, and finally we have someone."

Miyuki looked up and smiled at me. I didn't understand the librarian. She's in a place where people should be quiet and reserved, and she's yelling over to her. It's almost like..

I give her a confused look behind her back. Miyuki notices it and shrugs, "Hey, that's my sister for ya."

My smile fades and once again the horrifying memory of Riku clawing at the door with her red fingertips makes me shiver with unwanted guilt.

I'm sitting next to my lonely tree again. I'm staring at "S.H." carved into the wood. Why isn't he here? He seemed fine just a few days ago. Was it something I said? Have I spoiled this spot by sitting on it, and now he doesn't want to grace the tree with his presence anymore?

"_You see, every day during lunch I retreat to the back of the school and paint at my tree."_

Well, he went against his word. It's lunch time, the tree is in the back of the school, but no sign of Satoshi. Have I intruded into his space? Maybe he doesn't want me to sit here, and he's hiding somewhere, waiting for me to leave.

No, that can't be right. A few days ago he wanted me to sit with him. He even painted me. I wonder what he did with that painting. Does he just put all his paintings in a corner to collect dust and completely forgets them? That doesn't sound like what an artist would do.

From the corner of my eye, I can see someone's black shoe retreat from around the corner of the building. I gasp in surprise and stand up. Oh no! Someone knew I'm here when I'm not supposed to be! What if that person goes back to the principal and tells them I'm here? I can't be suspended, and I can't have detention! I have work after school, and my attendance already sucks as it is.

Worry is filling every fiber of my being, and I have to hold back the urge to bite my nails. Riku's bloody image comes to mind and I begin to entertain the possibility that it could've been a police officer. Everyone must know by now that Riku and I got into a violent fight that ended in her falling down the steps and breaking her arm. At least she's alive. When I heard that loud crack, my first thought was that she had snapped her neck. Augh! Stop thinking about it! I banish these thoughts and run after the person who mysteriously disappeared around the corner. I open the back doors of the school and peek inside. My heart jumps when I set my eyes on Satoshi, who's solemnly walking down the hall and about to go up the stairs to the 2nd floor, with a brand new canvas in hand. Looking at the canvas, I felt a twinge of pain in me. He didn't paint today. Lunch isn't even over, but he didn't visit his tree like he said he did everyday. Was it because...I was there?

I close the doors and lean against them. Of course he would. How predictable of him. It's always the same with Satoshi. In our relationship...if the few and very short encounters I've had with him can even be considered a relationship at all...he's the one who always walks away. It's like he likes me but he hates me too. He doesn't do that to Daisuke. He practically hangs out with Daisuke all day, with the exception of the lunch period, when he's alone no matter what. Why did he flee from me? I don't threaten him do I?

Wait a minute...what was I doing at the tree anyway? I wasn't actually _waiting_ for him was I? Do I want him near me because he makes me feel pretty? No. He made me feel beautiful. Something that could loosely be called happiness was what I felt when he presented that painting to me. I...like him. He doesn't say hurtful things. He doesn't talk much. But he has his own way of making me feel less alone. It could be that...I haven't had someone to lean on since my mother died. And he sat next to me the whole time, just staying by me...slowly...making me feel better. It hurts to think...that he just walked away from me like that. His lonely form, with the blank canvas tucked underneath his arm...it's all so far from me now.

* * *

It's nice to be away from all the noise. Those whispering voices. Telling me that they all know what happened. Finally, the bell rang, releasing me from that oppressive establishment. Now I can be at peace, organizing books and...

Who's that? Is that Satoshi? He's at the library? Oh no! If he knows I work here, he'll never come back! I have to hide! Okay, okay, don't make noise, Risa, just hide behind something. Wait. Oh, what a relief. He's far away from me. He's about seven isles away, reading a book. I doubt he'll look up and suddenly notice..

What's that? On his face..his eyes look a little darker than they had before. And his cheeks? I rub my eyes and step a little closer to examine his profile. That can't be. Why in the world would he...

His cheek is...bruised. He looks like he's been slapped across the face. Did someone hurt him, or am I just seeing things? I have to be. That's impossible. Who would even attempt to hurt the top police officer in Azumano? He's bagged more criminals than anyone can remember. Of all the crooks in the town jail, half of them were put in there by him..

So, he couldn't have been mugged. Why does his lip look...swollen? Did he get into a brawl with a bank robber of some kind? Well, he is a police officer, so I can't rule out the possibility that some of the people he's caught didn't surrender without a fight. But it still bothers me. Why is he hurt? I want to ask him...but after seeing him walk away from me like that...it just sends me the notion that he wanted to avoid me on purpose. I don't understand what I could've done to him...unless...

Maybe he didn't want me to see him. Yeah, that's it. He probably didn't want me to see his face! Whatever the reason he was beat up, he avoided me because he didn't want to be humiliated! It's all coming together now! But wait...why would he avoid just me? All the students that passed by him would have to be blind not to notice his swollen lip and bruised cheek. Maybe he didn't want to paint today because his injuries put him in a bad mood. Or he could've painted today, but since I was at the tree, he was afraid that if he approached me, I would ask him what happened. He's not a person who likes to elaborate on things. Hmm...what _did_ happen to him? No, no, Risa, you remember what they say: curiosity killed the cat. I need to mind my own business.

But I can't stop staring at him. He seems so restrained. It's like it's painful for him even to flip a page. He grunts in discomfort and accidentally drops his book, holding his chest. Miyuki drops her books and runs up to assist him. I can hear his deep, low voice telling her something like, "No, it's alright", or "It's nothing to worry about". She rubs his back and asks him what I think is "Are you sure?", and his reply is incoherent. I growl in jealousy as I stare at Miyuki running her fingers through his silky blue hair and asking him if he needs anything. Stop touching him! He didn't say you could touch him! Back off!

I clench my fists and shake my head. No! I have work to do! I can't be wasting my time staring at stupid Miyuki touching Satoshi anyway she likes! I don't care! I don't...

Satoshi? Why are you...staring at me like that? How did you know I was here? No! Stop looking at me! Stop it! You weren't supposed to know! Satoshi..

Why are you frowning at me? Why do you look so hurt? Is it something I did? No, no...don't leave. Please! Wait! No, don't go! I didn't mean to...what did I do?

He leaves the library in a rush, jogging down the rainy street with his book. No, it can't be. It is...

It's me. For some reason...whatever it may be...he wants to stay away. He wants to stay away from...me.

At my sweet smelling prison, separated from the world and all who inhabit it, I retreat to my bedroom, hoping I'll find some consolement from my mother's forgotten belongings. I use that pink dress as a blanket now, and the covers on my bed have become useless. I slip out the sea shell that I secretly carry around with me where ever I go. It's still as smooth as it was then, very satisfying evidence that my mother was once here. Though her existence has ended, it's as if she's still living somewhere...where ever she may be. She said she would be with me when I slept, and she didn't lie to me. Her smell is everywhere. She is a fading entity that still exerts her influence on this lonely home. And this small sea shell is proof of that.

_She's sitting on her bed now. I can't read the expression on her face. Why is her lip quivering like that? Why are her eyes closed? And the phone is hanging off it's cradle. She has the sea shell in her hand, close to her heart, sliding her thumb down the surface of it. It's because she won't be able to hold it for very long. The phone has already rung. And the clock is already ticking._

* * *

_2 Weeks Later..._

The wind is blowing. The sun is hidden in the clouds, unlike that day when it was fearless and bright, sending it's rays down and scorching my fragile skin. Mom is not here watching a adorable crab peek it's beady eyes out of it's hiding place, gazing in awe at the beauty that was her. The air was as acrid as it was when my mother was still alive. The smell of salt and the creatures of the deep oasis makes my nose wrinkle in disgust. I never liked that smell when it was too strong. It was better when it was faint, though I can't recall a memory of it ever being mild instead of being very strong. Even the people a few miles from here could tell there was an ocean nearby.

We are strangers now. Riku and I. Everything we used to be is now completely destroyed. Destroyed by me. Yet I'm standing next to her on this beach, barefooted, trying not to remember what I had done to her. But the memory is still very alive. My father is silent. So is the crowd of mourners, all dressed in black. She hated that color. No, my mother was innocent in every way. She did not hate things. She disliked the color black. So why is everyone wearing that color? Everyone's eyes are on me, and I know what they're thinking. There's Risa Harada. She's used to be the most popular girl in her school, but her mother's death turned her into an obsessive recluse. There's Riku Harada. She broke her arm when she fell down the steps. Of course Risa had nothing to do with that. Oh, there's their father, who fled from his two daughters and his home town the moment his wife died.

Now the crowds searching eyes look to my father, who is cradling a jar in his hands as he would an infant. Terror and realization hit me in one powerful blow. He cremated her. No. He couldn't have. No. Why did he do that? He didn't even let us know. Why did he...?

Riku lets out a small gasp and takes baby steps to the jar, sliding her hand down the surface of it, just the way my mother had with her seashell. She looks up to him, pleading, silently pleading, as if saying, "Tell me you didn't do this." His gaze hits her hard, confirming her fear.

Trying to hold back my tears, I clench my fists and said with a broken voice, "You should not have made this decision without us."

His eyes meet mine, filled with fury and rage. How dare he! He burned her! Without our consent! You filthy traitor! Why didn't you tell me! You made this decision without us! You burned her, dammit! It was never your choice!

"Mom didn't want to be cremated." I growled.

He returns my glare. "Your mother wanted to be in the sea. We couldn't just dump her body in the ocean. Don't you know how a sea burial works? We_ had_ to cremate her."

I shook my head in defiance. "_We_ didn't cremate her. _You_ did."

Taken aback by my remark, he snaps back, "Young lady, I cannot tell you in words how upset I am with you right now. And after what you did to your sister, I don't want to hear your voice anymore."

I just stare at him with wide eyes, contemplating if I should say anything further to spite him. But I can't think of anything else to say. Here we are, having a family feud. At her funeral, of all places. I can't believe my life anymore. Everything has gone straight to hell. He cremated her. And he didn't even tell us. He just called us from home and told us to go to the beach. Here I am with Riku, right in the middle of a throng of people who think they knew who my mother was, staring in horrid disbelief at this jar.

He turns his attention to the crowd and and says, "My wife, Aya Harada, was the..."

My consciousness blackens. The image of my father holding the jar of her ashes fades away. My mind is shielding me. It doesn't want to me to hear any of these hurtful words. I think I finally am starting to realize the real purpose of my flashbacks. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. Maybe it kept me from killing myself. Maybe it's the only way I can escape. When I am trapt, this is the only way. In this endless sea of painful memories, this is how I can cope. By drowning myself in them.

_My mother opens "The Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe". I'm small now. We are in this narrow isle, and she is reading to me. Her favorite poem. _

" _It was many and many a year ago,_

_In a kingdom by the sea,_

_That a maiden lived who you may know,_

_By the name of Annabel Lee;_

_And this maiden she lived with no other thought_

_Than to love and be loved by me._

_I was a child and she was a child,_

_In this kingdom by the sea: _

_But we loved with a love that was more than love--_

_I and my Annabel Lee;_

_With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven_

_Coveted her and me._

_And this is the reason that, long ago,_

_In this kingdom by the sea_

_A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling_

_My beautiful Annabel Lee;_

_So that her highborn kinsmen came_

_And bore her away from me,_

_To shut her up in a sepulchre_

_In this kingdom by the sea._

_The angels, not half so happy in heaven, _

_Went envying her and me--_

_Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)_

_That the wind came of the cloud by night, _

_Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee._

_But our love it was stronger by far than the love_

_Of those who were older than we--_

_Of many far wiser than we--_

_And neither the angels in heaven above,_

_Nor the demons down under the sea,_

_Can ever dissever my soul from the soul_

_Of the beautiful Annabel Lee._

_For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams_

_Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;_

_And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes _

_Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;_

_And, so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side_

_Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,_

_In her sepulchre there by the sea--_

_In her tomb by the sounding sea."_

* * *

Just so I don't somehow get in trouble, I'm verifying that this poem belongs solely to Edgar Allan Poe and no one else. Okay, now that that's out of the way, I just had to have a full-length poem in here. And "Annabel Lee" is one of my cherished favorites. I was disappointed that I didn't have enough room for Satoshi's episode, but that will be in the next chapter. I hope I'm not annoying or confusing anyone with all these flashbacks. I didn't want to make this chapter so long, since I'm pretty sure no one appreciates extremely long chapters unless something drastically important is happening and they can't get enough of it.


	4. A Dream Within A Dream

(Risa)

"Risa?"

Dilated eyes.

"Risa?"

Mom, I am different from society. I am the ugly duckling.

"Risa?"

I am caught in this endless sea. And if someone doesn't save me, I will drown in the icy pond.

"Risa..."

Reality shifts. The memory retreats to the back of my mind, hiding. Just hiding. Hiding in the dark closets of my memory's museum.

I look up.

He adjusts his tie. Taking a deep breath, he says softly, "Risa, pooh-bear...please say something about your mother."

I stare at him blankly. What is there to say? That I hate you for calling me here to this hurtful place...a place that stirs a soup of insufferable memories for me to relive time and time again? Here, where my mother once stood with her perfect toes sunken into the sand, brushing the golden glitter off of her thighs. Every perfect feature of her face...burned. Her hazel eyes...scorched. Her silken tresses...singed.

Wordlessly, I slip out the sea shell from my dress pocket and place it in his hand. Then I will myself to speak. "Mom wanted to be buried with this. Please put it in the jar."

His expression was unchanged. But his eyes danced with the fire of hostility. It was then he deliberately knew I was holding up the funeral because I didn't want to say anything about her.

"Risa..." he said very cautiously, slowly, "Please say something about your mother."

I narrow my eyes and smile the fakest smile anyone ever curled their lips into. "Dad...please stop calling me pooh bear. I am not a child."

Riku was seconds from bursting into tears. The lining of her eyes were moist, and the iris of her red orbs were increasing. "Risa, please." she said, her broken voice barely above a whisper.

"Dad, why are you telling people these things like they don't know who she was? And why are you talking like she can hear you? Is it because you know she can't, but you're lying to yourself anyway?"

He gasped and squeezed the bottom of the urn containing my mother's ashes. He was speechless.

"Children lie to themselves." I whisper, averting my eyes to the soft grains of sand sleeping on my feet.

My father bit his lip as the crowd murmured insidiously. They didn't want to intervene. Only watch. Watch with their piercing eyes, and gossip with their poisonous tongues.

"Risa," he gritted his teeth, "Somewhere up there, or wherever she is, Mommy is looking down on you--"

Our gazes meet. "Up there? Daddy, are you implying there is a heaven? Mom isn't somewhere. She died in the hospital bed...and that was the end."

He takes in a breath full of salty sea air, closing his mouth. Though he wants to talk, though he wants to scream, though he wants to shout...a lone tear runs down his fiery cheek...and all he manages to choke out is...

"Good god, Risa." he breathed.

* * *

_This endless white hall. These bright lights above me. The women and men in white. Everything is a white abyss. Death makes a pilgrimage here frequently. All my ears can see is the tears. All my eyes can hear is the sobbing. This is not where I want to be. I should be at home. I should be feeling the soft material of her dress now. I should not be walking down this hall. _

_Panic and terror are dancing in the pit of my stomach. The acid of my insides is flaring and frantic. My heart is a inconsolable drum. My bones are knives caving in on the frightened little girl I am on the inside. My brain is an organ playing a tune of my memory. _

_I look at the small white card the police gave me. Why is the card white?_

"_Azumano General Hospital"..._

_This colorless place stings my eyes. _

"_Your family member/ friend is in room.."_

"_Do you remember that time at the beach where you buried mommy in the sand?"_

_Mom, stop dodging my questions._

"_B-35."_

_My eyes trail all over the walls, looking for directions. Where? I can't be lost. She's got to be nearby. This is so unreal. Dammit, this hospital. Why won't they stop sobbing? Damn nurse, stop looking at me! I'm not crying!_

_I turn around and glare at the unsuspecting nurse until she leaves the hall. I clench my fists and return to my pace. I turn a corner and unsuspectingly find what I was looking for. _

_My pace quickens. My steps ring in my ears. Snoring. Sobbing. The blare of the tv. Doctor's murmuring. Nurses giggling. Wheels squeak against the colorless floor. The receptionist says, "Yes, she'll see you now."_

_Running. _

_B1._

_B2._

_B3._

_Turning down another corner. She must be here somewhere in one of these cloaked off rooms. My eyes are blurry now. I stop in my tracks. My heart skips off of it's monotone beats. B35._

"_I want you to die!!"_

_My dry fingers touch the door knob. My dry, cracked nails scratch against it. I slide my fingertips down the length of the door knob, instantly lost in another flashback. Riku's blood sheathed nails scratch the door knob, only to leave tracks of her paint behind. _

_The door slowly swings open. Four figures materialize before me. She's sitting up. But she's not looking at me. She's looking out the window. The wind blows through the interior, tossing her short hair about. Her clothes are as colorless as this place. _

"_It was windy then. I can feel the wind."_

_She didn't tell me what happened. She wouldn't. She did it on purpose. And now I'm here again. And emptiness is standing next to me. _

_I have no idea why I'm here. They all know anyway. _

_The two men conversed with her, at the time unaware of my presence in this room. Is this a blessing? Is this fortunate that they are ignoring me? Does this mean I can run? Does this mean I can flee from this colorless maze and barricade myself in the sanctuary of my desolate prison? I don't want to go to any other prison but home. I don't want to feel the cold steel around my wrists. And I don't want to rot in a cold room. Please, have mercy on me, though I know I'm undeserving._

_He's glaring at me now. No one seems to notice but me. I stand before them in bewilderment and horror. These men are here to seal my fate. Good God, am I being arrested in front of Dad and Riku? This is unbearably unreal. All my brain is saying to me is run, but my body is defiant. I shiver and my lip quivers, dreading, fearing, dreaming, blinking, screaming a silent scream, despising the moment their eyes leave her. _

_Then that's when I hear it. _

"_I don't know who it was, but they slammed me against the wall and ran outside."_

"_This man must have been very strong. He did a number on your arm." says Dad, just to spite me. His eyes never left mine. Can he see the desperation in me?_

"_Did they take anything?"_

"_I...was too scared to check. When I woke I was in such shock, a-and it hurt so bad I...I just ran," she licked her dry lips, "I just ran."_

_I flinch involuntarily as the policeman's deep set eyes meet my wide ones. "Your sister said she blacked out from the shock, but you were not present at the time. Where were you?"_

_Unable to concentrate, my mind does the only thing it's good for when I'm in a state of panic: it blacks it out with a mental image._

_My hands hurt so much. I want to crush the metal between my fingers. My hand is red and my veins rise from my skin, burning from the fire within myself. He's asking me if I know what time it is._

"_At the park," I absent mindlessly utter, fighting the urge not to cry when I come to a heartbreaking realization. Riku selflessly lied to the police to save me. She lied for me. How can I be important to her when I had done such a thing? My hands tremble and my body sends tremors up and down myself in powerful waves. She saved me. She deceived them._

"_Can you tell us what they looked like?"_

_Riku looks down, pushing a wayward strand of red hair behind her ear. "...Swarthy. A little overweight. They.." she clears her throat, "They were wearing all black. There were two of them, I'm sure. Dark hair, black eyes."_

_I am not swarthy. But she's still describing me. I have two sides of myself. One was the paragon. The other, a faulty mess. I was not wearing black anywhere but in my soul. I hated her. I wanted to push those eyes away from me. She made me remember. So I pushed her away. My eyes were black, filled with my hatred of her. _

_By the look dad is giving me, either he knows what really happened but didn't want me in jail, or he's not buying Riku's lie. _

"_Where they tall or short?"_

"_Medium."_

"_Long hair?"_

"_Short."_

_A few scribbles in the notebook. _

"_Any other injuries?"_

_Riku is still avoiding their eyes. She clenches the white blanket. "I don't know. Other than my arm I...don't know. I don't know what hurts anymore." she murmurs._

_I can sympathize. After mom died, I found out that I didn't know what pain really was at all. To me, pain was falling down on Lucy's glass limb. Pain was scraping my knee when I was seven years old. But the stinging reality is that pain comes from the terror not on the outside, but on the inside. When you realize that there is no one there with you at night, and "up there" is just an ocean of careless clouds. Pain is that sour, recurring realization. She is gone._

_The first police officer makes a sympathetic sigh and grasps Riku's shoulder. "Don't worry, little girl, we'll find the guys who did this to you."_

_The second police officer places his pen and small notebook in his front pocket. "I just don't understand criminals. How old are you girl?"_

"_14." she quickly answers._

"_Aw, see? Just a little girl. Why can't they pick on someone their own size?"_

_Riku made sure her bangs were concealing her eyes as she rolled them in disgust. I know how she feels. They think I'm a child too. But in the end, in this world...that's all we really are. Children lie to themselves. And how have we survived? By holding on to a immortal lie, that life itself is full of promises._

"_Alright, we'll leave you alone. Don't worry, little girl, we'll find them."_

_Little do they know that those two men are standing here, shivering and dead on the inside, but on the outside, a frightened girl. _

_And so they leave. _

_Before I can even think to thank Riku for her selfless act, in one single blow...a firm hand swings by my face. _

_He slapped me. _

_He grabbed me by my arms, shoving me into the wall. And so his fury finds release. _

"_Stop it!" Riku cried._

"_L-let go...of me..." I sobbed, trembling in his iron clasp. His hands were steel on my arms, vowing never to let go. I breathed anxiously, waiting, wanting him to hit me. I want him to hit me. Hit me. His ducts allow transparent tears to run down his cheeks. I'd rather have him come back to his senses after he's beaten all of mine out of me. I'm sick of this place feeling so unreal. _

"_Risa, have you gone insane? Do you realize what you could have done?? What would've happened to you if your sister died?!"_

"_Stop it!" hollered Riku. She sprang up from her bed and attacked dad from behind, futilely attempting to push him off. But her attempts only make him bruise me harder. My arms feel numb and I have difficulty breathing. I cannot speak._

"_Stop it, dad! Her arms are red! You're stopping the blood flow!" she grabbed his arm and clawed at his coarse hairs, and he groaned in discomfort and shoved her off. She tumbled back and stared at him with frantic disbelief. He finally let go of my arms and I dizzily tried to run away, which looked more like me dragging my body against the wall to the door and weeping, clutching my inflamed appendages._

"_You wouldn't be here," he rasped, his hostile features still red from the rage._

_I was so shocked that he struck me that all I could identify him as was a red haze. Riku's body was colorless from the patient garb she was wearing, and only her fiery bob made out a definite shape. The tears were dulling my vision, and no other message was being sent to my consciousness but to flee. _

"_Leave...me alone.." I wept bitterly, shaking my head and feeling the dark strands of my mane shield my profile. What had I become? How could I allow my mother's death destroy me so? How had I let every enjoyable aspect of my existence disappear into a black abyss?_

_I hate myself. Risa Harada is not who I want to be. _

"_You'd be in a cold jail cell, Risa! We could never be a family again if Riku didn't lie to the police!" _

"_Stop it!" Riku helplessly reiterated. _

"_Stop yelling at me!" I hear myself scream, "I hate you! You let mom die!!"_

_I sprint out of the room immediately, crashing into a nurses' cart. She falls back in surprise and I continue my relentless running._

"_Risa!"_

_I would be in a cold jail cell now._

"_Risa!"_

_If Riku hadn't lied._

"_Risa!"_

_Out of her love for me. _

"_Risa..."_

_I would be the ugly ducking in the icy pond. Left to die. _

_Their cries leave my ears as I burst out of the infirmary, determined to run. Just run. Running into the dark closets of my memory's museum._

_(Exeunt)_

* * *

(Satoshi)

My name...is Satoshi Hikari. Some would call me an emotionless recluse who lives all by himself and never opens up to anyone. They were right about my absence of emotion and the fact that I never open up. I _am_ pretty emotionless. I pretend to be that way for a reason. It's not because I am a misanthropist. In fact, I love a few people out there. They don't know it though. They shouldn't, because the reason I pretend to be unfeeling was not to protect myself, but to protect those I love from the wrath of a certain sadistic, so-called "angel". In truth, there's nothing angelic about him, except maybe his wings, which are so prevalent in the mythology that pertains to angels.

I am not entirely reclusive. The sadistic angel I mentioned before lives with me in my apartment. Saying he is just mean is an understatement. He is the most heartless person I've ever met in my life. Whenever I held someone close to me, he threatened to kill them if I continued talking to them. His favorite thing to do is to use my emotions against me. It's what he lives for. It is the essence of his very existence. Thus, I crushed all my feelings so nothing would be precious to me ever again.

This was not an easy task. Daisuke Niwa, the only person who dared to befriend me, had a special place in my icebox of a heart. Risa Harada was another person I secretly held close in my heart. Though I could not fathom as to why I had been so attracted to her, whenever she passed my desk it was difficult not to look back at her.

I remember once, on a snowy evening, she had passed by my house. She was on the way to the grocery store, I assume. For the briefest moment, she peered up at my foggy window, and as I looked back I could see what could have been a smile. Maybe she was just happy she saw me. The thought of her smiling just because she saw me made my heart skip a beat. Ever since then, I had tried to muster up the courage to accompany her. To bask in her magnificence. A pity, a shameful pity, that she had captivated me so effortlessly. I never thought the sunshine of her smile would fade. Then one day, when I glimpsed at her desk, and saw it empty and alone, I knew something was amiss.

One day turned into two, two turned into three, and before I knew it, Risa Harada had vanished from the face of the planet for two weeks straight. For two weeks, I was forced to look at her empty seat. What bothered me the most was that Riku was always present. Though on the second day she entered the class of hushed whispers with dried tears staining her cheeks. It wasn't until later that I learned the class was gossiping about her. Not only about her, but Risa as well, and also an unfortunate event that the teacher labeled "family turmoil".

I found out from one of the big mouthed girls that Risa's mother had died of breast cancer.

I was instantly saddened. Unbeknowest to the Harada's, I stood on their porch, pondering the wisdom of knocking on their door. It seemed that not only Risa's mother had passed, but the house lost it's last traces of life. The interior was blackened, and one lone window was open, allowing the occasional breeze of the spring of April. What had happened to them? The house itself seemed to be occupied by a ghost of some kind, who I speculated to be either Risa or Riku solemnly trudging about the house in a state of melancholy. When I took the risk and peeked in through the dark window, all I could faintly make out into comprehensible objects were the spiral curls of what I assume were dolls of some kind sitting on what appeared to be a rocking chair, and a dusty television.

I heard the stairs creak and I immediately fled out of fear.

I walk the rainy streets of Azumano in a daze at midnight, thinking about Risa's sudden presence in the library. She saw my bruised face. But then again, who didn't? It was my fault. I was stupid enough to just walk in there and read my book. I could feel their eyes burning into my back. I was too weak to read as I was. My arms were so sore from all the cutting I just..

No. Not thinking about that.

Risa's desolate house comes into mind, and I am immediately overtaken by the undeniable impulse to stand at her porch. My legs move on their own accord, taking a left down Midori Ave. and headed straight to her home. It seems my consciousness is arguing with my body in a way. If they were actually having an argument, it'd probably sound like this:

What the hell are you doing?

I don't know. Why do you care?

Because I want to go home, but you're not listening to me.

I can go wherever I want to. I'm sick of you bossing me around.

You have no right to be sick of me bossing you around, because I _am_ your boss. Now go home.

No, I don't want to. I'm going to Risa's house, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Yes, there is something I can do about it. I can nag you until you give in. Now go home or I'll bother you more.

I already told you where I'm going, now shut up.

Hey! I'm the boss of this turf, and you better respect my authority! Risa's going to think you're some kind of stalker if she sees you. Just listen to me and go home!

I have to stand there, I have no choice. She won't leave me alone until I do.

What are you going to do the entire time? Just stand there and stare at her open window? What if she catches you?

I don't know, I'll think of something.

I don't think so, buddy, that's _my_ job.

Hey look, her doorstep!

Dammit, you're so stubborn!

I chuckle to myself and stop the quarreling within my head. How pathetic...I just had to laugh. I step onto her porch and lose myself in her empty, dark, window and my thoughts.

She's been like this since her mother died. I never thought she would allow her life to slip down the drain like this, but it _was_her mother. Kind of makes me glad I never knew mine. From what I heard, she was beautiful, but lonely and reclusive, like Risa. Krad told me that my grandmother wasn't a very nice woman. She kept my mom in the house most of the time. That's about all I know of my family history. I don't even know how my mother died. Krad swore up and down that "I never touched her", but I find that hard to believe. I don't want to think about Krad. He's asleep and he should stay that way.

"Hi...kari..?"

I look down from the window and gape at Risa's hazel eyes from the crack in the open door. Panic struck my heart in one harsh blow, and I dart my eyes at random places, thinking of an excuse, _any_ excuse, as to why I'm standing here with no intention of socializing with her.

"Why are you here Satoshi? Did I miss a homework assignment or...?" she trails off and goes silent again. Her voice...so incredibly frail, like she hasn't spoken in years.

"I..." I begin, clearing my throat, "I was--" then I finally decide to just be honest with her, though it's painful and might cost me in the future, especially with Krad watching, "I was worried about you."

Her eyes widen, then revert to their normal round shape. "You...were worried about me?" she says quickly, unexpectedly slamming the door in my face.

I stand there in shock for a moment, pondering what I did to upset her, but nothing comes to mind. Have I scared her by standing here?

I hear the metal slide off it's slot on the other side of the door, and she opens it again, quickly adjusting her hair. It's...cute. It's cute to see her rubbing the sleep from her eyes and finger combing the knots out of her hair. My heart starts beating faster, and I put my hands behind my back and attempt to smile. I shouldn't be feeling this way. Why in hell did I put myself in this situation? Why did I have to stand here at her doorstep? Curse my senseless actions!

She stares at me for a moment. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she squeaks, gulping, "I-I didn't mean to slam the door in your face like that. I was just...you know..." she lowers her tone, "Unlocking it..."

"I'm terribly sorry if I frightened you." I say calmly, trying not to entice her into thinking that I might have a romantic attachment to her. But though I hate to admit it, standing here at the doorstep sends off a message that I don't approve of.

"No, you didn't. I was just surprised that you're here, is all." she curls her small pink lips into a weak smile, and the image of me kissing her assaults my mind. I banish it the moment it arrived, and try to still my fast-beating heart. Man, I _hate_ myself right now.

"So, um...why...are you worried?"

"I...heard.."

Her face darkens.

"That...something happened.." I continue absentmindedly.

Her eyes glaze, and she looks down and solemnly nods.

"I apologize," I spurt out. "I--"

"No," she says in a hushed tone, "Don't be. I don't like sympathy."

I stand there, feeling like a fool. How dare I bring up such a personal subject out of nowhere? It's bad enough she caught me standing at her doorstep. Now she knows I know where she lives. Everyone knows I live on the other end of town, and now she thinks I walked here to do God knows what...

A thousand thoughts whirl in my head like a tornado. Why am I here? She probably thinks I can't be trusted. What does she think of me? How do I get myself into these situations? Why was it so important for me to stand here and stare at her window? I'll never understand myself. I know I should've listened to my brain..instead of my heart. It's all my fault. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Dammit, I need to end this right now! This will end in catastrophe if I keep pursuing her..

But her eyes..are...glassy. Is she going to cry? Dammit, Hikari, you made a girl cry! How dumb can you be? Why did I have to bring up her mother, of all subjects? I'm sorry, Risa..

"I just.." her voice broke, "I loved her. I love her." She took in a lung full of air as her tears blotted her cheeks.

I stood there speechless, thinking of what would be the wisest way to approach the situation. I've only been conversing with her for two minutes and shes already in tears. Shame fogged my thoughts and guilt drowned my will to act.

I feel an uncomfortable sensation in the beating of my heart, which is usually the primary sign that he's about to drone out my consciousness and use my body for his own twisted ends, whatever they may be. But I know better than I know myself that he would never think twice about harming an innocent, weeping young woman that I had the stupidity to feel sympathy for. Realization and terror stabs my core as I come to the conclusion that sympathy was not the only things I'm feeling for her.

Fearing a upcoming confrontation, my brain tells me to run, but I am broken within myself. I hardly to listen to my brain anymore. My body and my mind are two opposing forces that battle for dominance, each having their share of victories. Luckily, it seems these two forces came to a compromise with one other, and I turn around and walk away from her, hating myself more than I ever have before. But who knows...I could be saving her life.

I'm about to walk out of the front gates when she utters a broken, "Wait."

I obey.

I don't face her, fearing that my eyes are not blue anymore, but a golden color with the iris of a feline. I don't say a word either.

She clears her throat, "Why did you walk away from me?"

I bite my lip and struggle to cope with these unbearable emotions, dreading, believing, knowing that he will take me. Despite my calm composure, my voice is a completely different story.

"I'm sorry Miss Harada, but it is very late. I know I haven't an excuse to be here at your doorstep this time of night, and for that I apologize. But I must be go--"

"No," she says sharply, and I can feel her small feet tapping on the cobble stone walkway as she approaches my back, "I meant at school. You didn't...paint."

"I decided I didn't want to." I say simply, praying she won't ask me to elaborate. I'm still facing away from her.

A moment of silence. Then, "If you don't want me to see your face, then it's alright. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop lying to me."

My breath hitched. How did she know I was lying about not wanting to paint? There's no way in hell she could know about..

"Did you get into a fight?" she asked, resting her warm hand on my shoulder. A long forgotten notion enters my head. _My cheeks are bruised and my lip is swollen_.

My body tenses and and I open my mouth to release a gasp, but I remain soundless. The feeling in the core of me intensifies, and I can hear the faint growl of him within myself. That dreaded fear is about to be realized, and I cannot bear the the thought of the impending consequences. I swing open the gates and leave without answering her question.

A pity, a horrible pity, seeming as I don't usually do mindless things such as what I just did, and my manners are almost always conserved when dealing with anyone. But here I am, walking away from her and her unanswered question. I feel terrible. I silently damn myself a hundred times and ask her forgiveness a hundred more. But how could I answer her knowing I am a perfect example of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? How could I possibly live with myself if I allowed the beast in me to harm the only woman I...

No. This feelings must die. It can't go on this way. This frivolous pursuit of Harada must come to it's end. I'll only end up..

_The mirror is cracked. I am but a cursed child. The mirror is broken. Yet it stands, yielding the image of me...and him. My azure, fine strands frame my small face, and my ocean eyes are wide and filled with terror. He is standing there with me. His wavering gold mane. The glittering gold mirrors that are his eyes. This is who I am. And in the back of my deepest thoughts, my mystified desires and my broken dreams, he is there. And there he will always be. I am Dr. Jekyll. _

_And he is Mr. Hyde. _

* * *

I'm very sorry for taking forever to update. I was in a bout of panic over my other story, the _Life and Death Of Rio Hikari_. Also, for the sake of fulfilling a request by a certain reviewer, I tried not to make this story completely and utterly depressing by inserting a fictitious argument between the brain and the body in Satoshi's episode. It wasn't terribly funny, but I hope it lightened the mood a "tinsy tiny bit".


	5. The Caged Bird

(Risa)

_I thought I heard something. At first I thought it was just my imagination. No one would be at my door at midnight. But..._

_Is there really someone there? No, there couldn't be. Wait. Maybe I should just open the door to see. Just to see. I highly doubt anyone would be there, but just to check..._

"_Hi..kari?"_

_His surprised eyes meet mine, and I ask him, "What are you doing here Satoshi? Did I miss a homework assignment or..?"_

"_I...I was...worried about you."_

_I stare blankly for a moment. _

_Did he just say he was worried about me? That couldn't be. I must have heard him wrong. Satoshi isn't the type to worry about the welfare of anyone, except maybe Daisuke, since they're such close friends. But why would he worry about me? I barely speak to him. The last time we spoke was the time at that tree.._

"_I heard.."_

_My mind goes blank. _

"_That something happened.."_

_News of her death spread around the school like the plague. Now even he knows. _

"_I'm sorry Miss Harada, but it is very late. I know I haven't an excuse to be here at your doorstep this time of night, and for that I apologize."_

_You don't mean to tell me that you just stood here at my doorstep for the sake of just standing here?_

I had trouble sleeping. I couldn't think of anything but his face. His beautiful face. His deep eyes. His thin, azure locks. Painted as a perfect picture in my mind. What a unexpected surprise. To find him there. And to think..he was there. Out of all the porches in Azumano..he was standing before mine.

But why did he have to walk away? I didn't mean to bring up his bruised face and his swollen lip..I didn't mean to embarrass him or anything..

Satoshi..why did you leave me?

Just like you avoided me at school. I wish he would just tell me what I did wrong..

_He finally decides to let go. I asked him if we could just take her home. But of course he said no. She wanted the sea. She wanted to be in the sea. My eyes are so blurry and I'm so weak. Riku was weak, too. Now she is really leaving forever. I will never hear the clank of the dishes in the morning. I will never hear the sizzle of pancakes and bacon on the frying pan in the morning. I will never see her small smile. She will never braid my hair again. Nor will she sleep in my bed with me when I'm afraid of some fictitious monster. _

_He gasps and bursts into tears, hugging it so tightly I fear he might crush it. Then he wills himself to let it go. He tosses the urn into the sea. Riku and I watch her sink into the watery depths until she is not visible anymore. She has her arms spread open, waiting to be embraced. She has her perfect lips curved into the perfect smile, but we will not return it. And so she sinks. Transcending until we cannot see her anymore. In her tomb by the sounding sea. _

"_Riku, Risa.."_

"_I just love you so much."_

_The light leaves her._

_Never._

_Never again. _

My body prepares itself. My brain sends the message, waking every other organ of my body from it's slumber. It seems that only my heart is lagging behind, never forgetting what broke it.

The sun's rays sting my eyelids, and I can only see a blinding light. When they flutter open, the orange orb is slowly flying into it's rightful position, high into the magenta firmament. The earth is very much alive when I am dead inside. This contrast irks me. I used to be lively. I was as bright as the mighty star itself.

I lazily roll over and catch a glimpse of Riku's red bob protruding from her blanket. Guilt drops into my stomach and simmers my acids, and I feel ill again. Seeing her fingers curled around her cast worsens the effect, and I have to look away. _That is what I've done. That is what I've done to her. _

I'm glad we have our own beds. When were inseparable children bound by the sanctity of our mother's presence, we always slept in unison. Mom loved when we were together. She always called us the "little rugrats" or "two peas in a pod" and her "little kittens". So for the sake of pleasing the only woman who had given our lives purpose, we were always together. We made the transition from fighting for our mother's attention individually, to being partners in crime. Though we had very different mentalities and views on life, we would find someway to work it out. But is there anyway to get around what I've done?

Maybe it's better if she never sleeps near me again..

_She tumbles down the steps and I hear an echoing crack. The ripped skin reveals a white surface. _

I groan and hide myself in my warm covers, clutching my mother's dress and desperately trying to ban the upsetting imagery. I hear Riku stir, and I'm immediately glad I hid myself before she woke. I stiffen and strain my ears to hear her get up off her bed and leave the room.

I haven't talked to Dad or Riku since I ran out of the hospital, and every time I think about the things I've done, I break. And he's in the bedroom all alone. Mom isn't sleeping next to him. She isn't running her smooth fingers through his course hair and saying, "Wake up, sleepy head, time for a new day."

She will never see the light of a new day.

* * *

I feel..so numb. My fingers are shaking so violently I cannot feel them anymore. My body trembles freely. So eager. So fearful. So impatient.

I didn't see her at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of Cheerios or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. She left before I could sum up the courage to approach her.

_She's afraid of me._

I know she must be here somewhere. She's in the class I should be in right now. She shares all my classes. We arranged our schedules like that at the beginning of the school year, so we would always be together. We knew there wasn't much time left. We couldn't separate when she was laying in the hospital bed, praying to the deaf ears of an indifferent being.

Maybe she knew everything was going to shatter after she departed, so she emphasized the importance of being sisters. But her prayers were as soundless as her broken voice. Look at who we are now. We are strangers. Riku and I.

And I can't remember where I am supposed to be right now. I haven't attended class much lately..

I need to find her. I have to beg for forgiveness with all the breath in my lungs. I cannot live with myself any longer if I don't.

Maybe I can turn down that hallway and leave altogether..

No! I need to keep walking straight. I'm near her classroom. I'm so close. So close. Alright, Risa, you know the drill. Just apologize. Even if she walks away, even if she says something vulgar, just say your sorry.

I can't live with myself any longer if I don't apologize. What she did for me was out of the purest love. What she did was selfless. She could've turned me in to the cops. She could've destroyed me. And yet, in her lengthless mercy, she spared me. It is not she who is the traitor, but I.

Her fractured arm haunts me. How could I do that? How could Risa Harada, the paragon of Azumano Middle School, the envy of every girl in town, stoop to such a level? What I did defies the lowest caliber. It deserves punishment, yet the criminal is not being condemned for her crimes. I was set free.

Riku...I'm sorry.

The door opens.

I stare into the classroom.

No Riku.

Every other accusing profile. The confused teacher. The writings on the board. But no Riku.

I close the door. Strange. She isn't here. Why wouldn't she be? Where could she be? I sprint down the hall, having decided that I must look for her, regardless of the fact that I have no idea where I'm going. God forbid she's doing something she shouldn't or in a place where she shouldn't be.

"Hey, Risa!"

I cease my sprinting and whip around to face him.

"_I'm...part of Daisuke.._"

His other half.

Daisuke Niwa stands amid me, his stare gazing into my auburn mirrors. Anger flares inside me, and I refute it with the notion that I no longer have the right to hate, as I have acted upon it and shunned my innocent sister. Though it's painful, and the hate I bear for him is overwhelming for shielding me from Riku, this has to end. I have to stop lingering in this black abyss of misanthropy.

"Hello, Daisuke." I manage.

How I have changed. I used to be so familiar with him. His face was as normal as the sky itself. I was accustomed to referring to him by the childish name "Dai". Now we are so detached I have to call him by his whole name.

He scratches his head, "If you're looking for Riku..she's been suspended..and uh...I was wondering.."

I choked. "Suspended?!"

Daisuke bit his lip. "Yeah...she got into a fight with another girl."

I slowly approach him. "A fight? Why on earth..?" I utter breathlessly.

Riku? In a fight? Riku has never been violent with anyone except me. And that's only because we're sisters and we know each other as well as we know ourselves. Please don't tell me she's walking down a road of self destruction just like me..

"Well, let's say the girl brought up something she shouldn't have, and..well.." he held out his palm and punched it with his other hand. "Got pretty bad.." he murmured.

Saying I'm disheartened is an gross understatement. Mom would be dismayed. She would be crying in her grave! Riku knows how to restrain herself way better than I ever did, and now I'm struggling to believe she's actually been suspended..

Good God, what did I do to her? I know somehow this whole mess leads right up to me. Why had I dealt with her so violently that day? She didn't deserve a single word I said to her..and she didn't deserve all the agony I inflicted on her.

"Risa?"

I become aware that I've been staring into space for a whole minute, and my cheeks flush. "Oh, I-I'm sorry...I just drifted off a little there.."

Daisuke forced a fake chuckle from his mouth, "Yeah, you were pretty spaced out."

I folded my hands together and cleared my throat. "Well, I really have to go.."

"Why?" his eyes were searching mine for an answer. But I found it hard to speak. It's been so long since I had a conversation with Daisuke. But I can't just tell him I want to leave because I feel awkward talking to him.

Fortunately, I think up a quick excuse, "Lunch is coming up soon. I don't eat in the cafeteria."

"You don't eat at all. That's not healthy, Risa." he points out, "Have you seen yourself lately? You've changed."

His words are making me queasy. Yes, I know all too well I have changed. My hair is knotted and neglected, when I always had it in a very sleek, smooth form. My eyes are sunken and weary, and my lips are chapped. My nails are malnourished and cracked. I haven't been taking care of myself at all. I am aware of it, so why does he need to point it out? He needs to stop this humiliating interrogation session of his. I don't have to explain every single motive for what I do. Why can't he just leave me alone?

Before I can censor myself, I blurt out, "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

He started.

I wanted to gasp, but held the urge with difficulty. Perfect. I've hardly the power to control what comes out of my own mouth anymore! Despicable! When I was a model of excellence, I never said anything I regretted. Now, if it were somehow possible, I would take back anything and everything I've ever done to myself and those around me. But the impossibility of it all irritates and irks me to no end. Why can't I just reverse time and take back what I said to him?

"Risa, can I talk to you somewhere...private..just for a few minutes?"

My heart was beating madly, threatening to break free of my chest, and my mouth suddenly ran dry. The first initial thought was that he wanted to talk about Riku's "accident", and thinking of him bringing it up terrified me. I knew she must have told him somewhere along the line, it was simply inevitable. She's not one to keep secrets. Especially about something so dire and serious. But despite these frightening possibilities, he could want to discuss something important, something that needs my immediate attention. I only wish I could quell the fear inside.

"Oh, alright.." I reluctantly oblige.

We sit on a bench in the desolate locker room. Gym classes usually commence around the afternoon, and it's 8:23. At least we don't have to worry about pesky teachers or school administrators.

He takes a moment or two to collect himself, and says, "I saw you in the park...a few weeks ago."

A jolt of surprise stings my senses and my brain is flooded by a vast influx of images from the past. The purple sky. The suspended chains. The warm bench. My wristwatch. 4:09 am. Emptiness sitting on the swing.

"How did you..?" Not recalling all of the memories, at first I was confused. I had completely forgotten about him. Dark.

"I-I mean...Dark..saw you there."

_"You should be with your family. At home. Do you have any idea what time it is?"_

_"Do you know what time it is?" I ask, though knowing the answer. I know how late it is. But you're not making me go home. I won't go home. You won't do this to me. I'm not coming home._

_"It's four in the morning, Risa." he says. "You should be asleep."_

_"I was asleep."_

_"Where? On the swing?"_

_"No. The bench."_

_"The ben...you don't mean to tell me that...you actually slept in the park?"_

I nod.

"Please look at me, Risa." he said softly, grasping my chin and turning my face to his. Our gazes meet.

"What are you trying to say that Dark hasn't already said? That you're sorry?"

"No, I wanted to tell you something else."

"What?"

He looks away from me, though still expecting my gaze to stay on him.

"I've been so worried about you, Risa. You've changed so much, I can't sleep at night.."

He runs his fingers through his spikey red mane. "I've been meaning to tell you this, but it never seemed appropriate to revisit the subject anymore." he began.

I nod slowly. "Yes, Daisuke?"

A blush appeared upon his cheeks. He narrowed his eyes and murmured, "I've loved you for a long time. I've been in love with you since I was 5 years old."

My heart skips a beat and I involuntarily shiver. What had come over him? Just when I was sure he was going to bring Dark into the conversation, he completely abandons that thought and decides to profess his love for me? I've already rejected him once. Do I have to painfully reject him again?

"Wh..what?" I stutter, trying to stop trembling. He had caught me off guard. He's loved me since he was 5 years old?

_A much smaller form of Daisuke gapes at me with his huge, ruby eyes. Am I beautiful to him? _

"_Oh, little Dai, she's so pretty! Is this your girlfriend?"_

Then again, my mother once told me that he had followed me home on "many occasions".

"_I'm sorry, Daisuke..I just don't think of you that way.." _

"I'm sorry," he says, averting his gaze to the floor, "I didn't mean to.." he trailed off.

"No. It's fine," I lied, "I just..don't know what to say." I thought for a moment. "I didn't mean to reject you like I did. I was a heartless person back then..and I'm so happy that you've found love with Riku."

His flush intensifies, and he takes sudden interest in his shoes.

"But I don't understand. You're with Riku." I reasoned. "You're with her all the time. How can you still love me?"

"Yes, I do love Riku." He folded his hands together. "I love her very much. But that doesn't mean..I completely abandoned my feelings..for you."

Walking home now. Even though I'm far away from Daisuke, my conscience is blurry and being assaulted by insecurity. I know I have to tell Riku I'm sorry, but do I have to tell her what Daisuke told me earlier? No. I can't. That would render my apology useless. Why would I beg for her forgiveness, only to upset her again with Daisuke's secret feelings for her twin sister? This is terrible. He just hampered and disorganized my thinking, and now I'm losing my will to confront Riku.

I fling open the door to my home. But much to my surprise, I am met only by darkness. I take in the pungent scent of smoke and exhale. This is not what mom used to smell like. Where ever this smoke is coming from, it's killing her. It's choking the last essence of her. It's suffocating her in a cloud of black.

I peer over into the living room, fanning off smoke with my hand. I coughed.

The rocking chair is creaking. Porcelain dolls are strewn about the floor. He is rocking back and forth, as if trying to calm himself. The acrid smell is coming from his cigarette. The ashes fall unto his lap and there the embers die. From my fogged vision, he is a weeping phantom in my home, clutching Lucy tightly as he did the urn. His shadow leaves a fading ghost lying on the floor.

He slowly turned to me and said, "I don't like what's happening. I don't."

A broken bottle rests near his feet. He nudges it, causing the glass to scrape the floor. Catherine's curly tendrils are drowned in his beer. I gape at the various broken appendages on the floor, and the only thing I manage to utter in my shock is: "What do you mean? Where's Riku?"

"You know she was suspended? Yeah." he nods to himself, blinking away his tears. "That never happened before. She's turning out like you."

I realize he is intoxicated, and my mind is clouded with fear. I just..have to get away. I have to go.

And I leave without another word to him.

I slide the books in their proper place, feeling useless and shaken. My father was deteriorating, suffering in that gloomy atmosphere of smoke, and I did nothing. Then I became angry. He destroyed everything. The only one who survived his wrath was Lucy, and I left her there in the cold and rigid hands of that beast. She must hate me. It was one thing to break her leg, and now I abandon her? What would Riku do if she found out Dad had demolished our lifeless sisters in a bout of drunken melancholy? And now I can't smell that painfully sweet smell of her in my own home.

I stare at the isles beyond me. My thoughts transfer to Satoshi. I hate him for walking away from me. I hate him for leaving me there with my unanswered question. How rude!

His bruises are becoming agitating to me. I want to know why his lip was swollen. I want to know why his cheeks were discolored. I want to bond with him more, and hopefully I'll claim his interest. I could really use a friend..

"_...the greatest work of art.."_

Maybe even more than that.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Satoshi)

_5 hours ago_

I can't believe my ears. This did not just happen.

"_My feelings..for you.."_

Daisuke still has feelings for Risa?

Is Daisuke and Risa in the locker room, _confessing_ to each other?

No, Satoshi, don't jump to conclusions. I just came here a few seconds ago and caught them. No, don't say caught. That makes them sound like they're criminals..

Why am I spying on them like this? The bell is about to ring. Lunch time is coming soon. Why in the world am I concerned with this at all? Damn it all! Curse these stupid emotions! I can't stand them! Why must I be tormented by these..feelings for her?

One smile. One smile was all it took. How had I allowed her to capture my heart so effortlessly?

I walk away, hating just for the sake of hating. I can leave them to their little charade and paint something. I could paint a searing fire from the pits of hell to promote my fury. I could paint a rippling black puddle to promote my jealousy.

Such a peculiar creature I am. Outwardly, I'm not even human. Inwardly, my feelings are climbing high up into the mountains, screaming for release and never getting their wish. But when I am around her..

I completely lose my sense of self. I question my actions, I reprimand myself. I get nervous, and I want to walk away and stay at the same time. Is this what it feels like? To be in love?

But I can't expect Risa to take the news lightly. How would she react if she knew the monster inside me?

Chaos, to put it simply.

I don't understand myself. I shouldn't be jealous at all. Why am I even admitting I'm jealous, even in the safety of my own mind?

"_I've loved you since I was 5 years old.."_

I shouldn't have followed her. I shouldn't have told Daisuke that Risa peered into our classroom. I shouldn't have lied to the teacher and said that I had to go to the restroom. It would have been better if I had just stayed where I was.

The bell rings.

I paint at my tree in silence.

In a constant battle with my feelings and my consciousness, I struggle to hold back my misery. My hands tremble as I hold the brush and I can barely make a clean stroke. What had come over me? Why am I so angry at Daisuke? I knew he loved her a while back..

But when he just confided that he was still in love with her it just..

Augh. I don't need to be thinking about this! What happened between Niwa and Harada shouldn't concern me at all.

But it does, and it's proving to be very bothersome.

I'm now staring at a multitude of animals on display in front of a pet store near my home. Some kittens frolic about with their brothers and sisters. Puppies tackle each other, nibbling on their ears. Crickets chirp, and hamsters and mice scamper past each other in their little homes. My eyes trail all over the store until..

One lone bird catches my eye. His body is a brilliant green, and his wings are blotched different hues of white and blue. He preens himself, then looks right at me.

The colorful bird remains silent and looks away from me, drooping it's little head down and staring at the bottom of his lonely home. He sits solemnly on his perch while all the other animals make a variety of noises.

My cage is my own personal angel. A parasitic seraph of light. I am the bird. And my obscure emotions are my perch.

_I'm trapped._

An all too familiar voice rings out and startles me. _"Oh, how amusing it is to hear you torture yourself with such clever metaphors. You really are quite poetic, Satoshi-sama," _he snickers.

I groan and leave.

Now I am walking the desolate and caliginous abode of the Azumano museum, basking in the welcoming darkness. I almost feel at home. How I would love to fall asleep here. So soundless. So calm. Such a lovely chasm of archaic masterpieces. I would love to live here, seeming as it's so lonely at night, and I can sink into my thoughts and fantasize about my out-of-reach desires.

But sometimes this place is disturbed by a rather uninvited thief roaming it's walls, where he clearly does not belong. And I would usually be hiding behind some shadowed pillar, waiting to strike like the perfect predator I am. He certainly enjoys our little games of cat and mouse, as it is enjoyable to me. But the ending of our little game is quite irksome, as he flies off into the vast legion of stars, leaving me here alone.

But is that so horrible? I'm better off alone anyway. I can't hurt anyone, much less myself, at least physically speaking, if I don't socialize with others.

I walk down a lengthy corridor, taking a turn and stopping at a closed off section of the museum. The 3 story high double doors dwarf me, forcing me to stare in awe at their gargantuan stature. I slip out the keys from my back pocket and swiftly unlock them. The doors creak open, revealing to me another blackened interior only lit by an adjacent pair of elongated windows. The moonlight leaves it's ghost on the dusty marble floor, lighting the display case bearing my prize. I approach it calmly, simply adoring the sight of it. On the satin pillow rests a beautiful Hikari art piece. Perhaps more magnificent than it's appearance is it's powers.

The necklace's cord bore crystals, and the pendant was a golden angel wing embedded with diamonds at it's edges. It glimmered in the moonlight, sending off it's own luminescence.

The "White Wings Lament", a very useful piece to an Hikari male. Legend has it my own mother once possessed it, and it was given to her by my grandfather, Hideki Hikari, who died soon after.

I only hope it will assist me tonight. What I'm pursuing is dangerous, but just once. If only once..

I want to be with her.

I punch in the 10 digit code to deactivate the security system and the monitor. In seconds, the lock clicks and the door to the display case swings open. I snatch the necklace and place it in a earring case. I close the glass slide and walk out with my new possession.

Hours later, I lazily lay on my cold bed, thinking of nothing in particular at the moment. Then the memory hits me: I stole the necklace. I get up and retrieve it from my back pocket. I flip open the lid and stare at the gold pendant. I sigh.

Hope this works.

I put on the necklace, adjust the wing, and look at myself in the mirror on the wall. I'm baffled. I can only see myself, not a reflection of Krad. Since I was an infant, I would always see Krad standing behind me whenever I looked into a mirror. But now I only see me. Why is that so? Are the powers taking effect?

Well, I guess the only way to find out is to get him to wake up.

I conjure up a thought that will certainly stir him:

_She is unclothed. She wraps her arms around me, taking me into her mouth. Her bare bosom presses against my chest, and her breathing escalates. Caught in her tight embrace, our bodies collided in perfect matrimony. We moved against each other, exchanging our cries. All I knew was this internal fire, these flitting butterflies, and the warm depth of her. I kissed her moist lips, savoring her taste. The world was non-existent, and every broken mirror, every bleeding gash and muffled sob was demolished by this wonderful trembling sensation. _

I hear a hoarse cry brake the boundaries of my fantasy, and he emerges in a bout of anger.

"_How dare you assault my consciousness and wake me from my slumber with such lucid notions!"_ he roared.

"Good, your awake."

"_Why have you summoned me?"_ he put his hands at his hips and bore into my nonchalant eyes.

"I want you to take over my body."

He started. He arched a brow and opened his mouth to say something, but found he could not reply immediately. With that one simple sentence, I had left him confused and speechless. His hands slid down his hips and rested at his sides limply. He studied me for the longest time, looking for an answer in my expression. But he found nothing.

Krad took a few more seconds to gape at me and finally answered, _"Exactly what are your intentions?"_

"Simply what I asked." I reply tranquilly.

He is again stuck in a fog of wonderment, pondering why I would want him to do such a thing. He knows very well that any other time I fight his will for dominance any way I can. I can tell by the look on his profile that he thinks I have gone lucid. Cautiously, he murmurs, _"I don't know what you're trying to do, but whatever it is, it better end soon. I did not wake just for you to toy with me."_

"I'm not toying with you."

He still doesn't trust me. He is aware I'm up to something. But surprisingly, he's too tired to pursue the reason, and slowly says, _"Satoshi-sama, you are obviously in need of rest. I suggest you sleep. I can't remember the last time you even touched this bed. The lack of sleep must have caused you to lose your mind somehow."_

He shakes his head and and walks down an imaginary road to the back of my mind, where his bed chambers await.

Not satisfied with his reaction, I decide I must take a different approach. A rather perilous one at that.

* * *

Is there anything I might have missed? Any suggestions? By the way, I really appreciate everyone's thoughts on the story. When I was writing this, I was convinced no one would like it. I didn't think angsty stories were well liked here, but I'm glad to find out I was wrong. Thanks for reading!


	6. A Hand To Hold

(Satoshi)

I'm staring at the mirror. He is absent.

The rain taps on my window pane as I lay on my bed, clad in my soggy school uniform. To my side, a mirror. And in the reflection, only me. Only me.

He is absent.

My home still smells of paint and musk. There are canvases and abused brushes scattered around the floor, along with shattered glass, and dried blood stains from my "mutilation episodes". Wrinkled school shirts hang off of my bedside. Pants are carelessly thrown in the closet. There are a few broken mirrors in the corner of the room, and a puddle is gathering near my open window. In short, my room looks like the playground of a mentally disturbed child.

I sigh and stare blankly at the product of my by gone misery, etched in different lengths across the underside of my arm. I haven't a reason for this bizarre impulse of mine. The pills never worked. Maybe I thought that seeing myself bleed would.

I had taken medication to keep him down before. Of course it didn't work. Drugs were nothing against this supreme entity inside. He's much stronger than a drug. More powerful than a disorder. More deadly than a disease. My own personal cancer.

His golden eyes are unsheathed and roam the conscious thoughts I'm entertaining, looking for one that will interest him. He opens a door of my memory, and when he looks inside the interior, he sees me hidden in the silhouetted shadows of the night, staring hungrily at the object of his demise.

His eyes widen in a feline-like manner, fires blazing in the pit of them.

He chuckled dangerously. _"Satoshi-sama, have you gone mad? It's not like you to be so reckless."_

"I'm not being reckless, Krad," I replied tersely.

"_We shall see."_ He grits his teeth and stares me down in malice.

"Yes, we will."

"_Be vigilant. My previous tamer had used this on me before, but it has a flaw."_

"None that I know of, Krad. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to scare me. It's not working."

A flaw? Nonsense. What child's play, to think of deceiving me in this manner! I know everything about this piece. I have every advantage. Why in the world would they call it the "White Wing's Lament" if this is not true?

I present the necklace to him by swinging it past my face like a pendulum. He gasps.

"_You...you stole the "White Wing's Lament"?"_ he cried, disbelieving.

"That I did, my precious angel. And now you are the one who is helpless." I said triumphantly, loving this moment, loving his fury.

He is helpless. Just as I once was.

"_No!"_ He roared. _"No! No! No! No!!" _

He shook the imaginary gates of my mind, trapped behind them. He broke, he stomped, he threw his childish temper tantrum. He destroyed the decayed walls of my memory, throwing vague bricks of past thoughts over the dark cloud he was concealed in. I left him there, alone and encased in his rage. I didn't care. Now he is caught in his own cage.

And there he will stay.

"Why so angry?" I teased. "You sleep peacefully here every night, do you not?"

"_Satoshi!! You treacherous brat!! How dare you betray your other half!!"_

"I have no doubt that you'll have a lot of fun trying to get out of my body tonight." I laughed cruelly at his misfortune, as he had once laughed at mine. I got up off my bed and nonchalantly walked to the door.

I haven't tears enough for what he's done to me. He destroyed my childhood, shunned anyone I foolishly dared to love, and berated me ceaselessly. Now it is he who is the sufferer. I wore the first true smile on my face.

As for Krad, he wept.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Risa)

The moon is a spherical ghost in the night sky. Rain is pouring down on my weary head, and if I don't move fast enough, sleep might overtake me and I'll collapse on these damp streets. I'm carrying a broken heart, a foggy mind and an envelope in my wet pocket. What was once weightless is now crushing me. I just want to fall on my bed and get lost in the smell of her.

At least I have money now. God knows if Riku got a job and Dad is too intoxicated and grief-stricken to pay the bills. I stumble upon my doorstep, cursing under my breath and clutching a slippery silver key in my cold, numb hands. I insert it in the lock, and the clicking sound puts me at ease. Sanctuary.

I slowly open the door, trying not to disturb a sleeping Riku or a slumbering Dad. This house. So dead without you.

A hazy figure materializes in front of me. I attempt to blink away the defiant image from me, thinking that my mind is so worn out it's beginning to make me delirious. I shake my head, and suddenly everything seems so slow. Every time a rain drop hits the ground, it shakes the earth. I feel dizzy and lightheaded. I grab the railing and try to maneuver myself up the stairs, but a wet body clutches me from behind and holds me tight in place. I stiffen and slowly turn around to face her.

She smiles at me, her moist lips looking like a blue worm. She is frighteningly pale, and her brown eyes are extremely dilated. The light had never come back. She's dripping wet, clad in the pink dress she wore at our Aunt's wedding. Her hair is covered in seaweed and her breasts and arms are blanketed in sand. She smells like the salt of the sea and the creatures who sleep within it's dark waters. Settling her wet face in the crook of my neck, she utters, _"Wake up, sleepy head.."_

The rain drops are falling drums, and my head is throbbing out of control. I know she's not real. She was burned. She didn't come back here. She's not hugging me now.

"N-no..." I protested wearily, "You're not real.."

She sinks into my clothes and I fall onto the steps and hit my jaw on the bottom of a stair. I whimper and rub my sore jaw, squinting in pain. I must have slipped. I groan and struggle to stand, hating myself for being in such a lethargic state. My half-lidded eyes widen as I set my sight on my father laying on the couch.

The rocking chair is turned over and there is a yellow liquid all over the floor, which I assume is beer. The porcelain dolls are laying face down in the puddle, their broken arms and legs stretched out around themselves. The light in the room is dim and the hood of the lamp is out of place.

Upon further inspection, I see my father fast asleep, wearing the deep set frown I first encountered him with. His nostrils release the foul-smelling scents of beer and cigar smoke.

I step back, holding my nose and fanning off the stench. At the other end of the couch is Lucy, her frilly pink dress stained with beer and laying on her side. She doesn't have any broken appendages, and I sigh in relief. She's safe, blankly staring at my father's feet.

He annihilated all her sisters and she was the only one left unharmed. What a shame. I glimpse at the floor and my stomach churns as I realize that most of them are damaged beyond repair.

Look at all these innocent little girls, torn and in pieces on the floor. What a sad beast he is. He lost himself, and now lifeless is the definition of his life.

I swallow hard, fearing that this could be the first step in the transition from a happy father to a raging alcoholic.

I kneel down and lightly slap his cheek. He doesn't budge. I nudge his shoulder, whispering, "Wake up..wake up..." After some thought I said, "Sleepy head..."

His face contorted and his eyes fluttered open in an instant. His orbs are glassy and unfocused, cloudy and drowned in his tears. The fluid ran down his heated cheeks slowly like melted wax. Apparently he had held them in captivity for quite some time. Theres so many of them..

He immediately grasps my hands, squeezing them tightly. I pull from his grip, but he refuses to let me go. He lifts my hands up to his nose, imbibing my scent. "Aya..is that you...?" he slurred.

My heart was impaled by shock and dismay. He's just as delirious and out of his mind as I am.

I grab him by his shoulders, hoisting him up and reiterating the command to get up on his feet. He clenches my arms the way he did in the infirmary, taking me back to his forgotten fury. He is not angry now, but he's having a hell of a lot of trouble standing up. I groan and help him to his feet after a few agonizing minutes of reiterating the command to stand up. He still needs me for support; he's still a bit unsteady.

Unexpectedly he brakes out into loud sobs, raking at his face and moaning in anguish.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

What a silly question, Risa.

"God, why did you take her away from me? I never did anything to you..." he wailed.

"Dad..?" He falls, taking me with him. We splash into a yellow puddle, stirring the shattered fragments of glass floating around us. He rests limply on me, quietly sobbing and shaking.

"Risa? Are you there?" He feels around my shoulders. His gaze is vague and his irises seemed to have shrunk. He looks like a blind man who dropped his glasses. "Riku, are you home?"

"No, it's Risa. Dad, get up," I pushed him off of me, and he put all of his weight on me just to sustain his posture.

Now that he is standing again, I sigh in relief, "If you fall again, I'm leaving you here." I growled.

He didn't reply. He concentrated his narrow, blank eyes on my feet, sniffing and letting his tears join the yellow puddle underneath us.

We drag ourselves up the steps like two inexperienced infants learning to walk. He's so drunk he can barely move his legs. "Please...tell her to come back..." he cried.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and leaned onto my back, forcing me to halt. I don't have to carry him now do I?

He breathes unto my neck and slurs, "I didn't mean it..I didn't...I got mad and...she fought with that girl.."

He must be referring to Riku's suspension. Did he brake the porcelain dolls in a drunken fit? Did he harm Riku like he did to me in the hospital, squeezing her arms so hard he stops the circulation?

"Come on, Dad, we're almost there.." I grunted and forced myself to move his massive weight up the stair case.

"But I didn't brake Lucy, because I know.." he burped, "Because I know she's her favorite.."

He begins to use his legs, much to my relief, and I usher him on. "Keep going, Dad. Good, you're doing good..keep moving.."

"She's cold and alone, Aya," he sobbed.

I somehow managed to get him on his bed. Sighing, I prepared for my next task. I dug my fingers under him and pushed him to the middle of the bed so he wouldn't roll over and fall. I sat down on the edge of the bedside and put my hand to his forehead. He was sweaty and smelly, but he didn't have a fever. I wiped the sweat off of my hands with my soggy jacket and shook them to get the remaining moisture off.

"Ugh, Dad.." I groaned in disgust, rolling my eyes. What a lost soul he turned out to be.

"All alone.." he wept, "Oh God, Aya..." he shifted his head back and forth, praying for his dead wife to come back to him.

I stared at him with sympathy, loathing that he persisted in calling me by my mother's name. It seems he's taking it worse than Riku or I did.

"You have to find her," he grabbed my skirt and tugged at it.

I gasped. "Wait a minute..Riku's not here?"

Worry and alarm settled into the pit of my stomach. Not requiring an answer from him, I turned around to leave, but his grip on my skirt was strong for a drunkard.

"I have to go, Dad." I protested.

"No, Aya, don't go. Stay here with me!"

"I'll find her." I said, focusing my attention on the door.

"Have a long talk with Risa...she's not herself.." he muttered, closing his hooded eyes. He opens them again and sniffs, commencing his crying. Some random memory of her must have upset him, because he started to wail louder than he had before.

I scoffed and ripped my skirt from his grip, running downstairs and slamming the door behind me. I had left him moaning and crying out for me. The pitiful man..

Out of the house again and still as tired as I was when I left the library, I clicked my tongue and slammed my foot on the cobble stone floor. Riku's still not home? Did she go to Daisuke's house again, just to avoid me? How am I to make amends when shes away from home?

_She's afraid of me. _

I banished the notion and headed to his home.

* * *

The door bell rings, sounding throughout the entire house, probably startling Emiko and Kosuke as they doze off in their warm bed. I wish I had a warm bed. But no, I have to walk to Daisuke's home in the rainy Azumano streets, where I can be easily kidnapped, assaulted, or robbed. Thank you dearly, my beloved Riku.

I hear slow steps advancing to the door, and the chain unlocks. A tired Daisuke appears, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Risa...?"

He sees me in my drenched and delirious state, hugging myself in a futile attempt to keep warm. What a useless jacket I'm wearing. In a minute his eyes bulged, "What's wrong? Please don't tell me something terrible happened!"

"No.." I yawned, shivering in the cold, "Well, yeah, actually..."

"No, no, no.." Daisuke muttered, concern very alive in his features. He ushers me in and closes the door behind me. He runs into what I assume is a dirty laundry hamper, smiling as he pulls out a towel. He closes the lid and throws it to me, "There you go. Dry yourself off before you get sick."

I happily obeyed, rubbing off the rain with the warm towel. "Ahh, thanks a lot Dai."

I smiled.

At least I _think_ my lips curved into a smile. It's been so long since I experienced any emotion loosely related to happiness. Smiling had become foreign to me.

Daisuke studies me thoughtfully, tilting his head and returning an appreciative grin. "You...you called me Dai."

I look up in surprise as I rub the moisture out of my frizzy mane, unaware that I referred to him by such a name. "I...did?"

He blushes. "Yeah, I've really missed it too."

"Missed what?"

"Dai. My old name. I just might dream well tonight." he says enthusiastically, while I bask in shame.

"_You've changed so much, I can't sleep at night..."_

I didn't want my depression to interrupt Daisuke's sleeping patterns. For a while I thought he only concerned himself with Riku. But now that I know my feelings had an impact on him, I feel both guilt and relief.

Before I could speak, he says, "Riku's not home, is she?"

I froze. What does he mean 'Riku's not home'? Wouldn't he know if she wasn't? Isn't she here?

"Wait..what do you mean? Where else could she possibly be?"

"You tell me." he said, "Your father picked her up from school after she was suspended. I haven't seen her since."

I breathe, and try to focus my mind on something other than my intensifying panic. It's so late out. Not Daisuke's place. Not home. Where? Is she alright?

I lick and purse my lips together, trying to stop my impending tears. I'm getting very anxious. First she was suspended. Now she's nowhere to be found! This is horrible! What could have happened to her? What if she's hurt? No! She can't be! I have to find her!

I turn around and bolt out the door, leaving a startled Daisuke behind just as I had done to my father. The water sloshed about as I frantically trudged through the flooded streets, praying for a miracle. Where? Where could she be?

_I grasp the chain, wanting to crush the metal between my fingers._

"_I'm sorry, Risa_..."

My mind is a worried mess and my body is cold and unfeeling. I run down the street, aimlessly searching for a soaked, red bob of hair hanging over a crying face somewhere, anywhere.

In one moment, it hits me. Awareness floods my brain. The park.

* * *

She is a lonely ghost sitting on the swing. Her hair shields her face. From the distance, she is an amethyst shadow, basking in solitude. The swing creaks steadily. Rain drips from her chin. Rain or tears. One hand wrapped around the chain. Another on her lap. She is sleeping.

I advance slowly, trying not to startle her. It occurs to me that she was really awake. Her eyes are staring blankly at the floor, watching the tide of water wash over her mud caked feet. How did I know she was here? When I saw myself gripping that chain, I just knew. And here she is. A lonely ghost, just like my father.

She doesn't seem to be aware of my presence, so I take time to study her. She is still yet. Unmoving. It's as if she is dead there on the swing. When I was here, I was trembling so violently I couldn't control myself. Was she shaking like a leaf on a dying tree, just like I was? That could be a possibility.

I can feel the aching of her heart in myself.

I muster up the courage, then I will myself to speak. "When Mom was sick...and the doctors said they couldn't do anything to save her...I found myself sitting on that very swing.."

She slowly lifts up her head, and faces me with eyes of uncertainty. She arches a brow curiously.

"I couldn't believe the most wonderful soul in the universe was dying right before me..." I continued, "And the world..everyone, even me and you...were powerless and silent."

She opens her mouth, but hesitates. She grips the chain tighter, weakly uttering, "Two months.."

I stared.

"That's all they gave her.."

We gazed at each other for the longest time.

I summed up the courage, the will, the desire..to sit next to her on the swing.

She flinches, intimidated by our closeness. This is the closest we've been since that day. Even our beds are spaced apart so much..

Such a huge gap between us. We are strangers, Riku and I.

Should our names even be in the same sentence?

"Why are you here?" she whispered.

"I wanted..to t-tell you something.." I uttered nervously.

"What can you say that you haven't already said? That you're sorry?"

I paused. Didn't I say that to someone before? Dark? No, it was Daisuke..

"_I've loved you since I was 5 years old.."_

Guilt assailed me. How am I to make amends when not only is she unwilling to forgive me, but Daisuke confessed that he still had feelings for me?

No, I have to. I have to try.

"You know..I said exactly that to someone once. I guess we're not that different after all."

I reached for her hand slowly. My hands ghosted over the chain and longed to touch her fingers. She withdrew, moving to the other side of her seat.

Tears form in the corner of her eyes, as if she can no longer bear to be in my presence. She abruptly stands and flees from me, the disturbed swing swaying in her absence.

And in that moment, grief and anger stabbed my core. I hate her. I _hate_ her.

She runs into the woods, attempting to lose me there. But I won't. I won't leave now. Not when I was so close..

So close..

I jump up off my swing and leap over the bushes, consumed with the fire, the rage, the heartbreak, the malice..anything I've ever felt.

Before I can react, my legs fail me and I fall face first into a heap of mud, conscious of the fact that she is increasing the distance between us. The gap.

I slowly lift myself up, immersed in filth, wallowing in despair. She's running away from me.

_She's running away from me_.

_Again._

"Nooo!!" I cried. "Dammit, Riku!!"

My cry echoed off the trees, making the leaves tremble. My cry shook the earth, it shook the core of me. Not again. Don't run again. To Daisuke? Never. I'm not letting you go. I hate you. I _hate _you!

Blinded by dirt, I sat in the heap of mud, hating everyone and everything. I was going to apologize. I once felt remorse. I once felt guilt for what I've done. Now there is only hate. She's running again. Leaving me here alone.

"Run away! Go on! _Run!_ Run away, dammit! I hate you!! Just like you did when I needed you!"

I shout.

To Riku.

To the world.

To my mother.

To my father.

To Dark.

Every living being.

The world left me.

"Just when I needed you..." I wept, my shattered voice trembling. "You hear?? You _left_ me!!"

I wept in the mud, laying in it. Cold and abandoned. I wanted to die. I wanted the sea. I wanted to sink. Just when I had summed up my courage. Was it even courage? I had to apologize. But I love her so much, and she had to leave me...

"_Poor ugly duckling!"_

"_I want you to die!"_

"_Good God, Risa.."_

Arms wrap around me. I feel these cold, trembling worms wrap around my frame. Her hair stings my face, chafing my cheeks. She gasps, exerting air and sobbing to me like a sweet song. In moments I'm reduced to a weeping little girl, hugging her. Praying to the Supreme Intellect in the heavens. And I don't want her to leave. I don't want her to run away. I wasn't given a hand to hold...I wasn't given...

And she wraps her hands around mine, crushing my quivering fingers in her warm palm. She holds me tight to her chest, "I-I'm n-not leaving...anymore...I promise.." she cried. She nodded. "I'll be with you when you sleep. I will." She nodded again, "I will."

I smiled. Somehow, somehow...a foreign power gave me the strength to. I curled my lips into a smile. And I felt the warmth inside me glow, lighting up my sad heart.

"Don't leave me.." I cried, clutching her as tight as I could. "Don't leave.."

"I promise."

We stood up, covered in mud, covered with each other. She kissed my temple, whispering her love, and I smiled again. We walked out of the bushes, not caring that the bristles scratched our legs.

She didn't let go of my hand. We walked in unison. Catching a sickness in the rain. Together.

We are sisters now. Riku and I. And we belong together...in the same sentence, sitting next to each other on the swing, crying to each other. And if I die in the icy pond, so will she.

I have a hand to hold now.

In my warm bed, safe from the rain and the absence of the world. Her hair fell into mine, mingling with my strands, almost as if we were one. And her hand never left. So tightly clasped around mine. And I finally fall asleep.

* * *

I lost the Internet for a while, so I couldn't update. I had this chapter finished a _long_ time ago, but the stupid Internet had to go because...well, that's not important. Anyway, hope you liked. This fic is about to end real soon, I already have the next chapter all planned out, and the ones after that, so it's only a matter of typing them down and posting. I also have the Life and Death Of Rio Hikari planned out too. Yay for writing down chapter summaries while I didn't have the Internet! : )

Riku and Risa: Psst! She didn't have enough for the internet bill!

Me: Throws a pillow Shut the freak up!


	7. Where the Boundaries Are

(Risa)

He only sits in the rocking chair. It has become his home. All he ever does is weep silently to himself. He is the only one who will listen. He hasn't talked since Riku came home. The chair creaks, his shadow enlarges and grows smaller with every movement to and fro. His feet are firmly pressed against the floor, just as the empty bottle is firmly pressed against his thirsty lips.

He will not leave the living room, so Riku and I decided that we would take turns giving him his daily meals. Otherwise, he will not eat. We even have to stand there and feed him as if he were an infant. He lost his will to eat, to drink, and even to speak. His responses are limited to either a thumbs up or a thumbs down, or a simple nod. He won't even shake his head. Riku and I have become mothers of a sort, hating him for reducing himself to a helpless child.

I've shouted. I've shaken his shoulders. And yes, I even slapped him. But that only made more tears run down his sagged face. Riku scolded me for my violent behavior, saying, "You can't force him to be like he used to. This is how he wants to spend his days. It's not his fault he's like this. He was married to Mom for a long time."

Riku and I sleep in the same bed now. She buries her face into my pillow, holding on to my hand. I watch her sleep.

And the creaking keeps me up at night.

His face never leaves my mind. On the rare occasions that it does, its never far behind. In my dreams, I can see him. In my heart, I can feel him. Constantly I'm plagued by those sunken eyes, buried halfway under his lazy eyelids. They look more like dripping glass marbles than human eyes in my distorted thoughts. His hair grows thicker with each passing day. We tell him to shave, but he never listens.

I would walk past his lonely figure before I went out the door, and every time I do, he would lift his heavy eyes so slowly, so very slowly, to look up at me. I never returned it. I was too afraid to. I was afraid that, even if I shot a quick glance in his direction, his sad face would haunt me until he wasted away in that rocking chair, surrounded by the corpses of porcelain dolls. Forever etched in my brain.

At night, I lull Riku to sleep. I run my fingers through her red hair, letting those soft strands slide off my fingers like frail blades of grass. I hardly sleep. Behind my eyes always waits the same image. The chair.

He doesn't know, but I stay up with him.

And that ceaseless creaking keeps me up at night.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Satoshi)

I open the back door and turn the corner. While walking to my tree, I see a familiar shape. Her hair is messy and lays all over her shoulders, framing her perfect face. Wait. Her face _would_ be perfect, if it wasn't contorted into an angry expression.

I approach her cautiously, thinking of a proper response. But her position brings back a disturbing memory. Krad had his arms crossed like that once. He was issuing that same glare.

I cut straight to the point. "I assume you're still angry with me for our previous engagement."

"Don't talk like that! I hate it when you do that! And what you did at my house was really rude! I don't appreciate that, you know!"

A part of me foolishly wishes she suffered from short term memory loss, so as not to remember my little blunder at her front porch. But another part of me is enjoying that helplessly cute frown on her face. If she were any angrier, her little pink lip would be sticking out like an irritated infant.

I force a smirk. "I've always admired a fiery temperament in a woman. Not many people have the confidence to shout at me."

Unzipping my book bag and settling myself on the ground, I take out a brand new canvas. Her silence irks me. What I said isn't that surprising, is it? I told her the truth. I like women who aren't afraid to stand up for themselves. And people don't generally shout at me. I hope I didn't ruin the conversation with that simple statement.

"You came here to scold me; speak, Miss Harada," I teased, attempting a half smile.

She stares as if she's pondering my next move. She thinks me mad, possibly intoxicated, but surely I'm not being flirtatious with her.

"I hope you're not high on something.." she murmurs, her suspicious expression deepening.

"I'm sorry?"

Risa shakes her head. "Nothing. I don't know what you were doing at my house, but.."

"Which reminds me," I interrupted, slipping out my brushes and paints, "I did indeed get into a fight."

In a quarter of a second, her eyes flash with curiosity. "With who? What happened? Did you lose? Did--"

"Calm yourself, Miss Harada--"

"Risa." She said firmly.

"Erm, yes, Risa.." I said, slightly confused. I'll call her by her name if it's so important to her, though I don't understand why.

Why must I call her Risa all the time? It's not like we're friends or anything. We're just acquaintances. There's a difference. I don't hang out with her every day like her friends do.

I correct myself. _Used_ to.

She gestures me to move along. "Come on, tell me what happened already! And stop being so formal, I hate that!"

I relaxed my shoulders and frowned."What is there to tell? I'm a police officer, and I fought to disarm a dangerous purse snatcher."

I immediately turn my head away, biting my lip and squinting my eyes. _A purse_

_snatcher?_ Damn it, Hikari, could you think of a cornier lie?

Following my interlude of internal humiliation, a moment of silence falls on us.

"That's not really what happened, is it?" She questioned, not even convinced in the slightest.

I flushed, feeling betrayed because she did not believe my lie. She's changed a lot in these past few months following her mother's death. She used to be so childish, so free, so...feminine. Now she's no longer naive and unsuspecting like she used to be. She's skeptical and straightforward. I hate to admit it, even in the safety of my thoughts, but this seriously scares me. I hope she doesn't stay this way.

I turn to make a reply to her, having restored my usual reserved countenance. "It's quite insulting that you take me for a liar. Perhaps you have overstayed your welcome at my tree."

She flinched, obviously hurt. "No—yes! I don't want to be at your stupid tree anyway!" She gets up and brushes off her skirt, about to saunter away from me.

Before my pride, my thoughts or senses retrieved me, I helplessly blurted out:

"Forgive me...Risa."

She stiffens briefly, to imbibe my apology and accept that one out-of-character sentence as having actually been uttered. But her anger was quick to save her from forgiving me so quickly.

"Why should I?" She said, still having her back turned to me. "You said it yourself—I've overstayed my welcome!"

"I was just a little disturbed that you thought I wasn't telling the truth. I'm not a treacherous person, Risa...you can trust me."

A flicker of regret pains my heart as I debate with myself on the truthfulness of that.

She turns around. Her eyes gleam, and her lips break into a faint smile.

"Can I?" She asks softly, intimating permission to sit.

I nod.

She sits down on the dewy grass, peering at my blank canvas. "I wish you would let me keep that painting."

"Of course.." I said absentmindedly, losing myself in her eyes. But reality returned to me, and her words forced me to relive the memory of it being consumed in the fire. "Oh, I'm sorry...the painting.."

_"Dammit, Krad! Give it back!" I spring up and swipe at the elevated painting, but my failed attempt is met with a hard slap across my face. I stumble back, holding my cheek. My lips and hands quiver in disbelief. He actually struck me. It's been such a long time since our fights have gotten to the point of physical violence, but with Krad's malicious tendencies it was only a matter of time. "K-Krad..." I stammered._

"Yes?"

"It was...destroyed, I'm afraid."

She was taken aback. "Wha...destroyed?"

"I'm afraid that when I got home I clumsily dropped my paintings on it.." I said sheepishly, breaking eye contact, "It's quite a colorful mess now."

She narrows her eyes and becomes silent. Realizing that I've ruined the moment between us, I sought to make it right again. But nothing was coming to mind, unfortunately. I wished I had just given her the painting right then and there. Had I not so stupidly taken it home, it wouldn't be a heap of ashes now.

Why am I so mindless when I'm near her? It's not like she's different from any other girl..

Wait. Here's my chance to make things right again. Here's the opportunity to be...normal now..

I lift my head, overcome by a once dangerous notion. I can do this now. I don't have to be afraid. I don't have to be cautious. I can throw myself freely at her, without him behind my back now.

Feeling, at long last, liberated, my muscles relax. My mind is at ease for the first time in my life. The new feeling consumes me completely. I forget anything previous to it.

I clutch my pendant, not conscious that she is watching. So tightly, as I reflect on my new found freedom.

The words flow from my mouth like sheer silk. "I feel terrible for my clumsiness, Risa. May I make it up to you by taking you somewhere after school?"

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Risa)

It feels weird to me. Doesn't feel right. I mean, it's been such a long time since anyone asked me out...probably because I was pursuing Dark all the time, and I didn't really pay attention to anything but him. He was always in my mind. His black wings. I wondered what they would feel like against my skin. His suave appearance, his midnight locks.

But he seems farther from me than the most inconceivable dream.

I'm trying to imagine a life where my childish reveries are nothing but what they originally were. What will never come true.

But it seems wrong to me. Maybe it's just because this is new. I have no reason to be afraid. None at all. But why this feeling in my gut?

I ponder the reason while I examine my breasts again. I remember that when they first started to grow, I was excited. My mom had those. I wanted them too. And when I finally got to try on my new bra, Mom helped me choose which ones I liked. I liked the lingerie.

_She said, "Oh, honey, I like those too. I even have a few at home," she giggled girlishly, "But I'm afraid that's for women as grown as Mommy. You can't get these until you're older."_

"_One day, right?"_

"_Yes, pooh bear. One day, you'll be as big as Mommy."_

"_Mom, I told you not to call me that any more. I'm not a kid."_

"_Silly! You'll always be my Risa-pooh bear. Always."_

"Always." I muttered, stroking the strap of my bra and sliding it over my shoulder.

"_Risa, where have you been?" She says, slamming the spoon down on the kitchen counter. "Dinner was done ages ago! You know, you can't just walk around Azumano late at night! There are bad people out there!"_

"_I was just taking a walk!"_

"_Risa!" She gasped, "Why are you lying to your mother? I know exactly what you were doing! Riku said--"_

"_Riku!" I cried, sauntering to the living room. "You rat!"_

"_She's going to hurt her sister!" My mom sobbed._

_Dad grabbed me before I had time to blink and forced me to sit down on a nearby chair. "Now, you will sit here and listen to your mother, young lady! I thought I'd never see the day where you ventured out late at night to see some boy!"_

"_It's that pervert Dark! He's the one she's going out late at night for!" Riku said, poking her head out into the kitchen._

_My mother gasped and turned to me. "Tell me it isn't true! Risa, he's a thief! He's not a man you can marry and have children with!"_

_I covered my ears. "Stop it! Stop it! I don't want to hear it! You're driving me crazy! Leave me alone!"_

A few months later, I got my wish. Mom died, Dad disappeared, Riku left, and I separated myself from all my friends, including Daisuke. I was alone, just like I wanted.

But then I found out that being alone was not what I wanted at all. During my solitary musings in my lonely home—being tormented by phantasm—I knew a terror in me. And that terror was with me, following me everywhere. That silent terror. It was in the classroom. It was in the hospital. It was in the bedroom. It slept with me and the pink dress. That realization.

She was gone. Up there. In a careless tempest of clouds. And I was on the Earth, suffering the terror night and day.

I was alone.

But how could fortune smile upon me—so as to give me another broken heart to find consolation with?

I knew from the moment I saw his face. I knew from the way he spoke to me. I knew from the painting. From seeing me sitting on the grass, reading prose.

I knew he felt that terror too.

And now maybe he can mend my sad heart, and I can mend his.

My dark thoughts left me, replaced by a cloud of sunshine and a burst of vivacity. Why am I being so caught up in such dark meanderings? I have to meet Satoshi soon—for ice cream.

I think Mom would be proud. He's not a thief. He's not an elusive shadow of the night. He's a intelligent policeman who gets good grades and always gives the teachers an apple on "teacher appreciation" day. He dedicates all his extra time to fighting for the greater good and the safety of priceless art work.

...But he's also an eccentric boy who was waiting for me at my doorstep one night. He also hardly ever talks in class. His blue eyes are so incredibly cold, they can't be human. His hair is so fair and smooth—unlike most boys, whose hair is usually a thick heap of spikes. He's the Boo Radley of the real world, sitting in his desk and staring out the window at nothing. Other times he can be like Heathcliff—misanthropic and quick to glare at someone who tries to befriend him. Trust and happiness are foreign to him.

But its not like its hard to overlook that. I'm pretty sure he has a good reason for acting the way that he does. It could be out of habit. Maybe police work taught him not to plant his trust in anyone. He could have been hardened by cruelty in the past. Or maybe he's like me. Maybe he lost a family member and never recovered. A thousand possibilities, but in the end I can only guess at it.

Oh, what am I being so worried for? Of all the unnecessary feelings! It's not like he's dangerous or has a terrible secret. He's just shy, that's all. Just a little shy...

It's not like he has two parts of himself—like Daisuke does.

* * *

(Satoshi)

Should I be nervous? Maybe. As much as I hate to admit it—and one shouldn't be tricked by the squealing throng of fan girls I encounter every day—I've never been on a date before.

Ice cream really wasn't what I had in mind. I was thinking I could take her to dinner—like my stepfather does to all the pretty women he dates. But then again, her face lit up in such a way...that I don't think going out for ice cream disappointed her at all, even knowing I have far too much money to spare for more luxurious things. I think she really likes my company—as peculiar as that sounds.

Oh wait, here she comes now.

She's wearing a white dress with a square shaped neckline, ruffles adorning the edges of it and her shoulder sleeves. The waistline is cut just below her bosom, almost in the likeness of a maternity dress, wrapped beneath her chest in white lace. The dress ends just mid-knee, topped off with shiny white dress shoes with a bow in the middle of them—and of course, who could possibly forget—her trademark bow in the back of her head, with two side sections clipped back. Her womanly aura finally restored.

"Hi, Satoshi!" she calls jubilantly, running up to me, "So, what are your plans? Are we going to Dairy Queen or something?"

"Um, no. I actually had someplace different in mind. Have you ever heard of an ice cream shop called Tokyo Treats?"

"Yeah, I think Riku went there once with Mom. I was too sick to go, though."

"Well, now I have the honor of taking you there." I smiled.

She didn't return my smile. Instead, her face suddenly darkened, like she was reminded of something unsettling. Unintentionally, I allowed her brooding self to resurface again.

"You know, the day she took Riku to that place—she said her chest started to ache," she started, murmuring solemnly, "And when she came home, the phone rang. Dad told us it was the doctor. He was calling about the biopsy. Of course, at that time, I didn't know what that was—no one in my family was afflicted with cancer."

Trying to ignore my new found guilt, I nodded and led her across the street. I tried only to focus on finding the parlor instead of listening. It didn't work out.

She continued, "I didn't think much of it...until I saw the look on her face. She was rubbing the seashell I gave her the year before. And I remember the phone was hanging off the handle. And the clock was ticking. I've never heard the ticking...that loud before.."

She averted her eyes to the pavement as we walked on, lost in herself. "I waited outside while Dad went in and closed the door. I heard fragments of a brief conversation, though I couldn't make much out. But before I left.." she looked up at me, "I heard Mom say 'It's malignant'."

I drew in a breath.

"That was two months ago," she muttered, pushing back stray strands behind her ear. "It's weird...that's exactly how long the doctor said she was going to live."

"Oh," was all I could manage to utter in my shock. I haven't spent nearly three minutes with her, and she just confided in me the last disturbing memories of her mother.

She came back to reality in an instant. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" She cried, clutching her cheeks. "I-It's just that...ever since--"

"It's alright, Risa. I know how it feels to suffer through the death of a loved one. It actually makes me feel better.." I was quick to reproach myself, "I mean, knowing I wasn't the only one who went through it. I talked to Daisuke, and I asked him if he ever cried over someone's passing. He said no."

"So you know how it feels." she smiled sheepishly, "You get lost sometimes...in your own thoughts. Say stuff you wouldn't say. Do things you wouldn't do."

I nodded, "Precisely."

"But we shouldn't talk about this stuff. Let's talk about ice cream instead!" She said, in a sudden exuberance of liveliness. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"I don't have a favorite, actually. I'm not one to favor certain things."

"So does that mean you don't have a favorite color? Or a favorite shirt?"

"Kind of. I have favorites, just very few."

"Oh, well my favorite flavor is chocolate chip mint. Loved it since I was small."

"I like that flavor myself. But I've only tried it once or twice because I was tired of all the others."

While we walked down town, she went on and on about things of no relevance, such as how Riku forgave her for falling on a doll named "Lucy", or knowing that Riku has been in love with Daisuke since she was three years old.

All the while I couldn't help but cherish every word—it wasn't like she was telling stories of great importance—but she found me acceptable as to know these things. No one but Daisuke would tell me about their pursuits and fears during childhood, which I thought, on some level, Risa was still going through.

Her mask completely faded, and I was beginning to believe that she was reverting back to her old self. And I was helping her by just listening. Maybe that's what she needed all along. Riku was in Daisuke's company all the time, her father was God knows where, and her mother was deceased. She literally had no one to pour herself out to. But now it's different.

We sit on a bench outside of the ice cream parlor and eat. I got vanilla with sprinkles. It was hard trying to justify myself without being laughed at—I told her that even though I'm 15, in some instances I'm still childlike.

I have a vague memory from when I assume I was three or four. And I saw a woman leaning over me. I assume she was my mother, but I could be wrong. It was the first time I've ever eaten ice cream. And she was handing something to me. I remember not knowing what it was, and feeling one of my first twinges of confusion. I didn't know what I was feeling. And I didn't know who the woman was or why she was giving this weird shaped thing that tasted so good..

She gave me vanilla ice cream with sprinkles.

When I feel it melt in my mouth...its like shes not gone. And when I bite into the hard cone, realize that she is.

I grasp the pendant again. I remember reading from a tattered book that my Great Grandfather gave this to my Mother to protect her from that psychopath.

"_But it has a flaw.."_

But I think that once...help didn't get to her in time.

Desperate to get the thoughts out of my mind, I asked her, "Do you like flowers?"

She turned to me, her eyes glimmering like diamonds. "Oh, yes, I do!" She cried gleefully, like I had just proposed to her.

I had her close her eyes as I led her to the back of the parlor, pushing through a heap of thick vines and reminding her to keep her eyes closed because it was a surprise. This only intensified her desire to open them, which was exactly my intentions. I received a profound pleasure at teasing her, for some odd reason.

What gave me pleasure even more than teasing her was holding her warm hand. It wasn't a romantic gesture to her at all; she probably reasoned I was doing that to stop her from getting lost. In reality, I was overcome with the desire to hold her hand but, after some thought, decided that I had to have a good reason for doing so, and I came up with one.

At our destination, I let go of her hand, which was slightly painful, and told her to open her eyes.

When she met the sight, she squealed with happiness, covering her mouth in awe.

What lay before her were lengthy fields of blooming Snapdragons, violet and white orchids, irises, roses, chrysanthemums...and every other kind of flower as far as the eye can see. Flitting Monarchs and Blue Morphos were noticeable from the distance, glittering in the flaring sunlight.

I half-smiled, trying not to let her know how happy I was that she was so impressed. "Well, behind the parlor there's a very vast meadow full of every kind of flower you can imagine. It's owned by an old man who's been a friend of my Stepfather's for years. The old man is sick and lame from his illness, and he's considering giving it to my Stepfather, who's considering giving it to me. But I don't know what I'd do with hundreds of flower patches.."

She let out a shaky breath as her hands slowly left her face, turning to look at me. "And..?"

"I imagine that owning this meadow would be quite expensive. I would have to hire a multitude of gardeners to tend to the flowers individually; not to mention security.."

"But you _can_ pay for it, right?" She pursued.

"Yes. But I have no use for it."

She bit her lip. What she was thinking was obvious. I was just waiting for her to ask the question.

"Can you keep this...for me?"

"..." I replied, not sure what I should say.

"I know it's asking a lot, but I promise I'll visit it everyday! And I'll even help out with the gardening! Please?" She squeezed her hands together, eying me desperately.

Lucky for her, those eyes were too intense to ignore, and I don't think I could forgive myself if I denied her.

I averted my eyes to the ground. "Fine."

She cried out excitedly and grasped my hand. I fought a small gasp as she led me through the meadow, despite the fact that she has never been here before.

She let go of my hand to rip a few pink roses by their roots, carefully avoiding the thorns. She brushed off some of the earth caked on to the roots, and slid them behind her ear. It stuck in her hair perfectly while she trotted about, smelling the flowers and basking in their colorful ocean.

I watched intently while she lost herself in bliss, staring up into the bright blue sky and smiling, her eyes lighting up as if she were a creature in a flawless world.

Her hair blew past her face, intertwining with the puffy, flying seeds of dandelions and loose rose pedals and the like; she closed her eyes and imbibed the air.

"Is this real?" She murmured to herself, seeming to have forgotten all about me.

"Indeed." I said as I walked up to her. I shyly put my hands in my pockets and watched bees leap from flower to flower, carrying their sticky nectar with them.

She finally acknowledged my existence after gazing beyond the meadow for a few minutes, her attention stolen by the faraway threshold of a neighboring forest.

"Oh, Satoshi! I'm so sorry! I guess I was just so happy that I forgot...about everything.." she blushed, peering at me through her squinted eyes.

"Its alright. Enjoy yourself. Its what I brought you here for."

She jumped up in an instant, only to grab my hand again and sincerely convince me to race her. I declined two times, but finally gave in.

We took places beside each other, bracing for the impending race, as she counted to three.

"One.."

I wasn't too excited about this.

"Two.."

Maybe I should just forfeit right now..wouldn't want to destroy those flowers..

"Three!" She screamed, darting away from me. I quickly caught up with her, smiling as I passed her swiftly. She playfully called me a cheater, and quickened her pace.

I slowed down a bit to let her pass me, trying to get her hopes up; then I quickly passed her again. I was about to ask her where do we stop, but my question was interrupted as she screamed, "Look out!"

I received her warning too late: I tripped unwittingly and tumbled down a hill. She was quick to jump out after me, rolling down the hill while a flurry of flower pedals and dandelion seeds followed.

Unfortunately, we landed on top of each other.

I was too embarrassed to move, hoping that she would come to her senses and get off of me as soon as possible. I'm positive she could see how strongly I blushed. I turned my face away from her timidly while she spat flower residue from her mouth, trying to get her hair out of her face.

Just when I was thinking of getting up, she softly touched the edge of my cheek, sliding her finger down my neck. I gasped and gaped at her, trying to illicit shame, but to no avail. She narrowed her eyes and brought her soft finger to my lips, brushing them against it. I was motionless; one side of me hoped she would stop it immediately so I wouldn't be blushing so hard, the other part of me wanted her to continue—if she brought her finger to my lips again, I might be tempted to kiss it if I succumbed to this notion.

I gulped silently, feeling my heart beat faster as I submitted to the romantic part of me—the part that wanted to taste her lips. She withdrew her hand and used it to prop herself up over me. We were still on top of each other. Her long hair fell on my face, tickling my cheeks. The rays of sunlight were unable to penetrate through the wall of her thick hair, darkening her features. She closed her eyes and leaned in on me, slowly...ever so slowly, decreasing the gap between our faces.

As terrified as I was (yes, I was scared, feel free to laugh), I wanted this moment more than anything in the world. I had never received a kiss before—and if I have, I don't remember it.

It was probably from my mother, anyway.

Before that moment could complete itself, before I could seize her, I felt a terrible pain growing in my chest. It struck me like a bee sting, then intensified with each passing second. I grunted and rolled over, grasping my chest and hyperventilating. She fell off on the other side, quickly standing up to assist me.

Even though the pain was hindering my thinking, I knew the moment it rose in my chest who the perpetrator was. Fear and alarm overtook me as the adrenaline rushed through my veins faster than it ever had before...like the blood curdling fury of an internal tsunami.

"_NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO! RUN!"_

"_SATOSHI, PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENI--"_

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Author)

Before Risa could finish her sentence, Satoshi's back exploded as wings bursted through his skin, causing a shower of blood to stain her skin. Risa screamed and ran past him, running as fast as her legs could carry her. Her mind was a frantic mess, crying out for her mother, for Riku, for God himself.

_"NO! NO! AAH!"_ She helplessly yelled, trying to will herself to believe that this was a nightmare. But her brain wasn't cooperating; it was only concerned with fleeing as fast and as far as possible. She didn't realize how fast her legs were bringing her to the end of the meadow—right to the threshold of the welcoming forest. She jumped in on instinct, falling flat on her stomach and sliding to a halt, covered in mud and broken leaves.

Her consciousness was shifting to a red and frenzied haze as her vision failed, her senses beginning to die as she lethargically dragged herself behind the trunk of a tree, plopping against it hard. Waiting for death. Waiting for an inescapable demise while her defense mechanism took over her brain.

"_But doctor..." the woman breathed, covering her mouth with her hand. "Tell me it isn't true.." she murmured._

_The man in white stood before an assembly of x-rays, staring at them for a few moments before he came to the heart-stopping conclusion. _

_He slid his pen into his coat pocket and stared at her, dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Harada. This is aggressive."_

_Aya helplessly shook her head as tears formed in the corner of her eyes. "No...no.."_

"_It's advanced." He said, looking down. _

_Aya burst out of the room, running down the white hallway, blinded by the unreality of this place, this moment. Just running._

_Risa and Riku met their Mother by the door to the Emergency Room, leaning against it, twitching as her tears smudged her eyeliner. _

_The clock had begun it's monotone waltz. _

Risa was ripped from her dark dreams and into cold reality as a man's hands wrapped themselves around her neck, viciously determined to cut off her air supply.

* * *

To be continued..


	8. Love Lost

(Continued from Author's POV)

Krad wrapped his hands around the poor girl's neck, unleashing all of his bitter hate, despair and blood lust on ending this precious human life.

Every time he murdered, whether it be out of burning jealousy or searing hatred, the same intense feeling flared up inside him. The feeling dissipated once the person died. He loved and hated watching the light leave their eyes.

He wanted controlled moments of insanity such as these to last forever. Since reality would not bestow upon him such a gift, he relied on the only possible alternative. As a true sado-masochist, he would make the most of these irreplaceable episodes.

Imagine the tears that would stream down his tamers face! It was impossible to wait for. If only Satoshi were awake at this moment..

The feeling of liberation was unparalleled to anything a mere depraved human could feel watching his tamer sink into madness and be consumed by his despondency. Or better, seeing the soul of his lover dwindle right before his eyes.

Simply delectable...

While he literally choked the life force from her, the girl's hands flung up to release herself from his grip.

He liked that too.

But why did they struggle? Was it just a helpless instinct of theirs to be compelled to act in their last moments, though not to accept death would be futile? Whatever the reason be, he enjoyed it. Like the last moments of a dark orgasm.

She was too weak and disoriented to fight against a fully grown and far more powerful man. The very thought of the inevitable conclusion gave him shivers of pleasure.

His seraphic luminescence only grew brighter as she withered away in his clasp. She was unable to take her eyes off of his orbs, so completely suffused with golden fury.

Before her final rendition to her fate, she thought it best to say one last word that stood for her innocence; maybe, just maybe, the implication would either coax him to kill her quicker or rouse some veiled sentiment that would save her life.

"_Please."_ She managed to choke out, as her engorged veins sent the fiery color of her neck inching up her cheeks, marring her once beautiful features.

Krad's menacing eyes softened somewhat at her plea—one he could easily ignore—but something was so inexcusable about the way she said it that he began to reconsider his actions.

He was all about the emotional high that was brought on by the senseless murder of the innocent, but would that be an intelligent thing to do in this case?

If she were to suddenly disappear, wouldn't her fellow humans set out a search to find her? And if they _did_ find her—a corpse sprawled motionless over the ground of the forest—it would only be common sense to suspect foul play. And what if her murder led right up to Satoshi, and he was arrested?

Neither of them would enjoy the electric chair or a lethal injection, or possibly life in prison. Is this pathetic girl really worth a set of consequences that would not help to accomplish his lifelong vendetta?

Krad had to make a decision before the girl's body gave out, and that was happening rapidly. Her skin started to discolor, her eyes began to dilate. Her fingers began to loosen around his own. Very slowly, her struggle was depleting.

Krad closed his eyes and resigned himself to further contemplation.

He would revel at the thought of the psychological damage the girl would suffer; imagining her unnerved in the middle of the night just at the sight of him in her dreams was something that deserved a sigh of satisfaction. The mental breakdowns his tamer would undergo excited in him the most elated sense.

But..?

What if Satoshi committed suicide to escape the blame for the murder and free himself of his alter ego? He certainly didn't want that—and he knew Satoshi would gladly take his own life if the circumstances were too extreme.

Having made his decision, he opened his eyes. He loosened the grip around her neck and flung her against the trunk of a nearby tree. The girl fell to the ground upon impact and rolled to a stop inches from his own feet.

She twitched for a few minutes, then began to splutter saliva and gasp for air. Since her body was too weak to sustain her in a upright stature, she collapsed into the mud and shuddered helplessly.

With her profile concealed in the earth, she withdrew into a fetal position and wept softly to herself. She wrapped her hands over her head as if she were praying that he would not be enticed to strike her.

The pathetic sight elicited the same murderous rage he felt when he first encountered her cowering behind a tree, looking like she was driven to insanity with fear. Her chocolate locks were smeared with mud, leaves and broken pieces of twigs. Her skin was marred by blood and dirt.

The sight was insufferable. How was he supposed to walk away from a piteous creature just begging for death?

Before he could betray his present course of action, the atmosphere stimulated his senses. He averted his amber gaze to the sky as it darkened. The sun was soon sheathed by an impenetrable cloak of bluish grey clouds. He listened intently for the crack of lightening, excited into silence from the advent of the tempest.

Those repetitive noises she was emitting was irritating him. Does she not cherish her life? If she did, she wouldn't be whimpering like a injured dog. The moment he lost his patience with her sobs, he violently kicked her stomach to stifle the noises. She got the message and became silent.

He continued to listen for the sound of thunder or feel the first, light touches of raindrops. The sky darkened a little more, then a brief drizzle began. Krad imbibed the air, loving the smell of an impending thunderstorm. It was always something he loved, though he wasn't sure why.

Then again, the majority of the things he adored were loved without reason, as was his existence.

These bizarre instincts must have stemmed from his creator somehow.

He didn't hide the fact that diversity was one of the things he was particularly fond of in this world.

It interested him that, even though Dark and him were conceived on the same day and hour, they came out as two parts of one entity. Dark was the art thief whose chief source of pleasure was indulging himself with the beauty of women and desired coexistence with his tamer; but Krad was the guardian of the arts and saw women as deceiving beings and desired a body purely his own.

As much as it pained him to admit, Dark completed him.

But Krad was afraid that in this world, with such treacherous souls, there was no one to complete his tamer. This pitiful, misery stricken girl was no exception. He was just stopping another tragedy before it began.

It delighted him to show her who she cared for did not fit her preconceptions. Maybe next time she would watch who she tries to ensnare in her feeble, little traps.

He glimpsed down at the girl. Surprisingly, his anger subsided completely when he saw her. She was still for the most part, save the occasional tremor of her colorless fingers.

This girl was usually an eyesore. But seeing her so motionless, pale, and helpless made it easier to accept that she was dead. The softest twinge of infrequent remorse stung his heart; he dismissed it as having been brought on by Satoshi's dwindling awareness.

He reached down to her level, careful not to stain his pure white garments, and lifted her face to his to confirm if she was still awake. Her eyes were dull, blurry spheres of hazel, rolling aimlessly at all directions. She was like a harmless infant, which aroused in him a spirit of perverseness. He could do anything to her and she wouldn't fight back. She was too lifeless to stop him.

The pendant flickered. The light died off within a few moments. Krad felt nothing except the slightest pain at his heart.

Krad chuckled at the now useless trinket he wore around his neck.

Snapped out of his pondering by the girl's uneven breathing, he resumed his intended task.

He closed in on her face. "Consider this a warning," he began softly, lightly swiping the mud off her inflamed cheeks, "If I ever see you near him again, I will not hesitate to end your life..."

She squinted her eyes. The feel of his hands on her again brought back the throbbing of her red-ringed throat. If he attempted to strangle her again, without a doubt, she would spew bile.

He allowed her chin to slip off the tip of his finger and land on the soil. She eventually sank into the heaps of mud that devoured her hungrily. She hoped she would descend deep enough to block out the image of him from her mind forever.

"He's just like Daisuke..." she muttered to herself, almost inaudibly. So softly, she didn't feel her mouth move to the rhythm of the words.

Fortunate for her, Krad did not pick it up. Had he caught a fragment of what she said, he would have changed his mind about sparing her life. He would make anyone rue the day they compared a work of art like him to the detestable Niwa clan.

He stood up, sauntering out of the forest in perfect strides, until he had a mind to add one last sentence for her consideration. He rested a hand on the moss covered trunk of a tree for balance as he turned around to face her.

"Should you disobey...I will make sure he is watching from within me...when I tear your throat out."

Much to the surprise of Krad, the pendant resumed it's defiant flicker.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Satoshi)

I remember bits and pieces. I remember her coming to life under the peaceful blue sky. I remember tumbling down the hill...but anything further...I can't seem to recall.

Before he woke inside, before I felt that pain in my heart...I knew it was going to happen. I knew that this wouldn't end well. But yet again. I allowed myself to be so careless...

She could be dead for all I know...and for all I remember, for that matter...

It took a while. A while to pull myself out of that endless black hole of unconsciousness. It was as if my body wanted to save me from the sight of whatever lay before me in reality.

I was forced into dormancy by Krad. All the while I had to endure all of those sickening thoughts and his warped view of humanity while he did whatever he wanted to her. I felt helplessly imprisoned in one of those enthralling nightmares, where you're aware that what you're feeling isn't real, but you can't get out.

I tried screaming. I tried pinching myself. But nothing worked. So I remained in the depths of my own mind in a compelled slumber, waiting. Waiting to die. Waiting to wake up. Waiting for glimmer of a spark or the glow of a white light. Anything.

When my senses finally came, the first thing I felt was rain. I smelled the strong scent of dirt and pine cones. I was so afraid.

I opened my eyes.

Jagged leaves of towering trees stand over me. The distressed sky bore streaks of blue and grey. Lightening sounds. My heart jumps to the moment. I feel the earth beneath me shake. Cold and wet. I don't know where I am.

I cough. The earth shakes again. A minor earthquake, but it's moving my weak body to and fro. I am forced to flip over from the tide of the tremors. My face hits the ground and splatters into a puddle of murky water. A forest? I don't remember being in a forest..

My sight shifts to my side.

Feet quivering in the mud. Those white shoes with those girlish bows on them...now blanketed by dirt. Is she sitting against something?

Propping myself up on both elbows, I let my eyes trail up her body. It took one second to conclude that she was traumatized and scared out of her mind.

So he had hurt her after all.

Her face was bloody and shrouded in mud. Those bright, hazel eyes—once glimmering with happiness and peace—now reduced to fear and distrust.

I reached out for her with my other arm. "Risa.." I cried, trying to pull myself closer to her. Though my body, stunned into dumbness from the intensity of the transformation, would not cooperate with my commands.

If I cannot rely on my body, then I can rely on my mouth. She isn't Krad. She can be reasoned with. Maybe if I can get her to calm herself, I can explain this. She can forget, and I can forget...

Unfortunately, the chance was not to be realized. She flinched and sprung to her feet in an instant, running past me and out into the meadow.

I must have replayed that instant in my head a thousand times. Her swaying hair, the bow ripped and torn from it's rightful position, her bloodied legs, her destroyed dress...as vivid as the first time.

The sight of her running away from me is burned into my brain.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Risa)

The wet pavement glistens in the moonlight, reflecting my muddy, dismal image. If I were more sensible to my surroundings, I might run home, driven by the fear of catching a cold.

But my body keeps me and my thoughts at a relentlessly slow pace. And all I can see is his face. So beautiful, yet so terrifying.

His other half.

Was that man part of some morbid mechanism in Satoshi's body that springs out when...

He gets close to someone?

Who was he in the first place? Is he even human? He doesn't even look like Satoshi at all...nor does he act like him...

I run over my sore throat with my fingers. My hand twitches. Damn, that hurts.

Why did he try to strangle me? I didn't do anything to him. Why in the world would he try to kill me? I didn't do anything...

Was he angry because I tried to...kiss Satoshi?

No, that's insane. He can't be that possessive...

What if that man is another part of Satoshi? Maybe an alternate personality...

A real person living inside him. A real, living, breathing...

_Gold eyes. Gold hair. Perfect skin._

Beautiful person...

I shake my head. I need to get these thoughts out of my head. This isn't an appropriate way to think of the man who just attempted to murder me.

But why on earth would Satoshi grow wings?! I-If he has wings then...

He's not human.

"_I'm...part of Daisuke..."_

Oh my God.

He has two parts of himself..

Like Daisuke does.

A car passes by in the reflection of the puddle. I perked my head up.

Riku...?

Is she...in that car? Where is she going?

Wait! Daisuke and his parents are in the car, too! Where are they going?

Riku glimpses in my direction. A jolt of shock runs through me. I flee to the nearest tree and hide behind it.

The car passes. I'm safe.

Now she won't know what happened to me.

I run home so fast, my legs feel weightless to me. I was propelled by the force of a new fear: something could have happened at home. Whatever it may be, what happened between Satoshi and I was not the only thing that went wrong.

The cars at the side walk fly like fleeting colors as I make my way home in the midst of the storm. I can feel that emptiness take hold of me again. That ever relentless terror. I feel it boil inside my stomach, waiting to seize my heart again. When it does, I won't have the strength to move anymore. I'll fall victim to my grieved mind and fall unconscious.

When I reach the door, I trip over the porch and land on my knees, gripping the door knob and panting for breath. I turn the knob and land in my warm home. The smell greets me like the tormenting miasma it is. Closing the door behind me, I slide lazily down the length of the front it, sitting just a few inches from the faint blood stain embedded into the carpet.

My hands make muddy imprints on the floor. I don't care. The terror has me in it's embrace. God. The smell reminds me.

The smell reminds me.

_"Risa, Riku ...I just love you so much..."_

She's gone.

"_Risa..."_

And so is Satoshi. They are both gone.

_"I will make sure he is watching from within me..."_

He doesn't want me there. He doesn't want me near him.

_"...When I tear your throat out."_

My blurred, lazy eyes shift to the living room. The lamp is turned upright, placed in it's original position. On the table, as it should be. The floor is dry and the depressing scent of beer and cigar smoke has been eliminated from the atmosphere. All those tiny little appendages of innocent, dead little girls are no longer here.

Then it hits me like a hard slap across my face.

My father isn't here either.

Before time sufficient enough to panic passes, the rain drops sound like those dreadful falling drums. My ears ache. The floor quakes. I fall.

A hazy figure of her appears. Her skin is so blue. She must truly be a part of the ocean now. She asks me what's wrong.

"_I told you not to play in the rain, Risa! You know you can get sick like that! Haven't I told you?"_

Yes, you've told me.

I breathe in the faint scent of blood. And my existence ends with the beating of those insufferable drums and tremors.

* * *

Family member friend..

Surly.

White h alls.

I'm no t

crying!

Red paint behind...

Good god, Risa.

Mommy doesn't...

Lit tle girl..

Aya...

Rip

Throat o ut

"Risa..."

Ugly

Duc kling...

_"Risa?"_

White.

Sist er died?!

Gone...

_"Risa?"_

I gasp.

Sunken eyes? That's Dad. That's Dad!

He shakes me repeatedly. "Risa, are you alright? Your eyes are rolling all over the place..."

Gonee...te...

rror...

"Risa! Wake up!"

I gasp again. I have a lump caught in my throat. Tears spill out from the corners of my eyes. I grasp something. Hoping I'm not dying. Terrorized by the fact that I could be dying.

"It's okay, it's okay...you're a little tipsy, that's okay." He runs his fingers through my hair. Trying to reassure me.

"Am I dying?" I slur, my voice breaking.

"No." He shakes his head. His sunken eyes stay the same. His breath isn't so foul and offending now. His stringy grayish brown hair is combed back. It's usually all over his face.Why does he care about everything all of a sudden? He even cleaned the living room.

This white place isn't home. I know that much.

"You need to calm down. You don't have the strength for anything right now. You're being fed through a tube as it is."

My heart lurched. "What are you talking about?"

"You're in the hospital. Take it easy. Stop squeezing me so hard." He murmurs.

My hands loosen my grip on his jacket. I was holding it that hard? I can't even feel my hands...

"Dad, something's happening!" I cried, trying to scream, but the attempt only came out as a loud groan. "I can't scream.."

"You don't need to be screaming, honey. You're in a hospital. If you wake the other people up, the doctors and nurses aren't going to be happy about that."

"What's happening?"

Dad let out a sigh and situated himself on the side of the hospital bed. His weight made me feel like I was going to fall off. I let out another groan, which was really another attempt at screaming. He clamped my shoulders and rubbed them to release the tension. "Oh, honey, you're in such bad shape...you're worse than me.."

"Dad..." I rasped, unaware that I was clutching him tightly.

"Did you try to hang yourself or something? Your neck is so red...I-I mean I know you're sad about Mommy...I am too, but.."

"No. I want you to tell me why I'm here." I breathed.

"Let go of my jacket, Pooh bear." He smiled again, letting out a little laugh.

My lip quivered as I let go. It still irked me that my hands were so numb.

He reached up to my face and pulled a few hairs off of my mud caked cheeks. "The reason why you're here is because you finally gave out after days and days of not eating."

My breath hitched.

"_You don't eat at all. That's not healthy, Risa."_ Daisuke's voice startled me into awareness.

"I know, it's not your fault. When people are really, really sad...sometimes they forget the necessities." His eyes darkened. "Sometimes...they forget everything."

The sudden realization just suspended all movement. I had forgotten. I was so wrapped up in my misery...I forgot to feed myself...

What a silly reason to be in the hospital, Risa.

He clenched my numb hand, letting a tear slide down his cheek. "I wanted to take this opportunity to...to tell you something, Pooh bear. I...if it wasn't for you...I wouldn't be here."

"What do you mean?"

"If I hadn't been reminded of what you and Riku were going through...I would have killed myself the night Mommy died."

"I ran away. The business trip was a lie. I left. I just...it was so intense, Risa. You will never know how...much it was, how much I felt. I had the same thoughts berating me, _beating_ me, and...I didn't want to think about any of that anymore. So I lied. I told you I had to go somewhere so I could escape. I was gonna run somewhere, go buy a gun and..."

"Oh, Dad..." I shook my head, "You're so pathetic..." I actually burst into dry laughter.

He issued me a confused expression. "Oh, honey..." He smiled, "You are so strung out on drugs.."

My smile disappeared. "I'm...on drugs?"

"Yeah, honey." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "You were out of your mind, saying all these things about something called a Dark, and uh..." he scratched his head, "Geez, what else were you saying? Oh, yeah. Something about a duckling..." he laughed again, "And about Mommy being gone. You also said you have a headache, which was the only thing you said that actually made sense."

"So they gave me drugs?"

"Yeah. We also needed something to shut you up. You were embarrassing the hell out of me."

I laughed again. Though I really wasn't in the mood for it. But I thought: if I can't scream, then I guess I'll have to laugh instead.

* * *

The store was about to close, so everything had to go. Even the most beautiful dolls were on sale for less than what they were really worth. All kinds of dolls. Children, women, men, elderly couples, fairies, mermaids, ect.

Dad let us choose which ones we liked the most. He wasn't on a budget. He'd be able to pay now. He even said I could quit my job at the library.

"It was wrong on my part to force the burden of the bills on you because I wanted to be a cry baby," he said, as I layed in the hospital bed.

As we roamed about the shop, I couldn't help but notice his far more pleasing countenance. Having been liberated from those binding feelings, he could return to the person he used to be. His color returned to him. His eyes sparkled beneath those heavy lids.

Hell, he even shaved.

His happiness was contagious. Seeing him slide his finger over the doll cases and shelves relieved my own despondency.

Riku seemed too lost in her state of indecision as she held two dolls of the same garb, but different hair color in her hands. Her eyes darted from one to the other, letting out an occasional groan of disappointment.

I peered down at the cart. Five had already been decided on. They were not really reminiscent of the others that had been destroyed, but I was sure Lucy would grow to love them as she had loved her other sisters. She would be surprised to know that we were replacing her companions with new ones. I just hoped she wasn't too angry with Dad.

"Ooh. This one's going on the highest shelf, with little Lucy."

Riku and I turned around to see Dad holding in his hands one of the cased ones. She was undoubtedly going to be more expensive than the other ones. Before I could advice against it, he took the words right out of my mouth.

"She costs a little more, I know. But I want her. Look at her, you'll see why."

Riku and I sauntered up to him, our eyes immediately averted to what lay in the case.

Contrary to the trademark spiral curls a porcelain doll usually wore, her hair was sleek and long. She was endowed with the beautiful chestnut hue our mother once had, bearing the eyes of her as well. That hazel that we missed so much.

To top it all off, she was a mermaid with a pink tail and shiny orange shell breast plates. Like the one she was burned with.

Dad turned to me. "Risa, honey, I know you don't believe in Heaven, but...can't you at least let me believe that she's up there?"

I studied him for a while, trying to see my mother's gaze in his eyes.

One of those rare, unexpected things happened. I smiled. "Of course. What are you going to name her?"

Riku usually did the naming. Despite this question having been addressed to my father, she bit her lip in contemplation.

Before she could answer for him, he replied, "Aya."

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update. I was suffering from major writer's block. I knew what I wanted to happen in this chapter, but I just didn't know how to effectively put it into words. How did I do? I honestly think I could have been just a little bit more emotional with this chapter.

Forgive me if the latest two chapters didn't have as much melancholy overtones as the other ones had. I am working toward an ending that requires the change in mood.

Also, I have been stressed out about how I am going to word the upcoming events in the Life and Death of Rio Hikari, which was another factor in my bout of writer's block. I feel the need to make my works distinct from one another, so if each of my stories have a serving of angst in them, I want the emotions of sadness and despair being depicted in separate ways for each of the stories. It's just the way I think.

Okay, thanks for taking the time to read this.


	9. Intrigue

This chapter will be a little more "chaotic" than the others in that the points of view will be changing very quickly. It's just my way of getting the plot along, because there is only one more chapter after this, and then this story is officially over and I can move along with other endeavors in different fandoms (I am now an avid fan of Death Note).

* * *

"_You were _not _trying to kill yourself!" Riku hastily whispered, her eyes wide and angry._

_Risa sighed. "No, I wasn't.." Her fingers traced the sore lump of red flesh._

_Riku slammed her sister into the wall, pinning her down. Her shocked sibling tried to free herself, but unfortunately, Riku's increased strength prevailed. But how could that be so? Risa thought. It was only a month ago and she pushed her down the steps..._

"_A few students said they saw you with Satoshi after school that day! If he was the last person you were with then--"_

"_Satoshi wouldn't--"_

"_Don't lie to me, dammit!" Riku shrieked._

_Risa fell silent._

* * *

(Risa)

This is spinning out of control.

I had my mind in pieces, but now that my life is coming apart too, I finally begin to realize that mental atrophy was only the beginning.

Needless to say, my father was furious; Riku was grieved and suspicious; I was terrified and shaken.

He just wouldn't stop yelling.

"_Where is he, Risa?" He thundered, sending powerful echoes throughout our home to ring my sore ear drums._

"_I don't...know..." I gripped my shoulders, praying for the strength to separate myself from this nightmare somehow. I need my reverie. I need my mechanism. I need my Mom..._

_I want my Mom..._

"_Pooh bear..." she cries, "Did you fall down? Do you have a boo boo?"_

_I nod my head helplessly, ignorant that Riku and my father can see me. They're confused. I'm confused. They think I've gone insane. I know I'm insane._

"_I know who did it, Dad!" Riku clenched her fists, "It was--"_

_Then out of nowhere, unwanted and unprecedented to even myself, I began holding my head and screaming. Suddenly, the world started..._

_Spinning..._

_And...spinning..._

_It won't stop spinning._

_Even thinking of the colors now, the vortex of incomprehensible colors and incoherent thought, I can see him._

_That man._

"_...When I rip your throat out..."_

"_...From the inside..."_

Impossible scenarios whirred around in my groggy head as I lay in a fetal position in my bedroom. My only source of consolement being this pink dress, completely robbed of her soothing smell and replaced with my repulsive one.

All the while I thought of the now destroyed relationship between Satoshi and I. There were so many things I wanted to do at that moment. To scream. To cry. To embrace him. To condemn him. But in the end, all I could do was run. And run.

That proved to be a major mistake. Had I taken into consideration his current state, we could have possibly sorted this out, and I wouldn't have to be feeling this horrible sensation in my stomach. I wouldn't have to suffer from this shame, this degradation.

Why did I have to leave him there? He obviously needed help. And he even called out to me..

"_Risa..."_

Oh, so vivid. I can still see that trembling hand, reaching out to me. Begging me.

_Begging me to what?_

Forgive him. Forget. Forget.

If I had helped him...

I shouldn't have ran away from him. I saw the look on his face, but I wanted to run. I was just so scared...

Did he even get out of the forest all right? Is he still trapped there? What about that man? Did he help him get home or...?

That necklace. I hadn't noticed it before. But it glowed. I only saw it with half of my regular eyesight, being so engorged in the mud, but..

I know my eyes weren't tricking me. That pendant was glowing. Why did it do that? Is that where that man came from?

Maybe he's not inside Satoshi's body at all. Maybe he came from that necklace.

No, but wait. Those wings...his wings...came out of _Satoshi_, not the necklace..

Dammit, I can't piece anything together! This is all too sudden, too confusing! Too involved!

What to do? What to think?

I sit up on the bed, cautious so as not to disturb a sleeping Riku by my side. She has her back to turned away from me, wearing an expression of content that is so foreign on my own face. She reaches up to scratch her nose briefly and sighs, returning her arm to it's previous position.

The creaking of the rocking chair has ceased since Dad got a hold of himself, so he no longer requires it. He sleeps in Mom's bedroom now.

Riku is sleeping. So is Dad.

All the more reason to leave this house. No one would catch me.

Deciding to venture out into the night, I slowly slide off of the bed, keeping my gaze on her for any sudden indication of being stirred from her dormant state.

She keeps still for the most part, her chest heaving slowly in and out to the rhythm of her breathing.

So I declared it save to rove about the room.

I inched closer to my dresser with the slow steps of a toddler, licking my lips in silent anticipation. With my hand on the knob of the dresser, I turn around once more to check up on her. Motionless and at peace. Good.

I pull out the drawer and inspect it for a decent shirt. I had a mind to wear black for the occasion; after all, the deeper I blend in, the better. Pulling out a long sleeve turtle neck, I slide it over my night gown, pushing out my thick heap of hair and letting it cascade down my shoulders. My hair looks so black in the moonlight. I wonder why that is.

I dismiss the thought as I pull out another drawer, intent on finding a black pair of sweatpants that Riku usually wears to track. Finding my desired article of clothing in the corner of the box, I don't hesitate to put it on.

* * *

The coolness of the night is freezing me. Even while wearing more suitable clothing it doesn't help much. The wind bites into my body, and the darkness seems to take me into its cold embrace as if wanting to stifle me and never let go. Still I know I can't stop. Or go back for that matter. I just know I have to keep going. Where? I wish I knew. All I can think of is going forward...

After walking for who knows how long, I arrive on a bridge—only to be abruptly halted in my progress. Not because I can't go on due to an obstacle... but because a familiar figure suddenly catches my eye. A figure reciding on the bridge in noble solitude. A figure I was half wanting to see, yet fearing to find... A figure just standing on the bridge as if etched there in marble and somehow brought to life...

I see him upon the bridge. He looks so distant from everything around him I can almost forget my own existence. The water runs beneath our motionless feet, still not loud enough to break the atmosphere of silence or the prison his own thoughts have created on his behalf. In reality, I'm only standing a few feet from him; in my mind, a whole ocean separates us.

Seeing his obscure figure solemnly resting over the bridge is a beautiful sight; my mind does not hesitate to entrance me with his image. Everything blurs into nothing and ceases to be as I begin losing even myself. There is something so supernaturally appealing in the way those jagged, silver strands sway in the wind and shield his shadowy profile. Continuing to stare only seems to deepen the spell.

Then his intentions hit me in one fell swoop.

He peers over the bridge, as if silently pleading to the water to grant him release. He presses his foot against the base of the guard rail, then the other. Slowly, he manages to stand on two feet atop the ledge of the bridge. The only thing standing between him and death has been conquered.

He has his back to me, so I cannot ascertain whether or not he had closed his eyes in relief or anticipation. Nor can I ascertain if he was truly going to jump or not. I made sure to notify him of my presence before I could find that out.

"Satoshi!" I shrieked.

Much to my utter astonishment and overwhelming relief, my outcry did not startle him, nor did it cause him to accidentally titter off the edge. He slowly turned around to face me.

The breeze flowed through him like blood in his veins. His clothes and hair danced freely to the movement, adding to his frightening beauty. I think I can make out a faint trace of that terror illiciting gold in his eyes I had come to dread more than the specter of my mother, but I can't be sure. That faint color was soon replaced by the reflection of the moon in his dismayed eyes.

Now seeing that his suicide attempt was thwarted, he licks his lips with mild apprehension, and lands gracefully on the stone floor of the bridge. His lips contort into the perfect frown, depicting beauty even in despair.

Glimmers of the murderous entity within him sting my thoughts. Now I can feel those hands around my neck once more, as real and suffocating as the first time. It is as if his relentless gaze sent invisible limbs to make an attempt on my life once more.

Every sensation, every feeling, was suddenly brought back from a dormant stage to ebb away at my senses. And all of this torture was accomplished so unintentionally with a single look.

My mind brings words to my mouth, only for them to die soundlessly on my tongue.

The vague surprise in his expression shifts without warning to sheer panic, and I can see him tremble away from me, much to my imminent awe. Satoshi...trembling?

"What are you doing here?" He asks, no longer caring to hide his once concealed trepidation. His breathing begins to escalate, and so does my suspicion that the angel's wrath is simmering inside him. I begin to wonder: can that man see me through Satoshi's eyes? Does he look upon me with utmost abhorrence? Is that hate becoming too intense for Satoshi?

He grasped himself fearfully, whispering, "You can't be here...he...he can't know you're here. He can't know _I'm_ here!"

I take a few steps closer in his direction. He flinches and edges nearer to the guard rails. Shaking his head, he iterated one defiant, "No."

I decided to take a few steps back to ensure his comfort, but he obdurately refused to move from his current position.

I instantly felt ashamed. This is all my fault. I drew his inner demon out. I reawakened his dread, his fear.

It was all my doing.

Then came the persistent thought that _he_ was the one at fault, not me. It couldn't be my fault. I was already suffering from too much guilt as it was. This couldn't be my fault too.

Now convinced that he was at fault, I grew angry at him. That anger gave me the strength to use my mouth. "If you knew he lived inside you...wait. You _knew_! You knew he was inside you all along! That's why you avoided everyone and hardly talked to anyone and glared a-and..." my breaths shortened into fragments gasps as my excitement became too great to bear. I had too many accusations, too many denouncements and too many outbursts to restrain within the confines of my gnarled thoughts. With that understanding came the dwindling desire to censor myself.

And so I continued my senseless scolding.

"Damn you, Satoshi! You put on that act like you wanted to save me from my pain..! Like you wanted to save me from _myself_! But you! You already had issues of your own! Still you allowed me to...to think that..."

Tears materialized at the edges of my eyes. My voice became disfigured and broken as my feelings only intensified. But as soon as I was aware of my state, I started edging away from him. I knew if I didn't distance myself, I would go into a fit. I could attack him out of anger for what that man did to me.

"...To think that I could..._trust _you." I gritted my teeth in bitter regret.

I was torn between my desire for revenge and the notion that he was not at fault for what had happened. He had probably taken precautions against him that ended up failing. The only thing that matters now is that I'm alive and...

No. No, that man tried to kill me! He has a monster living inside him! He's not only dangerous to me, he's a danger to society!

He should just crawl back into his hole and never come back.

My eyes widened. _What? _Crawl into his hole...?

I didn't think that. That wasn't me. No, it's not his fault. He just let his guard down at the wrong time.

That man tried to kill me.

I wanted to love you, Satoshi. I honestly wanted to. I think I still do.

_I don't love him. Crawl back into your hole._

I do love you, Satoshi. I know you love me too.

_Never come back._

A glint in his eyes seemed to tell me something that I truly didn't want to hear: he knew. He knew what I was thinking.

Why did I so foolishly allow myself to sputter that nonsense?

My mind ponders the wisdom of apologizing as he sinks deeper into a state of melancholy that I had, once again, brought upon him.

That's my fault too, isn't it...?

His blue eyes dilate, his arms wound tighter around himself, his frown deepens. Shame embeds itself into his face. He instantly loses the will to look me in the eye. In the instant he breaks eye contact, he mutters with scorn directed at himself: "I'm a fool, Risa."

A fool? Satoshi..why are you calling yourself that? Please, don't...

"I dared to imagine...that I could love you freely." He said darkly.

And just like that, my animation and thoughts were suspended in space.

_Love? _

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Satoshi)

One of my earliest memories of Krad occurred when I was six. I looked in a mirror and saw him standing behind me. He waved cordially at me; at the time, I was ignorant of the monster he really was, so I waved back, thinking I had made a new friend. Someone who could help me though the hard times, someone who would be there when I succumbed to agony. Someone who could save me from the cruelty of school children.

Soon was I to learn that he was not the savior of my childhood; he was the sole destroyer of it.

Through the years, his appearances became more apparent, more taunting. But there were always those instances where he would go through a dormant phase, where he seemed to lose interest in me and disappear for a time. In that interlude, I began to hope. Hope that he would never come back. Believe that he would never come back. I believed.

He soon taught me how foolish it was to indulge in the frivolity of hope and belief.

That absent stage only lasted for a month or two. He would be with me the majority of the year.

So, given all the time I had to spend with him, I took the opportunity to study his behavior. My initial notion was that I could find out what made him tick and turn it against him.

That failed miserably.

His mannerisms, I discovered, were intricate and complicated in the utmost sense. He suffered from extreme mood swings, where he would be content one moment and fire and brimstone the next. It all depended on what went on in that tangled mind of his.

I began to believe, after years of being forced into his company, that there were times where he just couldn't stand to be alone with his own thoughts. I could see that something was eating away at him, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

One day, the answer finally came to me.

It was his loneliness. His loneliness drove him to the highest stages of insanity and back down again. It was truly the wrath of his misery that we were both subject to. And misery loves company.

I was once again reminded of this as I lay in a crumpled heap on the bathroom floor, familiarizing myself with the patterns of the shower curtain. I had been staring blankly into space for hours now. Hours that felt like minutes. I tried not to pass the time with thinking. Tried not to _think_ about thinking.

But the processes of the mind are far more embedded into a human than the most second nature activity, breathing. I can breathe without thinking about it. And I can think without knowing it, too.

He was perturbed by the fact that I was being so motionless; I concluded this once I felt his fingers gliding so smoothly over my shoulder blade, only to wrap themselves around my neck.

My instincts are hard to ignore, but I manage to as I know that he would never take my life without first ensuring that his own was not threatened. I keep my hands willfully at my sides, waiting for him to detect the absence of my fear.

Predictably, this only makes him tighten his grip, instantly depleting my air supply. I tried to hold in my breath and suspend my need to breathe, praying that he would loosen his clasp before I fell unconscious.

I thought he had to; after all, he does harbor that interrogating look in his eye. I suspect he wants communication, possibly just one word responses.

My speculation proves correct when he loosens his fingers. "Why so stupefied, Satoshi? I warned you of it's flaw, did I not?"

I see he's not beating around the bush.

Before I could reply, his choke hold grip forces me into silence.

"The White Wings Lament is meant to protect others from my fury. Unfortunately for you and your little whore, it's powers are not everlasting; it is only temporary. Time has certainly accomplished it's deed, and year upon year its powers grow weaker.

"I am not like this troublesome little trinket, you devious fool. I am everlasting. From the moment of my birth, my life was meant to be ceaseless. This is the one simple thing you fail to understand: I will be here...always...until you die a miserable old man.."

"No!" I gasped, defying his words.

"...And soon enough, another poor soul will take your place. Undoubtedly, he will be one of your progeny." He chuckled mercilessly, wiping the abominable tears off my cheeks and licking them from the tip of his finger.

"No!"

"Yes!" He persisted, with renewed urgency. "What happened was all your fault and you know it!"

"No.." I began to weep, much to my immediate disgust and boundless shame.

Krad chuckled. "You cannot rid yourself of me. Never. And should you kill me, you shall die as well. Remember that."

"No!"

"Remember..." He materializes into thin air as does his voice, leaving me to cry here on the floor. Leaving me to my own devastating thoughts.

"No.." I reiterated, at the time incapable of saying anything more. I covered my face and shook my head. It was the only thing within my power to do.

_Always?_ It was inconceivable.

* * *

All throughout the day, Risa and I failed to even acknowledge the existence of one another. The classes were hours of silent pain; the only choice I had left was to resign myself to torturous contemplation.

And yet the clock still ticks for me, to drive me insane.

That's right. I'm running out of time.

"Are you ever going to eat something besides bread and juice? No wonder you're so skinny." Daisuke commented, shaking his head.

I narrowed my eyes. "That sounds like something your mother would say."

He brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin in the small valley between them. "Yeah, I guess so. Mom's always telling me to pack more things in my lunch, always saying I'm skinny, so...yeah, I do sound like her. She's rubbing off on me, I guess."

I stared blankly into the blue sky, trying to distance myself from reality. Daisuke knows I hate small talk; if I needed to be unceremoniously thrust into the company of another human being, I'd prefer they discuss things of interest to me.

He perked his head up with sudden curiosity. "Wait—I remember now. I wanted to talk to you about something," he began, turning to face me with avid interest, "The whole school is talking about it!" Daisuke continued urgently, "Risa comes to school with red hand marks on her neck and no one knows what happened to her! Please don't tell me that--"

"Daisuke..." I sighed in defeat, placing my hands on my forehead. I can't do this. Damn it all, I can't do this. Don't interrogate me, please.

"Look, you have the school on your side mostly...your fan girls would never believe that you have the capacity to hurt a woman without solid evidence." Daisuke grew stern. "But I know better."

I had my head in my lap, trying to drone out his voice. I couldn't be driven to tears, not here. I was already weak enough as it is. Why did I hope that I could win against him? Why did I pursue her?

Why must he berate me too?

"I know exactly what went wrong, and Dark is very angry with you for letting Krad hurt Risa. She could have died."

"What more should I have done? I already took the precautions...I don't understand why.." I mumbled, my fists clenching at my sides.

"Dark said that you should have consulted him first. If you had asked him about the necklace instead of just taking it--"

My head shot up as I felt anger rise my veins, not pointed toward Daisuke, but that cocky, burdensome thief inside him. "Well, you tell Dark that in case he hasn't realized as of yet, I'm an Hikari: my sole purpose in existing is to capture him and put him in a nice little box for the rest of eternity, _not_ to consult him on magical devices." I seethed.

"He knows that; he was just looking out for your happiness." He frowned.

My eyes widened and a scornful laugh erupted from my dry throat. "_My_ happiness? Is this some kind of joke? If it is, tell him I think it's funny."

"I wouldn't be surprised if Risa called the cops on me." I continued, once I was struck by the humiliation of being arrested posed, "If not, I'm sure either her father or Riku will take action."

Daisuke crossed his arms. "Let's hope that she doesn't resort to that. It'll jeopardize your future immensely. Do you want me to talk to her about it?"

I immediately shook my head. "Goes without saying, Daisuke." I mumbled.

"No, really, I'm sure she'll understand if you explain it." My foolish friend said hopefully, "She already knows that I'm Dark. She...actually found out...right after her mom died."

His red eyes suddenly averted to the ground in shame. "I remember I got into an argument with Dark that night about it. I said he was really cruel to say something like that to her, especially when she looked so sad. But he said that he had to say it to her eventually...best not to...postpone it.."

"Say what?"

"That he didn't love her."

I was overcome with mild surprise. So she wasn't only mourning over her mother, I see.

"You could say that Dark was kinda...being considerate of you." Daisuke shyly smiled. "He would never admit to--"

"Feeling sorry for me, eh?" I returned the smile.

A blush graced his cheeks, as it frequently does. "N-no, not like that!" He stuttered.

"You know, this whole Krad incident is inconvenient in more ways than one," I bitterly interjected, "If Dark actually took the initiative to clear the ground for me, and then something like _this_ happens...well, this blows."

"There isn't much time left." He stated, grasping my arm, "I suggest you try again."

"He threatened to kill her." I said, despondent. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I don't want to talk about this anymore." I stood up and gathered my paper bag, tossing it into a nearby trashcan. "I'm going."

"But, Satoshi.." He trailed off.

"I'm going to die eventually. It's a reality I must except." I said, my back turned to him as I opened the door and peered down the darkened steps leading into the hallway. "I just hope that, when the time comes, I'll be able to take him with me."

Daisuke could only stare.

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Author's POV)

Daisuke ran his finger along the length of the window ledge, lazily peering into the darkening sky. He couldn't help but be worried about Satoshi, especially since he had finally broke after a failed love tryst with Risa and lost all hope.

How could he possibly improve this situation? It obviously wasn't going to get any better now that Satoshi has given up.

"_Daisuke.."_ Dark emerged within the depth of his mind, faintly startling him from his pondering state.

"Yeah?" He replied listlessly, his eyelids drooping in despondency. He wasn't looking forward to Dark's scolding. Damn Dark. Always acting like he knows everything.

"_I can hear what you're thinking, you know."_ Dark teemed with anger. _"And no, I wasn't going to yell at you. I don't have time to argue with you."_

His tamer was surprised. "You mean, you're not going to lecture me about the relationship between the Hikaris and the Niw--"

"_No. What I have to say is far more important than that."_ Dark interrupted, crossing his arms. _"And I'm really, really serious about this, Dai."_

The redhead rolled his eyes with disinterest. Yeah right. Since when has Dark been serious about anything?

The following sentence took him completely by storm:

"_I know how we can save Satoshi."_

"What?! You're kidding!" Daisuke boomed, standing up instantly. "Tell me!"

"_Alright, alright! Quiet down, dammit!"_ The thief shouted, _"And you better not interrupt me while I'm explaining, alright?"_

Daisuke nodded happily, leaping onto the bed to hear what his other half had to say. Now it was Dark who rolled his eyes, sighing with annoyance.

"_What I have in mind all depends upon the power of the White Wings Lament,"_ Dark began, pacing back in forth thoughtfully in a black abyss in his tamer's mind, _"Now, if we want this plan to work, we have to fully understand said object, got it?"_

Daisuke nodded once more, growing impatient with the passing of every second.

"_Now, the White Wing's Lament is a device that is meant to repel Krad and keep him inside his tamer's body for as long as the 'duration period' allows. The duration period is how long the pendant can successfully keep him in. As Satoshi found out in an unfortunate way, the pendant's magic is dwindling; Krad undoubtedly knows this and sees no threat in it any longer, like he used to."_

"_Call me crazy, but I think it's a good thing that Satoshi decided to give up. That way, he won't use the pendant anymore. It only has so much magic left in it. Thanks to him, the road is now paved for us to take action."_

Daisuke moaned, resting his chin on the underside of his palm. Would Dark just get to the point already?

"_Aside from preventing Krad's emergence in his tamers, the pendant is specifically designed to protect the human who wears it from Krad, even if they do not harbor him in their body. Rio Hikari, Satoshi's mother, was saved from his wrath on several occasions thanks to this property."_

"_Knowing that it can repel Krad and protect human life, we can now use this to our advantage."_ A smile creeped up his face, lighting up the rest of his features. By seeing Dark's assured expression, he soon grew more elevated. He could already see where this was going. And it looked like it was going to work. _"So, now, Daisuke...the time has come for me to explain my plan."_

"Thank goodness!" Daisuke exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He was ready for action. "Shoot!"

"_First things first,"_ Dark said sharply, waving an authoritative finger at his tamer, _"We __need to have a little talk with Riku."_

(Exeunt)

* * *

(Satoshi)

A day later, I received a rather peculiar letter. From whom, you ask?

Well, that's obvious. The Phantom Thief Dark; none other.

What distinguished it from the other letters I recieved was the lettering in red cursive in the archaic english style. It reminded me of Leroux's Phantom of the Opera, who sent his trademark letters also in cursive, red ink (though the font was never specified) in order to receive his monthly indulgence of 20,000 francs.

What disturbed me initially was the fact that it was sent directly to me, and not the police station, which is usually it's default destination. I began to percieve that Dark and the vunerable Daisuke had sent this as an attempt to rid me of Krad somehow. My stomach churned at the thought of this immediate deduction, but I could think of no other reason, no other way this could fall into my mailbox without some arcane intrigue behind it.

I had a mind to foil it.

I didn't need to deal with Krad's wrath, as we are already on bad terms with eachother; he sees that little rendevous I had with Risa in the meadow as a sort of plot to get rid of him. In truth, I had never considered it; I just wanted Krad restrained by the power of the pendant while I finally had some fun in my admittingly boring life.

But I digress. Allow me to reveal the contents of the letter before I stray too far from the subject. I had forgotten to mention that I had not opened the letter yet. The aforementioned theory was only my thoughts upon seeing it.

After splitting the seal with the underside of my finger, my eyes widened as I read it's brief, concise contents:

_I will steal the "Void of Silence" at midnight. _

_Yours truly, Dark._

My first theory? This has to be a joke.

_At the Police Station..._

"No, it's not a joke, Satoshi," said Kei, skimming through the files in his cabinet, "I had it checked out today. It's legit."

"I wasn't doubting it's legitimacy." I stated, "I was doubting the fact that he would even come near that thing, much less _steal_ it."

Kei interposed. "The Void suddenly reopened. If we leave it alone, it could do some major damage. It's a black hole, you know. It'll suck up this museum in a heartbeat."

"I know." I said in my usual bored monotone as I shoved my hands in my pockets, leaning lazily against the door of his office. "But there's something I don't understand. Why would he want to steal this? It's easy enough for us to seal it all over again; once that's done, the Void won't open for another 50 years."

"You forget, Satoshi...the Void of Silence is a dangerous weapon. A weapon that we can use to our advantage. He doesn't want that. That's why he's stealing it. So he can continue his theivery uninterrupted."

I came upon the dawn of realization. "I suggest--"

"We leave it open." Kei smiled, tearing the words right of out of my mouth. "I know. I'm glad we think alike. We're very close to capturing him—all thanks to this work of art. Now, all we need to do is lure him into it."

"Oh, by the way, I sent that letter to you. It came to the police station first, though, as it always does. My plan is, while we capture Dark and have him taken care of, why not take action against the incompetency of the police force?"

I rubbed my chin with my thumb as I mused. "Hmm. Good thought. So, I imagine you won't notify them tonight?"

"Exactly my intentions, my son." He nodded, pleased at my quick conclusions. "Rather than relying on Detective Saehara and his so-called "men", we can devise a plan together. Two great minds can surely overpower the wit of one Phantom Thief, no?"

"Daisuke isn't dumb either, contrary to your beliefs." I said a little more sharply than I wanted to, "Niether is Emiko Niwa and the experienced old man...Daisuke's grandfather, Daiki. He was Dark 40 years before the current generation. He's probably teaching him all the tricks he knows."

"I'm glad you've taken that into account, Satoshi. But I've seen Dark personally, and he said that no one knows about this except himself and his tamer, this Niwa boy who goes to your school. He also told me not to involve anyone else."

I gasped. "You...talked to Dark?"

Kei nodded, "Indeed. Last night, actually. I was coming home from a long day at HQ when I saw him standing by the steps. There was no one out that late, of course, so no one else saw him. He hand delivered the message to me."

"Why would he tell you that no one else is involved?" I mumbled, suddenly growing extremely suspicious. My stepfather couldn't be in on this too, could he? No, he wouldn't betray me like that. He wants Dark in a cage just as much as I do. But why...?

"I'm not sure. One can only assume it's all part of his plot. And you haven't considered the possibility that he could be lying."

"I _know_ he could be lying...but what use would that be? How could he use a small fib like that against us?"

My stepfather laughed, "Hell, he might even be as sick of the police as we are! He might not want to get them in the know...no wait. Here's an idea: maybe he wanted to ensure the area was cleared when he sought the piece. Should something go wrong, no one would be near the building so--"

"No one would die...except maybe us two." I said bitterly, "I find it hard to believe he would want to save the police and watching spectators from being sucked up into a black hole, but...I guess he isn't that heartless. Maybe he even wanted to save Mrs. Niwa and Daisuke's grandfather. I'm sure they watch his exploits from afar, anyhow."

Kei sighed. "Satoshi...you've been through a lot. I think it would be best for you not to read too much into this. No matter how masterful Dark is at theivery, he still is a simple person. I doubt he would think of anything more elaborate than just stealing the Void and disappearing into the night. That's what he's always done up until now."

I bit my lower lip in frustration. "I want to agree with you."

"Then please do so," he said, smiling. "Dark likes a rigid routine when it comes to his job. I doubt that he'd switch anything around for a piece like the Void of Silence. The Sage of Sleep is just as dangerous as what he wants to steal now, but he managed to escape with it."

"I_ am_ worried about him alternating his 'routine', but my primary concern is Daisuke. You know I don't want to hurt him."

The older man slouched near his desk, closing his eyes as he plunged himself into thought. In a moment, he opened his eyes. "I've got it."

"Shoot." I said quickly.

"Let's use Krad."

(Exeunt)


	10. Cry To Heaven

Hello, everyone! Here it is: the finale! I've busted my butt and consulted the magnificent Berlioz all in the hopes of giving this story a good ending. Enjoy the read and please don't forget to review! I would appreciate everyone's thoughts.

* * *

_I hear the water drip from the faucet.  
It's sweetly falling in tune.  
I'm gently closing the closet.  
I fall to the floor,  
And crawl to my room.  
The thought of ending it soon...  
Just let me sleep in my room._

_Hear me cry! Cry! Cry!  
I hear a knock at the front door.  
Don't come in!  
I try to look at you,  
But I can't stop shaking.  
Leave me alone. Just go away.  
Mother, I'm so scared._

_Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone,  
They're wrapped around me and you.  
All is quiet but the drop of my gun.  
I want to belong...to someone...  
But maybe life's not for everyone.._

_- "Black Orchid" by Blue October_

_

* * *

_

(Risa)

I was possessed by a ephemeral reverie.

What distinguished it from all the other dreams I had during my lifetime was that it brought me heart breaking solace. Such a solace I knew I never would never feel in real life. The nepenthe that reality did not grant me. The Balm of Gilead.

I did not know the gender of the being, but now that I reflect upon it, I feel it best to give him the default sex: male. There was nothing in his manner or countenance that I had ever found in a man or a woman, but I felt this was a love only a man could give me.

His hands were softer than silk, if it can even be compared to silk. His skin simply immersed itself into mine, and we had become one in that world, where ever we were. I didn't know nor give notice to anything but the touch and the voice...of something greater than the universe, something greater than emotion, something more intense than my misery.

But this is impossible to imagine. At least, to one who had never experienced it.

Yet it had happened to me, and I could swear upon my life that it was real. One who is enthralled in a dream rarely acknowledges it as being so, except when they are near the end. But if I had died right then and there, then my existence would have ended in that incessant cloud of euphoria.

If only it were as incessant as it seemed.

These impossible, white fingers that were wrapped around my painless body was something of divine exaltation. It cannot be described as being anything else. And I had shifted from the world to some other place, unfathomable in the highest sense. Nirvana? I would not call it so. Eden is even more unworthy. I feel that universe must be kept pure, nameless. It was far above a title, and so was that improbable man.

No, he was not a man. He was an angel without wings.

Without wings. But he didn't need them to bring me any higher. I was above the world. I was beyond that terror. Even the terror...the one that seized me effortlessly. I was above it.

He whispered in my tendrils a tongue I did not recognize, nor understand. But it conveyed a message I understood purely: He loved me.

_"I'm sorry."_

How had that euphony transcended time and space itself, so as to say those words? With regret? The angel...with no wings...felt regret.

My eyes slid open. I knew this world was ending, though it was still bright white all around me. I knew it was ending. But what was he sorry for? What had he done but give me the sweetest mercy and grant me an impossible release? What had an angel to atone for?

_"Sorry for what?"_

My voice seemed to break the atmosphere in two. The sky had darkened to a disturbing grey, and an emptiness that had became part of me returned. I had lost it. This thing. This world were Eden and Nirvana were only meaningless names. I had lost it. The sky darkened. It darkened. Now it was black.

Black.

Was he still holding me?

I didn't feel his lips part, nor did I feel his soft breath against the crown of my head.

A stinging sensation gripped my toes, advancing to the rest of me with hellish speed. Dread held me.

_"Everything."_

The sky lightened again. I didn't desire it. It wasn't the light of Eden, nor the luminescence of Nirvana, nor the white of that nameless place.

The haunt of tangibility stung me.

My eyes opened. I no longer knew that place.

With the tangible came that emptiness that abased my spirit time and time again. It was something I had no power to deny, and I hated that I could not fight it away from me. It was just so embedded into my consciousness. Like returning to your lonely home where the lights are never on. It thrives there.

I feel that dress around me, though it doesn't seem to help. It no longer has her smell. God, it's like killing her all over again. She's gone all over again.

Having lost something I had only begun to covet more than anything at the moment, I began to cry. Soundlessly, I cried. Before I had time to realize it, I felt the searing warmth of the liquid slide down my cheeks. I opened my mouth to speak something, but the words did not form. I suddenly felt sick. I had not the slightest idea of why this nausea would suddenly assail me, but at once I knew it was ominous.

I had been sick to my stomach before, when I heard the ringing. The ringing of the phone. And the clock.

I felt myself dipping into slumber again. And the clock...

The bed shifted. I was startled awake. I had a mind to turn around and see if Riku was alright; she usually didn't move like that in her sleep unless she was having a nightmare. But I didn't move. I just listened.

I felt her palm on the bed. It felt like she was getting off. Probably for a drink or the bathroom. I dismissed it.

But it soon came back to haunt my suspicions. She was walking silently about the room; I could hear her little footsteps going this way and that, as if she were unsure of herself.

Peering over at the clock, I can see that it's 11:30 pm. Why would she be up so late? She usually never wakes up at this time..

She shuffles around for clothes. I can hear the soft fabric sliding against the bureau, and the wood floor underneath us creaking slightly. She thinks I can't hear, but I can.

The door closes, almost noiselessly. When I hear her trotting down the steps instead of walking down the hallway, where the bathroom is located, I grow suddenly nervous. I prop myself up quickly and slide my shoes out from underneath the bed, slipping them on without so much as thinking about socks. Then I listen.

My nervousness shifts to shame, and I begin to doubt myself. I insert my finger in the crevice of my shoe to slip it off, should my worries be misplaced. I sat on the bed silently and waited to hear Riku's mouse-like footsteps enter the kitchen, but to my disappointment and concern, the front door closed. The sound was small, but the echo reiterated through my mind, setting me into a bout of confusion. Why would she be outside so late at night?

Flinging from the bed so fast as even to surprise myself, I snatched the jacket off of the surface of the bureau and tied up my hair in a messy bun. I threw the hood over my profile and slowly descended down the steps.

I treaded cautiously; my father is not a heavy sleeper—never has been. But I remember that when Mom died, he didn't even grace himself with the gift of sleep. He ignored the human necessity to rest and sat on that rocking chair, determined to fly by eternity in a soundless cloud of grief.

In his eyes, he was not allowed to sleep—every moment of every day should be spent thinking about her, brooding over her. It was his sole duty to lament forever. They had been brought together through marriage, and separated through death. He felt it honorable: allowing himself to disintegrate was doing her reverence, he told me.

But now he sleeps soundly. A brief thought of him dreaming of her flickers in my head, but the notion is quick to disappear from my train of thought. My sister is now the only cause for consideration. I need to find her. Again.

Next thing I know, I'm peeking out through the curtain, watching her fade into the night. My insides are starting to act up, my legs getting jittery. I need to follow her. She's disappearing..

When she is gone, I open the door and step outside. The moist air of the night graces me, introducing itself into my agitated system. It's soothing, and I wish I could stay. But I know I can't stand here on this porch and wait for her. God knows what she's up to.

Running now. No, more like jogging. Occasionally, I duck behind a car or slide behind a tree. I can see her now. She's walking steadily on, headed somewhere. I'm subtly grateful of the fact that she is ignorant of being followed.

Where does she get the confidence? Walking all alone on a night like this, where the mentally disturbed are sure to appreciate the atmosphere, knowing that somewhere, a lonely young woman waits for her fate under a glowing streetlight.

I can't stand these thoughts, which only help to propel me into action. So I carve out my own path, parallel—but close to hers. Hopefully, she won't know. I'm the predator..

Walking down the street grows tiring after a while, so my mind serves me entertainment, though still not completely separating me from reality.

We separated only when we were playing hide and go seek. She knew that if I tagged along, then she would be found. Riku was reclusive then, so she was always weary of losing a game where the sole purpose was to hide oneself. I couldn't be near her, so I wept in the closet. Just hoping that Mom would find me, and I wouldn't be alone anymore.

When we found Riku, it was in a dark, dark place..

Hiding in the basement. Waiting patiently. Waiting never to be discovered.

When we found her, she was disappointed. I was relieved. I thought she had been eaten. I thought she had been taken by a monster, never to come back. That monster thrived in the basement. Such nostalgic pleasure that memory is to me now..

My train of thought diverts from memories long past to her current occupation.

She walks on. The persistent fear of losing her drives me to carve an obscure path near her, avoiding streetlights, soundlessly ducking behind cars, and blending into trees. Occasionally, I'll even lay underneath a car. I only have to do that when she turns around, though.

A twitch. A clenching of the fingers. A sudden motion of the head. She's getting paranoid...

_One._

I descend into the shadows.

_Two._

I duck behind a trashcan.

_Three._

I attempt to stand, but in the range of her eyesight, it cannot be done. I return to my crouched position on the other side of the trashcan. That's the third time she looked behind her. She really knows I'm here, doesn't she? I feel exposed regardless of where I am. A silent predator that has been detected.

Predator..

I know that if that word crossed her mind, she would shiver in fear and quicken her pace. Which is exactly what she did. Dammit, she's going far. Wait..where is she going?

Abandoning the trashcan, I follow, so weary its beginning to irritate me. If she could only let go of this suspicion..

Some fifteen minutes of silent stalking creep by, seeming like hours. I grow tired and agitated all over again. I could be in a warm bed right about now, but again—the second time—she forces me to lurk around the city at night, like some kind of lethargic Sherlock Holmes trying to solve the mystery of the wandering Riku. Where am I going? Where is she headed?

Ugh. Am I just so bored that I'm—

She suddenly stops in her tracks and, before she can whip around and catch me in the act, I lept into a bush, emitting only a rustle or two. Very, very subtle rustles. Could have been the wind and not me, for all she knew.

Sadly, this does not satisfy her. She knows I'm here, but without a validated conviction, it's only maddening speculation. Only a perilous game. Through the leaves, I see her face contort into anger and helplessness. She flees down the street.

And just like that, I lost her.

I could call myself every name in the book and berate myself ceaselessly until I find her again, but I know that's not going to help the present situation. I bite my lip and slam my palm on my forehead, muttering curses and self-loathing denouncements anyhow.

I must have shaken my head a dozen times before I mustered the resolve to stand up and walk around. My stealth and cautiousness now absent, I jog around the neighborhood, suddenly wanting to just find her. When I do, she's really going to hear it—from me and Dad.

I decide it would be better that, even if I no longer harbor the desire to hide, I could at least do my abandoned purpose a favor and avoid the streetlights. That way, if I feel like hiding again, my position was never threatened in the first place.

The darkness faintly scares me. I try not to let my imagination run wild. I tell myself that Azumano is generally a crime-free place, excluding the occasional purse-snatcher or a fist fight at a local tavern. I don't have anything of value, so...

_Plip._

What was that? Oh, no. Damn it all, don't tell me—

_Plip. Plip._

Man. Rain...now? This can't be happening. The last time I was searching for her, it rained. I was fortunate enough to actually find her and avoid a cold at the same time. What if I'm not as fortunate this time?

I seethed under the depressive tempest, looking up to the sky with scorn. But my discontented expression quickly fades when I see...a black angel. Soaring high, allowing black feathers to disengage from his wings and waft down to earth. I stand there gaping at him for a few moments. All I can label him with is "black angel". Then his name comes back to me, and my insides churn.

Dark.

He's heading to the bell tower, I realize. The bell tower that overlooks the city. And then I remember. He has not been active since my mother died, Daisuke's state having hindered his work. But during his thieving days, he would seek refuge at the bell tower. By the time the police reached the top, he was already gone. It's not hard to put two and two together.

Riku disappears, and Dark just happens to appear in the sky? They're meeting at the bell tower, I know. Now I have to find out exactly what they are meeting up for.

An immense swirl of emotions makes me tremble_._ I grasp my forearms and hug myself, not sure whether to feel relief or disgust.

_"I'm sorry, Risa."_

If I find Riku, and she's headed to the same place as him, then it's likely that I will have to confront him. And what do I say? No hard feelings here, buddy. It's alright, I understand. You ditched me for my sister and so did Daisuke. Smooth.

Running now. No, more like sprinting. What I'm feeling—it's not understandable. It isn't right to feel this way. I want Riku to be happy. I want her to be happy with Daisuke. Just because a man I once loved shares his body doesn't mean that I can hate them now. No, I'm past that stage. I'm done hating my sister. I was done when we held hands in the park, when we embraced. I can't be afraid. Jealousy? Why would I be feeling this? Because he's following Riku and not me? Is that it?

Or is it that...I'm still in love with him?

I shake my head. I damn myself to hell for the third time tonight.

Get your mind off of this. Okay, Risa, ask yourself questions. Distract yourself. No more anger, no more envy, nor more hate. Questions...

Alright, I've got one. According to my theory, Dark and Riku are meeting up. Why? I don't know. Here's another: It is commonplace for Dark to notify the police, who in turn notify the public—so why is no one at the bell tower? While it does make sense for a Phantom Thief to elude attention so he can seize his prize undetected, why would he start now?He loves the publicity... I mean, he is stealing something, isn't he? Or...is this just more proof that he's going to the bell tower for the purpose of meeting my sister only?

Too many of them. Too many questions are whirring in my head. But I don't know what irritates me more—the unanswered questions or the possible answers. I tremble. I don't want to see Dark again. No, I don't want to. I'm so scared. He...

God, I don't want him to look at me ever again. I don't hate him. I don't love him. At least I don't think I do. Do I? Don't look at me, Dark. Please.

_"I'm sorry, Risa."_

Just shut up. Please.

_"I'm sorry, Risa."_

_"...I just love you so much..."_

I love you too. I'm sorry too. Please, leave me alone.

Mom, make him go away. I try to see you without shaking. No, please go away. You make me feel worse. It's not that I don't love you! I love you, God, I just..

I stop. I kneel, and cover my forehead with my hands. Grief. Just go away. I don't want to see you, Dark. Mom, I want you to leave me..

Good God. I'm having a psychotic episode.

I feel like banging my head on the pavement to drone out the voices. It's weird, undesirable, unpredictable, unwanted..

I thought I was over this. I thought reuniting with Riku, Dad and Daisuke would kill the misery, but..

The feeling I felt...in that dream. It will never come back to me. Only these voices. Apologizing. Proclaiming. I don't want it...I don't...

Is it because I haven't mended my wounds with Dark? If we...see each other...will he...

If I see him, will it help me? Is it just temporary fear? And what about Sato—

I peer up at the sky with realization: Satoshi. I have to make amends with him, too, don't I?

The tower stands before me. I stand up, take a deep breath. I know that he's there. He has to be. Whether or not Dark is stealing something or having some secret love tryst with my sister—it doesn't matter. Satoshi would find out somehow. I know him. He would come to the bell tower...to protect the art work of his family—and capture him. So he's there, too.

I take another deep breath and jog up to my destination. Just trying not to throw up...

I don't want to see you either, Satoshi.

_(Exeunt)_

_

* * *

_

_Author's POV_

* * *

The fog embraces the city. There is no disorder here, no feeling of discontent. A peace pervades. The Phantom Thief appreciates this. It's a good feeling—loosing oneself in quiet beauty.

But there's a job to be done. All memory and everything evoking an improper sentiment is banished to the back of his mind. One thought is potent—never leaving. The will to see this through is immaculate, unmarred. The decision is made, and there's no going back.

No going back.

Daisuke, assaulted by nausea and ill at heart, weeps inside. It's not an easy thing to accept. Though Dark told him that no good comes without sacrifice, he wishes that weren't true.

The words spoken between them were few. Dark had tried reasoning, tried anger and belittling—until he knew that his tamer was not to be consoled. The very idea was revolting, enough to make someone like Daisuke heave. So Dark decided the best remedy was silence.

Though the damage between them was almost irrevocable, he knew he didn't want to end it with this bitterness, this enmity. It wasn't fair to either of them, but centuries of pain had taught Dark that happiness is not something everyone is promised. He was one of the pariahs. Nothing was promised to him but a life of stealing. The people he hurt, the tears he drew up—it wasn't relevant.

But his creator bestowed upon him a sympathetic heart. Knowing this, why was empathy so forbidden to him? Why was it so complicated and needlessly involved to feel this way for Daisuke—to hate himself, and to have to be faced with this decision?

And why did Daisuke have to be entitled to this hopelessness and pain because of it?

The door stands before him. He grabs the knob, squeezing tightly. Not wanting to let go and, instead, wanting to escape time. He wanted to escape his body. He wanted to leave Daisuke to himself. Maybe if that was plausible, he wouldn't hate him as much.

But there was someone waiting for him on the other side. Someone who hated him more than Daisuke did. Someone who wanted him dead. There was someone inside of him too—trapped. That was who this was for. There was no other way. If Risa can't...

_I don't want to think about her_, Daisuke thought. _Please, just open the door.._

Dark bit his lip. The words surprised him, made him flinch. Reluctantly, he obeyed.

Were those his last words to him? Was that his goodbye?

Krad stood leisurely by an elongated window, playing with his tresses. The Void Of Silence was displayed against the wall, hung up and dormant. Dark tried to repress the need to vomit.

Krad continued to gently sift his fingers through his gold hair. He sneered at Dark, glaring with eyes of abhorrence. So disgusting, the sight of him. Especially that face—why did he have to look so forlorn? Why not come in with that smug countenance so it would be easier to kill him? He almost felt sorry. It seemed his nemesis wasn't up to fighting tonight. Where would the victory be in that?

This should be a quick kill, he deducted, snickering.

Dark closed the door. His eyes grew into a cold stare. Completely focused, unwavering. There was nothing on Earth more important than this moment. The universe sat right here, right now, waiting to end. To end...

Daisuke's heart thudded in his chest. Dark internally smiled, albeit sadly. He apologized to his other half for the last time.

"Dark...you undesirable wretch. Before I end your life, I want to know why you look this way. Is it that...you know you are going to die by my hand?" He murmured, tilting his head while he feigned curiosity. Yes, he did know that was exactly what had his other half looking so solemn. But it was quite unexpected. Never before had he been exposed to that expression on his face. Why would he accept his fate so suddenly now?

"You'll know." Dark replied, clenching his fists.

Having been denied the desired answer, Krad formed a ball of fiery energy in his hand. He held it up to Dark's view, and lunged it at him as one would a baseball. Dark gasped and lept from his spot, hitting his back against the wall violently. The bust of a Greek general toppled over from its base and smashed into thousands of pieces.

Without a moment's thought, Dark snatched a portion of the general's head and threw it at Krad. Krad was momentarily confused by it, though fast enough to escape it in the nick of time. The rough stone grazed him, leaving only a mere scratch in it's wake. How impetuous of him, he thought, trying to hurt him with something so feeble as a chunk of stone.

Dark stood and sprinted to the far right of the room, pulling out a black feather from his coat and muttering some old Latin spell, causing it to light up. He released it and, like an arrow, it shot through the air and veered straight to Krad. The very second it touched a lock of his gold hair, it exploded and sent him flying back. He crashed into a window, but grasped the edges of the sill so as not to completely lose his balance. Krad growled and yanked the pieces of glass from his forearms and back, squinting only once or twice.

Aware that Dark was obviously hiding behind a column, Krad pulled out a feather and licked his lips, preparing for the fast paced utterance of a far more potent spell. This one would follow Dark until it touched anything connected to him—clothes included. It could not be repelled nor destroyed until it hit it's target.

Dark tried to regulate his breathing from behind the column, muttering words to three feathers clutched in his hand, while also hugging himself to keep from shaking. If only Daisuke would keep still! But the aggrieved young boy was in tears now, praying for deliverance from this battle. This isn't going to work, he reiterated, peeving his alter ego.

_Be quiet, dammit!_ Dark yelled_. Your stupid praying is going to knock off my concentration—we'll both be dead in a matter of minutes!_

Daisuke quieted himself grudgingly.

The very moment Dark revealed himself from his hiding place, they were both muttering their respective spells, releasing their feathers and allowing them to seek out their targets. The three feathers whizzed through the air like bullets, though only one of them hit Krad. He screamed and fell to the floor, clutching his chest. While he held his wound and tried to alleviating the bleeding, Dark jumped into the air and allowed his wings to materialize, to which Daisuke screamed in pain. It was always so painful when With was not there to assist in flight.

Much to Dark's dismay, the feather only flew up and dove straight for his chest. He dodged, but alas, he knew what type of feather this was. He tried to expose a spot that, if struck, would not be life-threatening.

The feather finally grazed the bottom of his boot and reacted immediately, bursting into a frenzy of smoke and flame. He also hit the ground, resounding in a loud thud. The smoke did not dispensate after the feather's detonation however, and only spread out and enveloped the atmosphere.

Now blinded by an foreboding, reddish fog, Dark stood and tried to edge himself away from what felt like approaching footsteps. He backed into the wall and closed his eyes, feeling around for his feathers. Krad chuckled, not affected at all by the miasma that so effortlessly blinded his opponent. Dark grasped one and tried to keep his muttering as low as possible, so as not to reveal his vulnerable state.

Damn these things. They took so much longer than energy blasts to initiate. It was agonizing. But he knew he couldn't use energy blasts for this fight.

If Krad were to be hit, his nemesis would surely lose his life or at least be fatally injured...but then, so would Satoshi.

_It's not fair_, he childishly thought.

He decided it would be far wiser to keep the feather at bay until Krad found him. In his favor, the fog had begun to dissipate, leaving him with Krad standing just inches from him. The moment they realized each other, Dark released the feather and jumped back.

It was a direct hit—which only made Krad's agitated chest bleed more and open new wounds. He stumbled backward and clumsily threw another energy blast, though it's power was significantly less due to it's small size. The blast crashed into Dark's leg and threw him off balance. Daisuke and Dark cried out simultaneously.

The smallest splatter of blood hit the Void of Silence, sliding noiselessly down the smooth surface of the glass. Unseen by either combatant, the blood was absorbed and the face of the mirror turned black.

Suddenly, a harsh wind began to draw them in.

Their eyes trailed to the mirror, which had opened up a large black hole and was beginning to suck in everything within it's proximity. The columns gave out and collapsed. Krad struggled to stand, trying to hide from the wind.

The doors flung open. _"No!"_ someone screamed.

Dark's eyes widened. It—it can't be.

No! He told Riku to wait outside! This wasn't happening!

Dark sprang up from his position on the ground and limped frantically toward the entrance, initially intending to push her out and close the door. But when he reached his destination, the girl standing at the entrance, holding onto the door for dear life...was not Riku.

"Risa?!" He cried, incredulous.

Her hair and night gown blew wildly about her, and her eyes were filled with urgency and perplexion. "Dark! What's happe—_look out_!" She pointed behind him and let out a scream.

Krad tackled him to the ground, grasping for his neck and intending to rip the flesh from his throat like a wild animal. Dark cried out and repelled him with an energy blast of his own—brought out from fear and senseless panic.

Krad flew back from the impact and slid down the floor, nearing the void with each passing second. He clawed at anything durable and within reach, while Dark did the same. Predictably, it proved futile, and they were both drawn in. Sensing blood and strengthened by the smell of it, the Void only grew larger and descended out of the confines of the mirror, tearing the walls to pieces.

In the midst of this insurgence of debris, a small portion of stone hit Risa squarely in the chest, knocking the wind right from her lungs. She fell back and landed so hard on the floor the impact caused her to black out.

Before Krad and Dark were completely devoured, however, the pendant around Krad's neck lit up and detached itself from the chain. The light burned with the intensity of fire. The sprinklers on the ceiling activated and water spurted everywhere.

Daisuke and Satoshi felt themselves being drawn out of their bodies, out of the world. They felt their skin tearing apart, detaching from some sticky, painful mold. Being blind and unable to move, they panicked and tried to scream—but they could not speak. Water, unbearable heat, a raging wind—that was all they knew. Everything else did not exist.

Dark and Krad were finally engulfed whole, with only their screams signaling their departure. The Void, now satisfied and freed of it's blood lust, destroyed itself and shattered into oblivion. The pendant had also obliterated itself seconds after, only leaving a puff of smoke to extinguish in the brutal onslaught of rain and wind.

Eventually, the tempestuous atmosphere died, and so did the endurance of the sprinklers.

Only Daisuke, Satoshi, Risa, and a sea of rubble and dust remained of the room. The real rain and gust of wind blew their hair about peacefully under a black sky. Sirens sounded. People yelled and shrieked. Search lights danced to and fro.

The bell of the tower tolled: the harbinger of midnight.

_

* * *

_

_"..And then we'll..."_

_"Don't you think..."_

_"That's a good thing, trust me.."_

_"You're insane."_

The sentence had ceased all communication for a period of time. He pushed his violet locks back, preparing himself for verbal complications_. "Damn it, don't you know how important this is? Don't you realize by now that there is no other way?"_

The boy's frown deepened_. "No."_ He deadpanned_. "I don't."_

_"I'm not trying to make this hard on you. You're acting like I want this to—well, yeah, I want it to. You know it can't be done any other way. Risa closed the door to a cure just as much as Krad did."_

_"I know! I just wish you wouldn't say it!"_ Daisuke screamed, throwing a pillow at the wall_. "And I hate you because of it!"_

Gazes completely focused on one another, they silently contemplated the stalemate. Nothing else to be done. Nothing else that could be done. It was just the way it was.

Daisuke fell on the bed, defeated and grieving. Nothing else that could be done..

After another moment of speculation, Dark decided he would override the crying with his own voice:

_"Riku cannot know that you and I are the same person. If she knew and accepted, I would disappear. That would defeat our purpose, so...I'm going to tell her that I know who did it...and that the museum is his usual hideout."_

Daisuke's eyes, red with anger and anguish, fixated on him. There was no use objecting. But the one war he could wage without losing was that silent, mental battle. A glare that would wear down on Dark's consciousness, and slowly eat at him. If no words need be spoken, Daisuke wanted to be subtle in his cruelty.

It seemed to be working, but Dark still wouldn't shut up until the bitterness was firmly embedded into him, and the fatal notion was permanently instilled in his tamer's mind.

_"She'll stay outside the bell tower in case anything goes wrong. She'll go at 11: 30, and wait until midnight. If nothing happens at midnight, she can assume that I died without finishing him off."_

Daisuke's resolve to hate finally withered, now being completely unmanned by the reality, the inescapable mechanism Dark had set up. This was necessary, he knew. No other way to be done. Nothing else that could be done..

He looked away from his alter ego, struggling to remain hostile. But he was growing more weary as the seconds ticked on. Just stop talking..

_"Hiwatari...for this to work out, Hiwatari.."_

The memory faded into the recesses of his mind, dormant. Waiting to be called upon by the fiend of misery—in the darker, later hours...when the soul is completely conquered by all black conviction.

Daisuke opened his eyes.

A white washed room he wished he never knew. It only seems to deepen the nostalgia, press further into the wound.

The hospital.

Satoshi and Risa lay upon their respective stretchers, both attached to heart monitors. Satoshi was having trouble breathing. He had undergone two seizures thus far. Risa seemed a lot better off, though she appeared frighteningly comatose. He was afraid she would never get out of it. He had inched nearer to her, to see if her eyeballs were rolling under her eyelids.

_Please, just tell me you're dreaming_, he thought.

Nothing. Limp and lifeless was she. It was terribly unnerving...

____

_The sky was infected with white. Not the insufferable white, though. It was not unpleasant. To her bewilderment, nothing was. It was an atmosphere of perfection, an immaculate blanket of silence and..._

_That improbable man. The angel...without any wings._

_This Nirvana was not to stay for long. He appeared pained, almost sick._

_She inquired of his malady, though the words never seemed to leave her tongue. She repeated herself time and time again. She realized she had gone mute. She touched her face. It was void of a mouth._

_"I'm sorry for everything." He sobbed. "Everything.."_

_Everything echoed._

"Risa?"

_G...Ly dew_

_ck lee_

_mg_

_._

_I don't._

_Talk to you want t to._

_Out_

_o of you're your you_

_mind._

_Ugly. Sis_

_tee, ugly_

_hide_

_see k._

_k._

_Satoshi, me. Me. Me._

_Rk. Ku Risa Ri.._

"Risa.."

_Some thin g, about Dark._

_I don't. See you either. I don't._

"Risa, are—"

_Are. Are. Away. In vain. In pain._

"—Awake? Hello?"

"Hello?"

Tangibility now. She was conscious, but not fully awake. She wanted more than anything to rest, to slip so deep she could call that angel back. Risa doubted he would come. He had been defiled by her, permanently. She must have killed him..

"Risa. I know you're in pain. But please stay awake. I have to t-tell...I have to tell you something."

It was Satoshi. He was not sitting by her bedside. Quite the contrary. He was laying on a bed of his own. His breathing was labored and heavy, and his voice was not so smooth and collected as it would be under normal circumstances. A pity he should be reduced to this, she thought.

She had trouble remembering anything. It was probably that man again..

She turned to him and said nothing, only waited. His reply was intercepted by Hiwatari.

"Now, now, son.." he said softly, rubbing his shoulders, "Everything's fine. Trust me."

"N-no.." he protested, reaching out for Risa. "I have to tell you something.."

"Calm down. I'll clear the confusion if you calm yourself."

Satoshi complied, though still reluctant. His eyes never left hers.

Hiwatari's attention turned to Risa. "I thought you should know that your sister notified your father that you were in the building at the time of the explosion. She is unharmed, and is currently at home with him. Since you two are so sleepy and weak, I had the doctor lie and say that you guys would be out for a few days."

Risa's eyes widened with the unbearable rush of ambivalent feelings and accumulating questions. "Then...where's Daisuke? Where is he? I saw him...with Dark, a-and there was a big black hole sucking up everything and destroying everything—" Her speech became rushed and sporadic. It wasn't long until she was confused and no longer comprehended herself. She grew silent, groggy and ashamed.

Hiwatari smiled warmly. "He's asleep. Right next to you both."

Risa and Satoshi turned their attention to Daisuke, who slept soberly in his own bed. Though his face, arms and legs were embellished with bluish bruises and cuts, his appearance suggested he was not enduring any pain.

"Woke a few times, though. Looked like he was thinking about something—very deep in thought. A few minutes into it, he fell asleep again. I wonder why he didn't want to talk to anyone.." Hiwatari trailed off, musing about the behavior of his son's acquaintance. Daisuke was usually quite social and very talkative, even if he wasn't feeling well. It wasn't like him to be so withdrawn. But after something this severe..

In grieving now, he understood.

"Riku was..." Satoshi began wearily, "She was...waiting outside for him."

"For who?" Risa inquired. "Dark?"

Satoshi nodded gravely. "She knew that Daisuke would be injured...after we separated.."

"Sep—you mean—that hole...drew them out? Dark and Krad?" she said breathlessly, astonished beyond belief.

"I don't know why.." he murmured, peering inquisitively into his father's eyes. "Do you know?"

"I thought this wouldn't end up confusing you," said Hiwatari, slightly amused. "You know more about that pendant than I do."

The interposing voice startled them all.

"No she didn't."

Daisuke tried to sit up, but upon finding he could not, slumped back onto the bed with an irritated countenance. "Riku didn't know. She didn't know the half of it."

They remained silent, waiting for his revelation. He obliged with a sad smile that confounded them both.

"Riku was lied to. Dark told her that he knew who tried to strangle Risa, and he cleared you from her suspicions when he said you argued with her because she wouldn't tell you who it was."

"Why..?" Satoshi propped himself on his elbow, staring intently at Daisuke.

"The pendant. It's not around your neck." He stated, lifting up a finger with mild difficulty to point that out. Satoshi felt around his neck, unsure of what to feel.

Risa had not the slightest idea of the significance the pendant bore, but remained silent. Hiwatari sat down and withdrew from the conversation for a short period of time.

"That pendant is meant...to protect human life. Not just the wearer, but anyone that is within it's power to protect. Though it was growing weaker, it still had enough energy...to save us both," Daisuke continued. "It was Dark's intention to sacrifice himself for you. It was for your mother..."

"My mother?" Satoshi tilted his head. "He...knew her?"

Daisuke let out a bitter, dry laugh. "Apparently."

It was so painful to even address him in a conversation. He remembered that last statement. So grossly inappropriate. His last words to Dark...his last words...were that he did not want to think about Risa. And here she was, laying between them, looking confused and heartbroken. And what was the last thing Dark said to him?

_"I'm sorry."_

How heart-wrenchingly ironic.

Before further words could be exchanged, Hiwatari stood and addressed them all. "I knew about Dark's plan the entire time." He glimpsed at Satoshi. "The notification was not mailed to the police department at all—it was given to me by Dark himself."

Daisuke nodded solemnly in agreement, averting his eyes to the floor.

"Needless to say, I was genuinely surprised. I would never have thought he would make such a selfless sacrifice to you both. And I was to ensure that no one else was involved, and you would unconsciously cooperate."

Satoshi blinked, stunned. "He was planning to get caught the entire time. We were going to use Krad to lure him into the Void, but...he intended for that." He glared at his father. "And you helped him."

"I had to. If I didn't, it would do no good to either of you. He freed you both from your curses at the cost of his own life."

Risa flew into a rage. "Why didn't you tell me, Daisuke? Why? I could have—I—" she began to weep bitterly, shrouding her face in her hands. She sunk into her pillow.

"We...couldn't." Daisuke swallowed hard, trying not to be overcome by tears himself. "He said...you'd..."

_"We can't tell Risa. She'll blow it out of proportion and try to do something about it.."_

_"_Worry too much. It would be so hard on you, Risa." He thought of ending it at that, but decided against it.

"You're not the only one, Risa. Mom and Grandpa didn't even know. They would...try to do the same thing."

_

* * *

_

The hours danced by like minutes. Satoshi fell into musing after a while, indulging himself in the ceiling. It was a curious thing on his part to count the tiles, even if the number was insignificant and he'd lose count eventually.

Risa and Daisuke were no longer in the mood for any form of human contact, and needed their space to speculate about a similar pool of thought. Risa pretended to sleep, while Daisuke turned his back to everyone and stared blankly at the mute TV screen playing an old re-run of Seinfeld. Hiwatari sat in a nearby chair, head down, deep in slumber. His breathing was faintly audible.

From outside, the sky grew gray and distressed. Soon it was raining. As the minutes drew on, the rain intensified, though still too soundless to notice. Before he knew it, it was already 4 in the morning. Still, sleep eluded him. He was grateful that he would not have to return to school for a few days, and his sole companion would be solitude...unless either Risa or Daisuke decided to forgive him for his unknown transgression. They all seemed angry with everyone, didn't they? But it was understandable...

After all, Dark and Krad are gone forever. What a deep word. Forever..

It echoed for a long time, but he didn't mind. It embedded the reality in him. Just how long forever was, it was beyond his blurred mindset to fathom. Did that complex, frightening word echo in Dark's mind too? Did he truly fathom the severity of that word? Did he know the implications of the sacrifice he was making?

And this was to free them both...

Satoshi laughed quietly to himself. What an unprecedented, selfless act. It was astounding.

He glimpsed at the clock: 4:09.

When her memory returned, she opened her mouth.

"Satoshi."

A whisper in the dark. Slightly startling, but welcome all the same. Did she forgive him?

He turned to her questioningly, wordless. Her back was still turned to him, as it had been for all those silent, fleeting hours. He knew she wasn't just talking in her sleep.

"I should have talked to you, at least." She murmured slowly, as though choosing each individual word carefully as she spoke. It was odd of her. "I mean, about that man. I think his name was.."

"Krad." said Satoshi, no longer feeling any malice at the mention of him. It no longer mattered anymore. He knew the day would never come that Krad would actually disappear and he'd end up feeling grateful for it. He didn't feel anything, really. The recurrence of his image no longer drew up any emotion. Such a peculiar feeling..

Risa felt some uneasiness, though it was not conveyed. "If only I would have talked to you about it...I was just so scared, Satoshi. I knew—you knew—that he could kill me. And I knew he could kill you too, if he wanted.."

"Probably not," Satoshi softly admonished, "Krad cherished his life. He hated me equally, but...he would never go so far as to kill me. We shared the same body. If I got hurt, so would he."

"I wish I would have talked to you still. If I had just stopped being a coward and confronted you, I would have known this. We could have worked something out.."

"I don't think so. Krad and...well, you. You wouldn't want to put up with him and me your whole life—"

Risa stiffened a little. "That's another thing I'm concerned about. I was thinking that...I would like a life...w-with you...but.."

No one witnessed Satoshi's smile, nor did he imply it in his tone. "In the meadow...I was going to tell you how much you mean to me. I would drive until the end with you, I know. But I also know...that this isn't what you need right now. You've been through a lot. This has been a long year of suffering."

She stifled a sob, biting her lip. Her fingers clawed soundlessly at the pillow, intending to tear at the fabric. Assailed with the reveries of her mother, of him, of Daisuke, and every one she dragged into her insufferable charade of depression. When she thought it too much to deal with, she found sense in what he said. Yes, it made perfect sense. It was a process that required time.

And he was willing to wait.

"I know." She managed.

"Time. It heals. I'll be here, Risa. With you, the entire time."

No one witnessed her smile either, though that didn't stop her. "Time, yeah.. And I need a little love to ease the pain."

Daisuke narrowed his eyes, averting his gaze from the TV screen. No longer ill at heart, he drifted into repose with Riku's face in his mind. Tomorrow, he decided, he would allow time to run its course...with her at his side.

_God's in his Heaven; all's right with the world._

_

* * *

_

_(Risa)_

The sky is a pale blue that puts everything at peace. The sun is blinded by the clouds that are crying over the city.

I'm laying on my bed, hearing the rain conduct its symphony of ceaseless taps on the window pane. We lay in unison. His cerulean blue tresses rest on my bosom. I breathe in and out, and he smiles to himself, content. His hand reaches for mine.

I'm reluctant at first, though my shyness withers away with his playful touch. His fingers caress with gentle dexterity. I loosen and find that nameless place. I can see that wingless angel in my mind now, with a face...and no longer pained.

To be with you...

Our hands meet. Clutch tightly.

To be with you..

We fall asleep hand in hand. The boy and girl run down the street, sloshing the water about...chasing each other.

I love that combination.

_Finis_


End file.
